So I opened an Etsy shop. I've been thinking about it for a long time now, probably over a year. The comments on my blog were encouraging and C started making beeswax candles so we figured why not give it a try. I've always been the crafty type. In fact I have a new obsession: miniatures. I'm ordering an heirloom dollhouse kit to put together for the kids to play with. I'm sure I'll end up playing with it too. I want to make all the tiny pieces that go in them too, I've been looking at some dollhouses online that people have made. They're insane! So detailed it's just amazing.
I've been feeling conflicted about Skyler's upcoming surgery. I know it's necessary, I know that it should help with his self confidence because it should help him "look" like a "normal" kid. But I'm scared of what could go wrong, even though I know it's a very safe procedure, there are always risks to everything. I'm also worried that someday he'll feel like we changed who he is, that we didn't like how he looked. I was listening to the radio one day and that Pi.nk song came on, the one about being perfect and I started crying and couldn't stop for a while. I just want him to know that he is perfect to me just the way he is. I feel like I'm going against that though, that by having them do the surgery on his eyes to uncross them, that I'm saying he's not good enough the way he is.
I know it's crazy, I know I'll get over it eventually, especially if the surgery helps him see better. And maybe someday he will be grateful that we chose for him to have the surgery. And who knows he may never even think those things that I'm worried about. Still I think as his mom I'm entitled to freak out a little bit now and then I guess. And I know I'll probably freak out even more as the date draws nearer, but I'll hold it all together. I always do. Here's hoping it all works out for the best.