Monday, December 13, 2010

It's Always Something..

I know I try to keep things light around here and I'm usually rather positive, but it's 4am I've been up with Skyler since 2, and I think he may have possibly gone back to sleep maybe (fingers crossed) and I'm feeling rather sleep deprived. What's on my mind is baby number two. I feel him moving around in there quite a lot now but over the last few days I've started to feel something other than kicking/punching and hiccups.. It feels like a rapid, shaking, convulsing kind of movement. It happens in two places usually, at the same time. Like his top half and his bottom half are both doing it at once. It's too fast to be hiccups and it feels different, and it's much too fast to be kicking. I never had that feeling with Skyler.. To be honest it feels like I imagine a seizure would feel like.

I have an appointment with my OB in the morning so obviously I'm going to tell her then. I'm just freaking out a bit and since someone else won't let me sleep I felt the need to vent. (Skyler is definitely not sleeping.. sigh) I'm not sure what to do, I've googled fetal seizures and the things I'm finding are not reassuring, the case studies done on it say that the prognosis is poor. Some posts say it could be the uterus spasming, but it doesn't feel like that to me. Here's hoping I'm wrong. There's a chance that this baby has CNS abnormalities, if he is seizing in the womb. One of the reasons I'm worried is because what Skyler has can cause seizures. We just got lucky with him and he has never had one. And though the ultrasound showed that this baby seems healthy, there's no way of knowing for sure because the area of the brain they need to see is too small until sometime after birth.

I know that I said going into this that I wasn't afraid of this baby having special needs.. I know that if he does we won't love him any less.. I just really was hoping for a break. Or at least that he'd have the same type of thing as Skyler, something known is less scary I guess. And I know that he may have what Skyler has, but just a worse version of it if he's seizing already. I'm just freaking out a bit because seizures are scary and it could signal something much worse. Here's hoping I'm just being hormonal and paranoid.. I guess I'll have a better idea in the morning when I see my OB.


Stacie said...

I hope that your doctor can lay your worries to rest. Please let us know how your appointment goes.

Will be thinking about you.


Ya Chun said...

I seem to remember Beanie doing something like that - and it scared me to pieces!

Hope the doctor can tell you what is going on ((hugs))

LuckyOnce said...

I really hope that it's nothing. Thinking of you.

jennohara said...

All I can tell you is stop googling! It can make things so much worse. I did so much of that when Hanna was diagnosed with a kidney problem before she born. It turned out to be nothing, but the dang internet had me so worried!!
I know it's easy to worry when theres a chance that your unborn baby can have special needs as well. I do ALOT of worrying too.

i hope the ob only has good things to say tomorrow!
good luck!