Taking It Day By Day

Sewing, Sewing and More Sewing

2012-01-16T15:22:00.003-06:00

Today I'm working on making my first ever corset. I'm using a pattern, so we'll see how it turns out. It's not a proper garment pattern, but more of a costume pattern. That's alright though I have to start somewhere. The only problem is I need to find my red twill which is hiding somewhere in my storage closet. I can't wait to be finished making my costume for the medieval festival. It's not until this summer, but I am so excited. I've always wanted to go to a ren faire, but there aren't many around here. This is the first one I've found that's close enough for us to get to.

I also have to make a costume for my mom, and the boys. I'm thinking family pictures will be a must once we're all in costume. I'm still undecided as to whether I want to dress the kids as knights or pirates or little princes or what. Any suggestions?

And on top of that I want to make myself a cloak, and I need to make a petticoat/crinoline for under my skirt because it's a very very full skirt and it would be a waste not to poof it out. I know it's more historically accurate to use a farthingale, but I'm going more for comfort and a fantasy style than historical accuracy. So if anyone has any advice on how to make a petticoat let me know. I've read several different ways online but I'm not sure which one to go with. I'm hoping someone will have some experience to share with me.

I also got a tiara today, though I'm not sure if I should wear it or not. I'm still debating between that and maybe a circlet of flowers. Not sure how well flowers would go with the dress though.. I will have to see once it's finished. Now the hard part, getting C to serge the hem of the skirt for me so I can hem it and finish it up.

It's kind of nice having all these projects to do though, keeps me busy.

January

2012-01-11T18:16:00.003-06:00

Has it really been since November? Yikes. My kids are growing up so fast it seems. I often wonder where the time has gone. Right now I'm busy working on my friend's wedding. She's doing a steampunk DIY kind of thing, and I think it's going to be fabulous. I'm currently crocheting the shawls in her wedding colours (peacock blue and black). We're going to be dressed in Victorian/Steampunk style dresses and I'm very excited for the pictures, Skyler is also in the wedding party as the ring bearer. It's not until July though.

Adriel is walking unassisted now. 4 or 5 steps at a time, but I think by tomorrow or the next day he will be full blown walking on his own. I found out there is a medieval festival thing going on the summer time in a little town not too far from here so I am also making a dress to wear to that. Can you tell I like period costumes? And crafting.

Skyler is doing well, we've been practicing letter recognition and phonics on his chalkboard and his whiteboard (which is actually a bar fridge). He is learning so much, and so quickly. I have little doubt that he will be reading on his own before 5 years old. And Adriel is eager to copy anything he sees someone else doing, especially his big brother. Yesterday he climbed right up onto the couch from the floor by himself. I was astounded. Especially since he doesn't really know how to get back down on his own!

My birthday is coming up at the end of the month. I'm going to be a quarter of a century. Sounds so old when I think about it that way. I've been working on my family history and I just love finding out all sorts of things about the past. It's fascinating. It makes me wish my great grandparents were still alive so I could question them about all sorts of things.

Anyway I have two wonderful little boys who need my attention. Hopefully I will be able to write more before another month or two pass by!

Homeschool is Awesome Because...

2011-11-28T10:49:00.004-06:00

-You get to stay up late if they can't sleep
-You can wake up any time & do your learning/lessons
-You can learn/teach in your pyjamas
-You don't have to walk/drive to school in -40c weather
-If it's nice out you can do your lessons outside
-Your child learns at their own pace
-If they have troubles you can slow down and explain it again and do extra review
-If they're ahead they can keep working ahead
-One on one instruction
-Everyday errands become part of lessons (grocery shopping etc, you can teach about money)
-Don't have to worry about what they might be learning (or not learning) in school
-No bullying
-No peer pressure
-You can teach ANYTHING you want, things they don't have time for in school
-Any subjects you need help with teaching you can outsource
-You get to spend time with your kids
-You never have to go to the principal's office to talk about your kid
-They're not exposed to a ton of germs every day
-You can do field trips wherever you want to go whenever you want to go
-You can go on a family vacation any time of the year
-You can choose to use a curriculum already made for you or you can make your own
-You could unschool and not use a curriculum at all
-You can decide to school year round, or break it up any way you want to
-If your kid(s) show an interest in something you can do a huge project on it and incorporate just about every subject (If your kid likes cars you could do a project encompassing art, math, English, science etc by having them draw cars, write an essay, build a model car, calculate how much their favourite car costs etc)
-Extracurriculars are limited only by your budget & your kid's interests (swimming, horseback riding, gymnastics, you're not stuck to whatever public schools offer)
-Homeschooled kids in general are better at socializing with people of every age group and tend to be more mature.
-Homeschooled kids score higher on standardized tests in general
-Standardized tests in most places (though not all) are completely optional
-Colleges and universities are starting to search out homeschooled students because they tend to have a passion for learning
-You learn just as much as your kids
-Even simple things like cooking and baking become opportunities for learning (math in measuring ingredients, science in how heat changes the ingredients into something edible etc)
-You have a completely flexible schedule, do lessons in the morning or after lunch or in the evening, whatever works for your family
-You don't have to miss lessons if you're snowed in. Or you could choose to go outside and build a snow fort instead
-Discussions with grandparents about how they grew up can be valuable history lessons
-Lessons don't take anywhere near as long at home as at school. 2-3 hours a day is generally enough
-Homeschooling is fun!!

I know there's more, so tell me if you have any I missed!

Almost 3 Years

2011-11-16T11:10:00.005-06:00

Wow I let time slip away from me again! We're getting ready for Skyler's birthday around here. I can hardly believe it's been 3 years! It doesn't help that amidst the chaos we have all caught a cold. Yuck. We've been back and forth to the hospital to visit one of my family members who caught pneumonia and then had several other complications on top of that. She seemed to be doing better last time I saw her but we haven't been able to go visit for a while because I didn't want to risk getting her sick. I hope this cold is gone soon so I can go catch up.

As Skyler approaches 3 I am wondering if I want to start doing some more "formal" learning. I know for the most part we're going to just do play and play based activities. There's only one thing I am debating working on with him and that's reading. There's a huge debate in the early childhood education community and in homeschooling circles on formal education about whether early is better, or late is better. I usually tend to come down on the later is better side, but when it comes to reading specifically I don't know. Personally my mom taught me to read before I was 4 years old. It always served me well, as I love to read and write. In fact I am a speed reader.

I know that each child learns differently however and at different rates. I'm not looking to 'push' him to read at the same age I learned, but I am wondering if I should try something like Hooked on Phonics and see if he has any interest. (I played a Hooked on Phonics game when I was a little person too and I remember enjoying it quite a bit) I mean as it is right now we enjoy reading together and he likes to pretend to read, and he describes pictures and points to words, so he is showing definite interest and some signs of readiness.

I don't want to be one of those people who forces their kid into becoming some sort of child prodigy just for the sake of bragging to their friends "look what my kid can do!". I'm thinking that learning to read is just such an integral thing and it will open up worlds for him, plus I guess I want to share my love for reading. Anyway I know that if he doesn't catch on or show interest that I won't push it.. He will read when he is ready, whether that is now or a few years from now.

Any thoughts? When did you/your kids learn to read?

Sky's Eyes

2011-10-17T21:06:00.003-05:00

Homeschooling Part 1

2011-10-15T14:29:00.002-05:00

Why We're Homeschooling

We decided to homeschool Skyler when he was still just a baby. The first reason we ever considered it was because of his special needs. His medications require monitoring in the sense that if something happened to him that was stressful on his body he would need an emergency dose of prednisone. Which means he would have to have someone with him at all times who was trained in administering his meds (oral or intramuscular needle) and who knows how to judge what causes his body to become stressed, they would also have to track the administration of the meds and communicate with us so we don't over/under dose him at home. Plus they would have to be trained to work with a child with low vision (and at the time we made the decision he was still blind). The chances of having a good EA who is trained in all that and with him consistently are very low. Then on top of that, he is small for his age and having an adult follow him around will inevitably make him a target for bullies. Coupled with the fact that I have worked in several schools and seen a lot of nasty things that happen behind the scenes.

Aside from our worries about Skyler I had my own concerns about my school experience and my husband's as well. Public schools are full of unpleasant experiences that don't contribute to a positive learning environment. There's bullying, drugs, peer pressure, teachers hitting on students, teachers who shouldn't be working with children (we had one who used to jump on top of the desk and smash things while screaming at us. He also made the boys wear dresses and run races while he videotaped it..), school shootings, bomb threats, and the list goes on.

Then when we examine the learning environment of the "traditional school", we find even more reasons to home school. I'll put them in list format to make it easier to read.

-Schools assume that everyone learns the same way, they use a one size fits all approach. Children don't all learn the same way. Some are auditory learners, some are tactile, some visual or a combination of the different types.

-Learning periods are set up in such a way that keeps kids from getting too interested in a particular subject. As soon as they start to enjoy something a bell rings and it's time to change subjects.

-Teachers don't have any real interest in your child's future, they do their job to get a pay cheque.

-Teachers are overloaded, they have 20-30 kids in a classroom and can't spend individual time with each child.

-If your child is behind or ahead they get left behind as the class moves on or they sit there bored if the class is behind where they are.

-Most school systems force teachers to teach to test because their funding gets cut if the kids don't pass.. Which means your child is memorizing mainly useless facts and learning how to take a test, not getting much real education out of it.

-Subjects are decided by the school board, the child and you the parent get little to no say in what your child is learning.

-If a child is fidgety (who wouldn't be, when forced to sit at a desk for several hours when all your body wants to do is move) they are labelled problem children or ADHD and often teachers will try to get you to put your kid on drugs to make them more manageable.

-Children need time outside in nature to play, make connections and calm their bodies, most schools have cut back on recess and outside/play time in order to cram in more test-based learning.

-Children spend most of their 5-6 hour school day waiting, including waiting for other students to settle down before the teacher can teach, waiting in lines, etc.

-Lots of schools are now implementing weird and unnecessary policies in order to prevent law suits. These policies don't help our children. For example there are schools in TX where children are not allowed to touch anyone (no high fives, no hugging, no handshakes nothing). Some schools even force kids to wear tracking devices that only work on school grounds. Those are only two examples I'm sure you can find a lot more.

-Children learn best by hands on experiences and they create more meaningful memories and are more likely to retain knowledge gained this way, however schools provide very few opportunities for meaningful hands on learning.

-There is little to no flexibility in scheduling. The staff have to follow what the school board sets out for them.

I know there are a lot more points I could make about this, but I don't want to come down as completely hating public schools. I know they serve their purpose and for some families they are a good fit. Next post I'm going to move on to the positives of home schooling. But for now I am going to go rest because I'm fighting off a nasty cold.

And on an unrelated note, Adriel signed his first word today and stood unassisted for the first time!

Post Op

2011-10-13T10:01:00.003-05:00

The surgery went well, although when we were in the pre-op room Skyler was hugging his daddy and he said "I'm scared" which threw us both off guard. I admit I shed a couple tears when they took him in to operate on him. When he woke up he was pretty cranky (understandably so) and they had warned us at the pre-op clinic that he would be very clingy for about ten days after and that once he was ready to go back to normal he'd probably start doing things he had never done before.

So the day of the surgery he was extremely clingy and tired and didn't want to eat, only said two words the whole day and was definitely not himself. His eyes were very bloody looking (they still are) and he wants to rub them though he's not supposed to. So we let him just sleep that day pretty much. By noon yesterday he started talking again even asked for a grilled cheese sandwich! By the evening last night he was into everything!! He climbed up onto the headboard of his bunkbed and tried to climb onto his water table. He opened a bottle of gentian violet (Adriel's thrush meds, which stain everything purple) and dumped it all over the carpet. And he was running back and forth through the apartment. He also went down the stairs with me without feeling for them first. Now I'm not sure if that's because he's familiar with those stairs or if it's because of his surgery.

His eyes aren't completely straight though and I'm not sure yet if it's because they still have to scar back into place or if he'll eventually need another surgery (I seriously hope not) only time will tell I am sure. They are however much straighter than they were before. At night he's been waking up a lot, last night he cried for a while and was trying to tell us something but the words just wouldn't come out properly. It was hard to see him like that. I hope this recovery stage goes by quickly. He hasn't awoken yet this morning and I'm going to let him sleep for a bit so he can recover. My next post will be all about homeschooling! :)

For now I'll leave you with Skyler. I chose a picture where you can hardly see the blood so it's less disturbing, but here he is one day after surgery. (Yesterday)

Long Hiatus, Quick Updates

2011-10-09T14:45:00.004-05:00

Okay so I admit to being a terrible blogger. I decided to take a while away from computers to just live without being plugged in. And it was nice! But I haven't had the time to blog since then. Skyler is back in preschool and loving it, except for the last two weeks we have kept him at home because he has his strabismus surgery this Tuesday (two more sleeps) and he's not allowed to be sick. I'm still basically holding my breath hoping he doesn't catch anything in the next two days and that the surgery doesn't get cancelled (they can bump us if someone else needs emergency surgery). So I'm in some sort of frenzy caught between anxious, excited and hoping that it doesn't all fall apart at the last minute.

Also within the last few days I somehow managed to lose my camera and I'm terribly upset about it. Although "lose" in this case might mean that a small person decided to shove it somewhere it doesn't belong or throw it in the garbage (which has already been taken out.. sigh) I'm holding out hope that we may find it yet, but if not then I guess I'll be saving for a new one. In Adriel news, my little man is an avid crawler, he will go anywhere and pull himself up on anything especially if he thinks there is food somewhere or a book that mommy might be trying to read. He is so close to walking it's scary. He's only 7 months!

Today is Thanksgiving so I made a peanut butter cream pie coated with dark chocolate on a graham & butterscotch crust. I'm pretty optimistic that everyone is going to enjoy it. At least I don't have to cook dinner, as we're going to my mom's house. Skyler is such a talker now, he has an amazing imagination and he loves to tell stories and retell his favourite books. I'm so excited too because we joined a homeschooling group in our city and we're going on our first official homeschool field trip on the 20th! Should be fun! Anyway I have to run to get the kids ready for our dinner tonight. Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian followers! I hope everyone is well, and keep your fingers crossed for Skyler's surgery!

Brief Update

2011-08-09T19:19:00.002-05:00

Skyler is speaking in full sentences, spontaneously now. You'd hardly believe to hear him talking that he was once a child of whining and pointing (though he still whines..) it's amusing the funny things he says. He's excited to go back to preschool next month, I'm happy that he likes it. We'll hopefully start to work on the alphabet a bit more in the winter. He loves reading with me. Every morning I grab a Dr. Seuss book and hop into bed with him and we read to each other. He has memorized most of the words to his favourites. And every time we get to the end of the book he says "Be And!" instead of "the end" it's so cute.

C and I have started making our own organic soaps and household cleaners. Better for the environment. The dishwasher powder we made works quite well and it's really simple too. It's just baking soda, citric acid, salt and borax. (I think. C made it.) I've been crocheting a lot too, making dishclothes and bath puffs and so on. Keeps my hand busy while my mind concentrates on other things. Adriel is still having shuddering attacks, but I try not to worry about them since the doctor says it's not harmful. He is growing like crazy too, getting cuter everyday. I love my kids!

Anyway I just wanted to give you guys a quick update, it's late and I think both the kids might finally be sleeping *fingers crossed*

August

2011-08-02T12:35:00.003-05:00

Thanks for the comments everyone, we've been so busy lately. On Sunday we went out to a town about an hour away for the Icelandic festival. We go every year and visit our friends in their Viking Village. Living history re-enactors set up their tents for a week or so and they re-enact how the vikings lived. It's very cool and a lot of fun (while learning!) .We had a great time. Oh and about a week ago, Skyler got his first tricycle! I was amazed that I managed to find one that he can reach the pedals on. He still doesn't know how to make it go on his own yet, but we're working on it.

I've been crocheting my fingers off lately. I'm going to try my hand at a craft sale or two this fall I think. I crochet enough I might as well try selling some of it. Only one more month until Skyler starts back at his preschool. It's only 2 hours a day twice a week but it's a nice quick break for me. I was going to sign him up for more swimming lessons in the fall but his surgery is going to be in "September, October or November barring emergencies" and he won't be able to swim for a month or so after that so I think we may wait until next spring. Summer goes by so fast it seems.

Anyway I have a fussy baby to get to so I've gotta run, but I hope you all are well!

Shaking with Jubilation

2011-07-19T14:58:00.003-05:00

Excellent news: The pediatrician watched the video I made of the little guy shaking rapidly and he says it's something called a shuddering attack (or shuddering spell), it doesn't affect the brain and he will outgrow it. It just looks scary because it can be mistaken for a real seizure. You have no idea how relieved I am.

Waiting..

2011-07-06T08:45:00.003-05:00

So the ER docs think it could be infantile spasms which is what I figured (a rare form of seizures that are worse than your typical kind) so they said they'd send a report on over to Skyler's neurologist. I call Skyler's neuro and the receptionist says no, ER docs can't refer you over. You need to go to your pediatrician and have him refer you and then wait while we assess his priority. Lovely. At least the ER doc did manage to get us an EEG, too bad it's in September. For now I am being hopeful. He hasn't had any more episodes like he did that day. There has been shaking/tremors while feeding and falling asleep but they're brief and he seems to stop when I touch him. So I am taking that as a good sign and telling myself he is fine so I can keep my sanity until the EEG.

In other news, my homeschooling motivation is in full force. I'm really happy with our decision especially since his OT with the CNIB told us that he won't receive services in school. His vision is bad but not bad enough for him to get help, which as she tells us is the worst situation. Those kids end up struggling because they can see, but not well enough. At home he'll have all the support he needs and we can take it slow, use a magnifier, make things large print, take breaks. Whatever we have to do. The one on one time will be invaluable I am sure. So right now I am deciding on books that we need to have. We're not going to be using any set curriculum. I find them too limiting, and I am horrible at following a day to day plan. I am more of a go with the flow person.

Instead we'll have access to several curriculums, as well as workbooks that have everything we need to know for each grade level (and they're Canadian too). I'm basing our homeschooling on the idea that learning should be fun and engaging. If you enjoy it you are much more likely to remember what you learn. I'm thinking we will let the kids decide what they want to learn about for the most part, with a bit of the mandatory stuff thrown in so they keep up with their public schooled peers.

Today or tomorrow I am heading off to Chapters to find some books for our homeschool. We're going to be using the library a lot I am sure, but I think it's essential to have lots of good books around. So my question to you is, if you were being homeschooled or homeschooling your kid, what kind of books would you want to have at home?

A New Path

2011-07-03T09:10:00.002-05:00

Yesterday when the morning started off with Skyler puking into my mouth I stupidly thought to myself "At least it can't get worse than this." Then I quickly I took it back, but it was too late. I know that just dooms you, when you think it can't get worse it always does.

Which is why I was only mildly surprised when last night ended with Adriel having (what I'm unfortunately sure was) seizures. There is almost zero doubt in my mind about what I saw, it happened 3 times. The first two I thought were just really bad shivers, we were outside and the wind was blowing. Skyler touched his leg and he jerked and stiffened like he got goosebumps or a really bad chill. He did it again when I touched his foot to see if he was cold (he was). So we went inside. About an hour later I was breastfeeding him and he fell asleep. Then he started to wake and his right arm went up by his head like he was startled and he began jerking it rhythmically and fast. I put my hand on his tummy and said his name several times but he kept going for a few more seconds. Afterwards he cried and I held him and then he was fine..

The jerking movement was the same feeling I felt when he was in the womb and I asked my OB. She said he was just stretching and sometimes it feels like that.. I feel foolish for hoping that this was some sort of f*ed up stretch he was doing, but in my gut I think I know that this was not just him stretching. When Chuck got home from work about 5 minutes later I told him what happened. I googled a video of a baby having infantile spasms and the first one I saw was a baby doing the same thing Adriel did outside when I thought he was cold only an hour earlier.

We call Skyler's neurologist tomorrow morning for his MRI results anyway so I suppose the timing is perfect. (Ha. Perfect time to have seizures, is there such a thing?) We'll make sure he checks out Adriel as soon as possible. Unless it gets worse today and we may have to take him to children's. Right now I am eerily calm.

Last night there were tears, but this morning I knew I had to do something to center myself. So I wanted to walk down to the river where I usually go when I need to think, but there were people there. They were smoking and hacking up a lung and it was disgusting so I almost left feeling discouraged but then I decided to find a new path to the river. And when I came out of the woods I had a new perspective so I wrote down what happened.

Today I walked a different path. In some places it was mucky, in others it was completely washed out. Sometimes I felt lost. Sometimes I had to back track and find a different way. Sometimes I had to make my own path. It wasn't easy or straightforward like my old path, but the view was amazing. I think I am ready now, for what's to come.

Lots to Do

2011-06-25T07:37:00.005-05:00

Wow has it really been that long? Where do I start? Skyler had his MRI last week. It kind of sucked, but it wasn't horrible. Gave us a bit of a preview for what will happen when he goes for his surgery though (with the IV and all that). We're still waiting to hear when the surgery will be. I'm hoping soon. I'm dreading it as much as I am looking forward to it.

I've been doing a lot of homeschooling stuff with Skyler, been keeping track of it in a daily log. Skyler loves the activities we do. Singing songs, playing counting games with marbles, reading books, alphabet bean bags, painting, colouring, gluing, all sorts of fun stuff! He asks for them every day. Adriel is getting so big! He turns 4 months tomorrow and he's 14.8 pounds and 25 inches long. He's already surpassed Skyler's weight at one year old. I wish I could say Skyler's grown, and he has, but not physically. All things in good time I suppose, eventually he will start growth hormone probably and then he will grow.

The last two days we spent landscaping my mom's front garden. It was kind of a wreck before, she's had old cinderblocks around the garden for as long as I can remember, and it looked pretty awful. So we dug all that out and put in some nice new bricks and then we planted flowers. It looks great now. And we really enjoyed our time outside.

Anyway I have so much to write about but I can't seem to organize my thoughts right now so I'll leave you with some pictures from yesterday.

Communication

2011-05-23T21:15:00.002-05:00

Skyler is talking so much more, I didn't think it was possible but he's starting to be a bit calmer now that he can get his point across without screaming. I mean he's still a spitfire without a doubt but he's now saying things like "want it." "hold it." "upset" "no thank you mommy" and the needless screaming has lessened a bit.

Our days have been quite busy now that I'm homeschooling in earnest and we're full on potty training. I've banned Skyler from wearing diapers in the house unless he is going to bed for the night. So far he's done quite well. I am determined to get him potty trained within the next few months. He's only asking to use the potty about 50% of the time right now, but I think we will get there. I am watching him closely and when he starts to go I bring him to the potty quick as we can go.

He is loving all the learning we're doing. I'm using a child centered or unschooling approach where he leads the activities. I do pull out the flashcards, or take out supplies for an art project but if he's not interested we move on to something else. (And he tells me now when he's not interested "no mommy, no book" etc) I've started keeping track of our homeschooling in a daily log. Our department of education requires we sent in reports twice a year on what our children are learning. Luckily I don't have to send them until he is 7 years old, but I don't think there's any harm in starting to keep records now. At least I will be used to it when the time comes, and it really shows you where you've been and how you're progressing.

Adriel now is almost 3 months and weighs 13.8 pounds. Can you believe it? Skyler was about 14 pounds at one year, and this one is 3 months old and almost there already. Mind blowing to me, they are almost the same size right now. This kid is adorable. He's exclusively breastfed and he refuses to take anything but the boob. Chuck has tried to give him expressed breast milk a few times now in a bottle and he refuses to, I guess he would take it eventually if he was starving but I'd never go away long enough for that to happen. Fortunately he recently found his thumb, and is no longer using me as a soother. Oh and he talks, boy does he talk. Or at least he thinks he does.

Normally Skyler yells and points when I pick up the baby, but today for the first time he told me what he wanted instead of yelling. He pointed and said "want it, want it, baby" I asked "you want the baby?" he repeated "want the baby" so I put him down next to Skyler, and Skyler started tickling him, and they both giggled. Super cute moment. I love having two kids, even though they keep me so busy I forget to breathe at times haha.

The Twos: Temper Tantrums

2011-05-10T22:06:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I wonder if my 2 year old's behaviour is typical 2 year old behaviour. He can be the happiest, sweetest little boy, but he can also drive me insane at times. It's like he has zero patience for anything at all. The second he can't make something do what he wants he begins screaming and crying (usually while yelling "help") until someone comes to fix it. If you try to get him to do it himself or show him how to do it himself he continues throwing this gigantic fit until you help him/do it for him or he pukes. Which is also what he does if you try ignoring him to see if he'll try to solve the problem himself. Yes he screams until he starts coughing gagging and puking if you don't find a way to stop him.

I know I work in childcare I have studied child development, and I know two year olds have no patience. But is this normal?? I used to take care of a two year old, and she was patient, she was quiet. She would attempt something many different ways before getting frustrated. I know all kids have different personalities. So is my child just extremely impatient and easily frustrated? Is he going to be like this forever as it's part of his personality or will he outgrow it? Or my worst fear of all, is this some kind of toddler 'roid rage? The meds he takes every day twice a day (prednisone) are a steroid. I am always worrying that perhaps they've taken over what would have been a completely different personality. Maybe he would be calmer without them.. We will never know because he has to take them every day for his entire life or risk death.

Obviously I would rather a living breathing angry impatient child than the alternative.. Still.. I can't help but wonder, and of course worry. I'm crossing my fingers that it's just a phase he'll eventually grow out of. Hopefully before I pull all my hair out.

Bullying Hurts

2011-05-03T12:45:00.003-05:00

I took Skyler to swimming lessons today, and he's finally reached the point where he doesn't want to leave the pool. Yay! When I took him out of the pool after his lesson he looked back and said "Water!" then he let go of my hand and attempted to go back in. This from the kid who refuses to step foot in it until he's sat on the edge of the pool and splashed with his feet for a good five minutes.

After the lesson we went to get changed in the locker room. There are lots of lockers and a bench and people change near each other type deal. Anyway I was getting him dressed and a mom with three little boys came into our little area to get her kids changed. The boys must have been around 3-5 years old. As I was getting Skyler dressed they noticed him. They looked to their mom who was busy and being kind of curt with them. "Mommy what's wrong with her eyes? Mommy look! Look at her eyes. What happened to her eyes mommy?"

The mom didn't even glance up at us, she just ignored her children, who kept asking. Her response to them was to eventually say "nothing." and then to continue trying to get them dressed. I think she didn't know what to say.. Like she didn't want to acknowledge that my child was different. I was about to interject, to say something, to tell the children that he was born that way and it's okay, but the mom started talking to them about getting dressed, wearing flip flops whatever. I just kind of stared for a second, trying to process as I got him dressed. Then Skyler wandered across to the other side of the changing area, the three boys followed him and climbed up onto the bench and stood there.

"I'm bigger than you!" they taunted my child. "Look at me I'm higher than you!" they said, pointing down at him. The mom kind of laughed and told them that they are bigger than my child and they probably shouldn't be teaching the little one to climb up there. Or something like that. She didn't use a gender pronoun, I guess she didn't know what to think of him. (Btw he was wearing blue jeans and a blue shirt with a picture of a cute little monster on it). I just kind of half smiled and said "he climbs up onto the bookshelf at home anyway."

I had Skyler come back over to where I was and the boys went on to the opposite side of the bench and pulled each other away from the side where Skyler was and snickered, and they all just kind of stared at him. I finished getting dressed as quickly as I could. Not quite sure what just happened or how to react. The thing is, they're young kids. I don't think they were trying to be particularly mean. They were just segregating themselves the way they know how, same, same, different. I badly wanted to say something, but I just froze. I didn't know what to say, or how to say it. Fortunately Skyler was oblivious to the whole thing. He was just interested in all the cool things to see in the locker room.

And maybe someday with various medications and surgeries my child will "look" like a "typical" child, but I will never let him think that it's wrong to be different or that it's okay to hurt someone else's feelings just because they don't look the same or act the same.

I can't change what happened today or how I reacted, but what I can do now is to implore you as parents and caregivers to please please talk to your kids about bullying. To tell them that it isn't nice to point and laugh at others. That some kids are different than them, and that that is perfectly okay. And if your child does point out another child's differences talk to them. Talk to your child about it, explain it in a positive way if you can. And if the other child's parent is there and they seem approachable, maybe ask them about it in a polite way. Talk to the child who is different! Maybe they have something to say about it. I hate that we talk about children with special needs more than we talk to them. Just please don't ignore your child's questions, children want to be heard and they want to understand, if you just take some time to explain it to them or find the answer together then maybe the world will become a better place, even just by a little bit.

Don't Get Around Much Anymore

2011-05-03T07:53:00.005-05:00

Yesterday was a terrible day. On Sunday I figured out that my maternity benefits had been cut off without knowing why. I haven't had a cheque in over a month, nor have I received my kid's cheques. I woke up at 4am yesterday to feed the little one and I couldn't fall back asleep I just had too much on my mind. Then we had to get up, take Skyler to preschool and go advance some money from C's paycheque just to pay the car payment and other bills. Then we had to go vote in the federal election and go to the Service Canada Center to figure out what happened to my Maternity benefits.

Fortunately the lady there said that my claim had simply expired so she had us open a new one and said I should get the rest of my leave, and they will back pay me for the last month. I don't know how it works in the states, but here we get about 9 months of maternity/parental leave paid by EI. So I panicked when I had only had 3 months and suddenly got cut off. The only trouble is we now have to wait for the money to show up, which will take another 3-4 weeks. I also called about the kids cheques. They claim they've sent them but they aren't here yet.. It's been like 10 days. Normally I get them on the 21st.

I did get my dollhouse in the mail yesterday though. We've painted most of the walls with the first and second coat and stained the floors. There's still lots more painting to do before we can put it all together though. I'm excited. Skyler already wants to play with it even though it's in pieces.

And the night ended on a sour note for me. I was really unhappy to see that the conservatives now have a majority government in my country. I hope these next four years go by quickly and maybe people will pick a better leader next time.. Also shortly after that happened Skyler (who couldn't sleep and normally he goes to bed no problem) decimated his room with puke. So C had to shampoo the carpet, and then run out to pick up more of Skyler's zant.ac since we ran out. It was our fault for letting him have french fries and chicken strips for dinner.. Sigh.. Sometimes I just wish he could have the things normal kids have once in a while without being punished for it by copious amounts of vomit. So I spent the rest of night coming up with lists of things he can and cannot eat since he has GERD.

I hope your Monday was better than mine.

Things My Kid Says

2011-04-27T08:16:00.002-05:00

This morning Skyler heard me open the mail and came running
Skyler: Treat!
Me: What? No this is a Sears catalog.
Skyler: *looks at me with a serious look and shakes his head* "No"
Me: What do you mean no? It's a Se.ars catalog I swear, look there's a lady on the cover trying to sell us 400 thread count sheets.
Skyler: *shakes his head again* No..
Me: Yes.
Skyler: No. Treat.
Me: I'm not trying to trick you, this really is a Se.ars catalog.

**********************************************

Me: Skyler what do you want for breakfast?
Skyler: Brefkast. Motorcycle!
Daddy: How about a waffle instead.

**********************************************

Skyler: *Pointing at some guy in walmart wearing a toque* Hat! Hat! Uncle Ber.en!
Me: Yes that man is wearing a hat, just like your uncle does. He is not however your uncle.

**********************************************

Skyler *approaches a couple in the store arguing over whether to reuse a paint tray for two different colours.* Repeating the guy Skyler says "Reuse tray!"
Daddy: *walks over and grabs him* Sorry about that.
Guy: No problem he's helping my argument.

**********************************************

Upon seeing a friend of ours who's in his 30's but has graying hair
Skyler: Grampa!

**********************************************

Perfect To Me

2011-04-25T22:08:00.004-05:00

So I opened an Etsy shop. I've been thinking about it for a long time now, probably over a year. The comments on my blog were encouraging and C started making beeswax candles so we figured why not give it a try. I've always been the crafty type. In fact I have a new obsession: miniatures. I'm ordering an heirloom dollhouse kit to put together for the kids to play with. I'm sure I'll end up playing with it too. I want to make all the tiny pieces that go in them too, I've been looking at some dollhouses online that people have made. They're insane! So detailed it's just amazing.

I've been feeling conflicted about Skyler's upcoming surgery. I know it's necessary, I know that it should help with his self confidence because it should help him "look" like a "normal" kid. But I'm scared of what could go wrong, even though I know it's a very safe procedure, there are always risks to everything. I'm also worried that someday he'll feel like we changed who he is, that we didn't like how he looked. I was listening to the radio one day and that Pi.nk song came on, the one about being perfect and I started crying and couldn't stop for a while. I just want him to know that he is perfect to me just the way he is. I feel like I'm going against that though, that by having them do the surgery on his eyes to uncross them, that I'm saying he's not good enough the way he is.

I know it's crazy, I know I'll get over it eventually, especially if the surgery helps him see better. And maybe someday he will be grateful that we chose for him to have the surgery. And who knows he may never even think those things that I'm worried about. Still I think as his mom I'm entitled to freak out a little bit now and then I guess. And I know I'll probably freak out even more as the date draws nearer, but I'll hold it all together. I always do. Here's hoping it all works out for the best.

2011-04-21T20:15:00.001-05:00

Keeping Afloat

2011-04-19T18:16:00.004-05:00

Oh my, where have I been? Everywhere it seems. Skyler had swimming class today and though he cried through his last two classes without letting up this one was different. I let him walk all the way from the change room to the pool (last time daddy carried him because he pinched his finger and was crying). We got to the pool with 15 minutes before his class. He stopped a few feet away from the pool and when I suggested he come into the water he started to whine. So I thought that's alright we have lots of time and I let him stand there. I stepped into the water (it's a heated, indoor kiddie pool with a very very gradual ramp to get in on the shallow side) and he stood and watched. After a few minutes he was ready to come a bit closer and watch. I couple minutes after that I managed to get him to sit at the edge of the pool with his feet in the water touching the bottom of the pool. He splashed and kicked for a bit and smiled.

Then the instructor came and started the class, I signed him in and then I managed to get him to walk into the water with me, he didn't want to go all the way in to where his class mates were so we stood back a bit near the entrance while they sang some songs. He sang and clapped with them and was really into it this time. I even managed to get him to hang on to me and go into the deep end with the other kids. This time it was great, not a single tear and we got to do what the rest of the class was doing too. And he even went down the slide!

After class we came home and he took a nap then we spent the rest of the afternoon outside playing at the park. He absolutely loves the seesaw and ever since he got to play on one of those little play structures at preschool he loves the slide too. So we had a nice afternoon outside doing that. Even though it was only 5 degrees we spent a good couple hours out there, until I noticed some creepy dude staring out his window at us. And this wasn't just casual glancing. I mean this guy was standing at his window holding his curtain and watching our every move. That's when I decided it was time to go in. Talk about disturbing.

Skyler is gaining independence left right and center, and when he can't do something he gets extremely frustrated. But he is becoming such a little person, I love when he talks. Today he helped me make rice for dinner, and wiped (or attempted to anyway) the baby when we changed his diaper. He is becoming a little bit jealous, but he still does love the baby and he kisses him and his newest thing with the baby is "tiny hands, tiny hands.. high five!" which always makes me laugh.

Speaking of the chubbins. He's almost 13 pounds already! At least according to our home scale, who knows how accurate that is. Anyway he's huge. Skyler was only 14 pounds at one year, and this little guy isn't even two months yet. I put him in a sleeper that Skyler was wearing at 18 months and it pretty much fit him. The sleeves were just a tiny bit too long.

We've started trying to save for a down payment on a house. I'm so tired of living in an apartment. The kids need a yard to play in and I need a place where I can paint my own walls and that kind of thing. I'm attempting to use up my stash of yarn and make a little bit of extra cash to put away by making baby hats. They're pretty cute if I do say so myself. Hopefully others will think so too.

Anyway it's 1am and I'm beyond exhausted. I'll try to write again soon if I get a chance.

The Fun Never Ends

2011-04-08T12:33:00.004-05:00

It's been a while, where do I start. We've had many appointments and classes this week, it's been crazy busy and hectic but we've made it work. Skyler is loving preschool. When we told him Wednesday morning he was going to preschool again he was excited, and all smiles. His teachers were very impressed with his perfect rhythm during music time. After his first preschool class on Monday we took him to his endocrinology appointment. Everything was good except he unfortunately has not gained any height or weight at all since his last appointment six months ago. She said that when you measure them standing as opposed to lying down they tend to lose some height so we'll wait for the next appointment in 6 months and see if he's still the same height. She said he won't lose anything by waiting to start the growth hormone, so we might as well give him another chance to grow on his own before the 8 hour blood test.

He had his first swimming lesson on Tuesday, which he was not very impressed with, but it was my fault. We were running late so when I saw the class had already started I rushed into the water and plunked him down on my lap.. Oops. He's two and he needs time to adjust to the water and to feel in control of something in his little world. So next time we will make sure to get there early and take our time getting into the water so he can enjoy it a lot more.

I went to the dentist on Wednesday and found out I need a root canal.. Joy of joys.. Oh and Tuesday night my SIL decided we were returning all the bridesmaid dresses and we were just going to go buy a black dress for wedding. Amazingly enough the dress shop refunded the whole $300 and I went to Se.ars that night and picked up a $27 dollar cocktail dress. It's cute and I can wear it out to go dancing or for dinner etc. In other words the money was much better spent on that than on the $300 formal gown that I would literally only wear once.

Thursday we went to my moms and Skyler enjoyed his time outside playing in the yard at grama's. Oh and we haven't had hot water in our apartment since Monday so most of the reason for going to my mom's was so I could finally take a shower. Then this morning the baby woke me up at 4am and wanted to feed all morning, by 8am we had to head over to the children's hospital for Skyler's opthalmology appointment. We got in about 45 mins after our appointment time which honestly for that doctor is a very short wait. As soon as we entered the doctor congratulated us and welcomed the baby and asked if he could put drops in his eyes. I was happy he asked because I was planning on seeing if we could get him checked out. He took a look at his eyes and said he is perfectly fine.

He asked how Skyler had been doing, if he was alternating eyes still, and he is. We said he's been using the right one a bit more so we've been patching it. And he remarked to the opthalmology student present that "it's always nice to have smart parents". He tested him with the snellen cards (a series of grayscale pictures on cards, they're very light and boring to look at). Skyler was largely uninterested in them but he still managed to test at 20/60 which is great! The doctor remarked in his report that he believes Skyler sees even better than that, but it's hard to test him, when he's not interested in the pictures. He also discussed with us getting Skyler in for surgery to weaken his inner eye muscles. This would straighten out his eyes a bit more and hopefully lessen the nystagmus, it should also help open up his peripheral vision so he'll have an easier time getting around. It won't correct his depth perception but it might help a bit. So we put him on the waiting list for that. It won't be for another 5 or 6 months though. And in June he has a brain MRI from Neurology.

It's a lot to process honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about all of it yet. We will do what's best for him I have no doubt, but it's a bit daunting thinking of your little one going under the knife and starting HGH injections and having to be put under for an MRI and on and on.

After his opthalmology we called my OB because I was scheduled for my appointment at 11:40, but it's in the same hospital and we were done Sky's appointment by 10am. They said sure thing come on in. So I got to see my OB right away, she prescribed me some stuff for thrush, and the pill, asked how things were going etc. She said that next baby I am no longer considered high risk and won't need all the monitoring so that will be nice. She did say though that we can have the prenatal assesment instead of a regular ultrasound which is awesome.

Then from that appointment we rushed over to my stroller fitness class. I was a bit late, but I snuck in and stayed toward the back until we went to walk around the track together. I met a girl around my age and we chatted for the whole class. It was nice. The class starts with a warm-up stretches and stuff for 15 minutes, then we walk/jog around the track for half an hour and then we do pilates/yoga stuff for the last 15 minutes.

Anyway all that's left of this week now is to go to the rehearsal dinner tonight and the wedding tomorrow. I hope you are all having a much less eventful week so far!

Knock on Wood

2011-04-02T00:46:00.003-05:00

So it's been almost two weeks now, we have to make an appointment with Skyler's NP next week but I don't think we'll have enough time the way our schedule is right now. Anyway he's been taking the antacids for almost two weeks and so far so good! No puking, and his appetite seems to be returning. Today for dinner he ate an entire chicken breast and a potato and a little bit of corn. C said he choked a bit after though, but no puke. I'm not getting my hopes up too much, but I would be so happy if the antacids fix his puking issue. I was at my SIL's bachelorette party tonight. It was a lot of fun to get out of the apartment away from the babies for a while and laugh with the girls.

The little one is good, he's super chubby. He has a double chin hehe. And Skyler is so amazing, talking and learning and playing. He understands so much, and he seems to see so much more than I ever thought he would. Now that he is talking more he points out things that I didn't realize were in his visual range. We were watching tv the other day and he was sitting on the couch with us. Chuck paused the tv and went into the kitchen and Skyler was pointing at the screen saying "lamp. lamp." I didn't realize it at first because he loves lamps I thought he was talking about the one on the table next to the couch, then I looked up and saw he was pointing at the one on the tv screen. He has opthalmology this coming Friday so I'm sure we'll see if his opthalmologist can get a better idea of his usable vision.

Speaking of which this week coming up is insane. Monday Skyler starts preschool in the morning, then endocrinology in the afternoon. Tuesday he has swimming class, Wednesday is preschool again, then after preschool I have a dental appt. Thursday I think we have off, Friday morning is opthalmology, followed by my appointment with the OB, and I'm supposed to have a stroller fitness class in between but I think I am going to have to miss it. Then later that evening we have a rehearsal for my SIL's wedding. Saturday is the actual wedding. Phew. I'm feeling tired just thinking of it. The next week isn't looking much better either. I'm sure we'll get used to being super busy.

Oh and on Thursday my little Skyler guy got his first real hair cut at a hair salon for kids. I think it looks pretty cute. I took pictures with my new ipod, but I haven't uploaded them to my computer yet. I posted one of them on facebook though.

GERD

2011-03-23T11:34:00.004-05:00

So the doctor we saw (who happens to be my mom's regular doctor) I think was a little bit flaky. She asked us almost as soon as we came in if we had ever taken him to get his eyes checked out. Like we're complete idiots. When I said yes she asked me who was following him, like she didn't believe me. Yes I undertsand you have 7 years of schooling, but do you really think you are the only person who can see that my son's eyes are crossed?? I guess an idiot like me who is clearly not a doctor would never even think to get that checked out. I think I am mostly offended because I was the one who discovered his eye condition, I was the one who fought with doctors to get him in to see the pediatric opthalmologist. I was the one who discovered his diagnosis. "OMG his eyes are crossed?? This whole entire time, the past two and a half years I NEVER noticed thank GOD for doctors like you who can point this out to me, because I'd never have noticed otherwise."

Also, she had his file right in front of her. I may only have 3 years of university but at least I know how to read and when doing so might possibly be beneficial, like say when seeing a new patient for instance. Sigh.

Anyway, that annoyance aside, it's possible he has GERD/acid reflux so she prescribed him a low dose of Zantac and told us to make an appt with his NP in two weeks to see if it's working and if she wants to send him to see a gastro specialist and have an ultrasound of his tummy. Poor kid, he just can't seem to catch a break.

In happier news, he's talking up a storm now, and aside from repeating absolutely everything that everyone says he is also starting to use sentences on his own! The other day he tripped and fell over, instead of wailing at the top of his lungs like usual he said "I fell down" then he got up and lowered himself to the ground and said "I fell down" over and over. Haha it was cute and funny. He's also started to ask for things "pillow blankie, snuggle daddy" when he goes into our room. When he wakes up he cries and says "hungee" and I get him some breakfast. He points at the window and says "window, outside. go outside" and yesterday I saw him put on his sock all by himself for the first time. Also he's now pronouncing the letters he wasn't saying before! And it's taken over two years but he finally says mommy and mama and mom. And he says it a lot. I love hearing it.

Oh and he spends a lot of time staring at his baby and smiling, pointing out his eyes and hands and nose and mouth and every other lovely tiny baby part. And yesterday I saw him standing over his baby and singing head and shoulders knees and toes. While pointing to the baby's knees and toes. Absolutely adorable. He also loves to kiss him on his soft little head.

2011-03-19T09:20:00.002-05:00

I've been meaning to write a post for a while I just can't seem to find the time. Adriel is doing great, aside from me having thrush, again.. Sigh. Skyler though is puking again.. The last two days he hasn't wanted to eat and he's thrown up everything he did eat. We're starting to think it may be a side effect of the prednisone or something because it's getting ridiculous, a toddler should not puke this much it's just unnatural. I broke down yesterday, I just felt so overwhelmed with it. We made an appointment for him to see a doctor at the practice where his NP works, she's away Monday so they stuck us with another doctor. And he has an appointment in April with his pediatrician but I don't want to wait that long I want to find out why he's puking so much. He's still only 20 pounds and he'll be two and a half in May. Well actually he was 22 pounds last week, but I weighed him this morning and he's only at 20.9 now, with all the puking and not eating..

In less crappy news, I finally made my first ring sling. It's so cute I love it. I now have 3 different kinds of soft baby carriers that I've made myself. I'm finding out which carriers I like better for which things. At night when he's fussy and I can't soothe him by nursing I stick him in the pouch sling and I pace the living room for a while, he passes out. During the day when I need to go out and I want him close to me I put the wrap on before we leave the house, then I just pop him out of the car seat and into the wrap. When I don't have time for the wrap (because you have to take a few minutes to put it on) I grab the ring sling, which is also perfect for nursing in public because the tail is a great nursing cover and I can nurse while I walk around and no one is the wiser.

Yesterday I signed Skyler up for swimming lessons with the red cross. I'm so excited, he loves the water, I think it will be fun. I also signed Adriel and I up for a Stroller Fit Fusion class. I've been working out at home this whole time on the bike, but I think it will be nice to get out and meet other moms and learn some yoga and walk around the track. So far I've lost 15 pounds since Adriel was born (7.9 of which were baby mind you, plus placenta and water) and I have 15 more to go, but truthfully I want to lose 25. Not all at once mind you, but over time. Honestly I'm not really focusing on losing weight. I work out more for the benefit to my heart and body than my looks. But I think it's good to have something to strive toward nonetheless.

Adriel is 3 weeks old today and he celebrated by letting me get a couple hours of sleep, so I'm happy. Oh and yesterday my mom cut my hair, I'll have to post a pic later, right now I have someone asleep on my chest.

2 Weeks (almost)

2011-03-10T16:37:00.003-06:00

We went for Adriel's two week check up today even though he is not quite 2 weeks yet (on Saturday he will be). The pediatrician looked at the weight on the chart and said "wow, you're breastfeeding? You must have a great milk supply". He's 8 pounds 11 ounces, meaning he's gained over a pound since birth. Also he lost weight in the first two days like all babies do, so he's gained a fair bit since he was born. The doctor said he's pleased when a baby has managed to gain back the weight they lost right after birth, nevermind gain an entire pound. He told me to continue breastfeeding exclusively, and that Adriel looks great, he's healthy! I couldn't be happier. Aside from feeling a bit sad about missing out on Skyler's first few months I'm really very elated.

I've adjusted to having two kids a lot faster and easier than I thought I would. At first I was worried about C going back to work so soon, but we've managed quite well. Yesterday I got two loads of laundry done, and managed to give Skyler a bath. Sometimes the yelling competitions can be a headache, but for the most part Skyler is a great big brother who loves to kiss his baby and tell us about his eyes and ears and other little parts. I do spend a lot of time with baby at the boob, he loves to eat, which is fantastic. I feel bad though not being able to jump up and tend to Skyler whenever he wants, but he is a very independent two year old so he doesn't seem to mind much when I'm busy with the baby. Plus I make a point of spending time with Skyler when Adriel is asleep, we cuddle and we read stories and paint pictures. He doesn't seem to be jealous at all either which is amazing I think.

I don't have much to complain about really. I don't get much sleep, but that's okay I'm managing. I try to nap when the babies are both asleep (hard to get them both to sleep at the same time though!) and C does get up with Skyler at night, (if/when he wakes) if I kick him hard enough (just kidding it's more of a gentle poke or twelve). Anyway I wish I had a picture of Skyler kissing Adriel, because he does it a lot, but I never seem to have a camera around. I think mine is hiding in one of my pockets somewhere.

Bath Time

2011-03-10T16:25:00.000-06:00

Regret

2011-03-09T19:53:00.002-06:00

We've had Adriel for 11 days now, and a feeling of regret and some sadness has been settling over me. For the past 11 days I've held him close to me, breastfed him exclusively, soothed him when he cried (which is rarely) and worn him in the baby carrier. He's growing well, he's eating well, he hardly cries because I tend to his needs before he has a chance to cry. He's chubby and cute, he makes hilarious faces, and his big brother loves kissing him on the head and patting his back gently.

Why then am I somewhat sad and regretful? Having a newborn at home with me, to love and hold and care for, has really made me think about the past and how I was never able to do all that for Skyler. He spent the first two months of his life in a plastic box without the love and human touch that new babies need so badly. He lived under bright lights, with beeping and needles and tubes and nurses poking him every two hours, eating his formula & breastmilk through a tube in his nose. When he came home it was hard, he had been on the bottle in the NICU and didn't want to breastfeed. I feel sad because he missed all the love, safety and security of being a newborn in his mommy and daddy's arms. Maybe it's why he's so independent now, I'm not sure. I know he knows he is well loved, and I know he has secure attachments to us. I just can't help but look back and feel bad now that I know what we missed.

Adriel

2011-03-01T11:13:00.004-06:00

Okay I know I'm way late in posting this, but I want to welcome to the world Adriel! Born at 9:10am Saturday Feb 26th, weighing a hefty 7 pounds 10 oz (almost double Skyler's birth weight).
And here's his birth story for those who are interested.

I had been taking care of Skyler round the clock with his nasty cold. He couldn't sleep because he was so stuffed up and coughing his little lungs up. I was about at the end of my rope, Thursday night I had only had about 2-3 hours of sleep and then on Friday he was up until 6am, and I was up with him. Holding him, singing to him, pacing with him. He finally went to sleep at 6, so I went to bed. I woke up briefly at 7 with some cramping and fell back asleep. By 7:30am I was in pain and there was a gush of fluid.. My first thought was maybe I can go back to sleep.. Haha. Then the pain took over and I called my mom and woke up C to take me to the hospital.

When we got there triage checked me and said I was almost fully dilated, there was only a tiny lip left. We walked down to my birthing suite, which was awesome. They said I wasn't ready to push yet, I told her I certainly felt ready. The nurse was great, she said okay lets breathe through the next two contractions and she'd check me again. I did and she let me push as she checked, she found the lip was moving out of the way when I pushed but then slipping back into place after. So another couple contractions and she had me try again because I felt ready, then she said I was fully dilated and they sent for the OB.

She got there quickly, and she said she had just sent my OB home for the day, but that was alright because she was really great anyway. She told me to just do what my body wanted me to do, and I did! They said because his heartrate was a bit low I'd have to give birth on my side. Which was much easier than on my back. Anyway after about 4 big pushes and lots of encouragement from C & the L&D staff baby was here. It was very smooth, overall I was only in the hospital for one hour before giving birth. And it didn't feel like an hour, it went by so fast.

He was a little stunned so they took him over to the little bed thing in the room and checked him out. He cried after only a few seconds and was fine. He never left our sight either, and I got to hold him and feed him immediately after. The room I gave birth in was nice and it was calming to have my own music playing while giving birth. Also we got to stay in the same room for the whole thing, labour, delivery, recovery and post partum. Unlike last time where I was in four different rooms. There was also free cable tv and phone, and C got to stay the night with us. They brought him a sleeper chair. It was like a hotel room.

Anyway his pediatrician came and checked us in the morning and said he was 100% and gave us the go ahead to come home. So now I'm adjusting to having a newborn for the first time ever, and having two kids. Oh and C goes back to work tomorrow..

The Waiting Game

2011-02-23T17:58:00.004-06:00

All is well inside. The OB took a listen, heartbeat still strong, and he's practicing his Irish jig in there (in other words lots of good movements). Water still has not broken, I had some more intense contractions last night, but he's still a no show. I'm in good shape, aside from being a bit flustered. So all we have left to do is continue waiting for him to make his appearance. The OB said (kind of jokingly) he must have something important to finish up in there, and he'll come out when he's ready. On one hand I am rather relieved. I was pretty scared there would be mention of pitocin or induction since I've been in labour this long. Which is not something I want. Medical interventions are never good unless someone's health is in danger.

On the other hand it's back to waiting for him to make his move. I happen to be a rather impatient person unfortunately. But I know that whatever he is doing in there is important and he will come out when he is ready to. So I am back to meditating, drinking lots of water, and well I still haven't stopped working out on the bike and I think that's keeping me sane. My weight is more in my belly now than anywhere else. The nurse at my appointment even said I'd lost weight instead of gained. (Not in a bad way mind you, it was just a couple pounds) Anyway I am off to admire our new bedroom curtain that C just finished sewing.

(and he picked the fabric, it's super cute)

One Week

2011-02-22T11:08:00.003-06:00

And it has now been a week of early labour. I have an OB appt tomorrow so I am thinking she will probably want to start pitocin or something.. Sigh. I was really hoping to do this without medical interventions. Also today I am 38 weeks along so there's pretty much no way they can make me give birth in the high risk area as fas as I know.

On the bright side apparently my package is being delivered today according to the Canada Post website. For the first time I ordered some clothes online for Skyler. None of his shirts fit him anymore, he's still wearing 6 month pants because he has short legs and a skinny waist, but his top half is 12-18 months and sometimes 18-24. So I ordered him a bunch of clothes on sale from Ol.d N.avy because we had a gift card. I'm really hoping we'll be home when it's delivered. I also ordered a onesie for the babe who is not here yet. Guess his onesie is going to arrive before he does.

Update..

2011-02-19T16:28:00.001-06:00

It's now Saturday, I've been contracting and dilated to 4ish cms since Tuesday. Have eaten entire bag of M&Ms. That is all.

Schedule Interruptus

2011-02-17T07:02:00.003-06:00

So Tuesday I went into labour, or what I figured must have been false labour as I had regular contractions for a few hours, called C home from work and when he got home the contractions slowed and all but stopped. We went to sleep, luckily my OB appt was Wed morning. Again I got in to see her early, she checked me and said I was 4cm dilated and would likely be giving birth later that day and as luck would have it she was working 7pm to 7am. She then sent me home to relax and wait it out.

The contractions were about 2 minutes apart by 5pm, so we headed in to the hospital. In the car they were right on top of each other with no pause in between. The nurse checked me when we arrived and said there was pretty much no change. I was still about 4cm. My doctor was due to start in a couple hours so the nurse told me to walk around and come back to triage in a bit. She also said that the charge nurse in low risk labour & delivery didn't want me. She said that 37 week old babies have a hard time latching or some b*llsh*t. Truth is I overheard them talking and they were saying there were no beds available in low risk L&D so I'm sure she was just using that as an excuse.

So we went to the cafeteria in the general hospital and had a bite to eat. We got back when my doctor started. She checked me again and said I'd opened up only about a cm more. Doctors orders were go home, relax, have sex and come back when they start to get intense or my water breaks. She figured we'd be back before her shift ended. Well it's 7:13 now and here I sit. I think this baby is building himself a permanent fortress in my womb. I am so not going back to the hospital until he's tunneling out of me because I don't want to be stuck there any longer than I have to. Being there for 3 hours sucked bad enough.

Wish me luck.

Carry Over

2011-02-13T10:46:00.003-06:00

Ah yes as I promised I should tell you about Skyler's SLP appointment. It was his second appointment, and he had physio at the same time. Physio wants us to encourage him walking over, and on top of things because of his depth perception problems. He needs to be comfortable with walking on uneven terrain and other things like that. So in addition to climbing up and down the stairs in the apartment block each day we're going to try to have him walking over pillows and that kind of thing. Our OT (from the CNIB) said she is going to look into getting us a disabled parking pass so he can have more independence when we're out and about. Right now we just carry him because it's too far to let him walk the whole way to the doors when he's so tiny and there are so many cars driving around. Plus he goes quite slowly. And curbs are an issue. We may get him a cane in a few years, when he's ready for it. Just to help with things like curbs and uneven terrian. He's pretty good about finding his way around, but a pot hole would probably send him flying to his butt.

Anyway on to SLP. I pointed out a bunch of things and the SLP and I talked. His receptive language is fantastic. He knows what you're saying, he will point to things, repeat words and sentences, follow instructions etc. The only thing is he tucks his bottom lip in all the time. When he attempts to say something he uses the back of the throat sounds which are the hardest ones for kids to learn, and he never uses the lip sounds which are the easiest (m, p, b). So we have to try to get him to use that bottom lip and stop tucking it under his teeth. Every time we say something to him with one of those sounds we're supposed to pat our lips to show him how we're making the sound. And we have to try to put something on his lip to help him stop sucking on it. She suggested some kind of chapstick that he might not like the taste of. Everyone I've asked has recommended Car.mex. So C got some last night.

He did keep his lip out a bit more with the chapstick on, but still won't touch his lips together to make the sounds. When he says "baby" it comes out as "daydee". "Happy" is "Ha-ee" etc. Sometimes I know exactly what he is saying, but other times I get confused because so many words sounds the same with him using the D and K sounds to replace so many other letters. In addition to showing him how to make the sounds, we're supposed to rub or tap his bottom lip to draw his attention to it. So far when I do that he seems to like to suck it in more.. The SLP said she's never actually seen a little guy who sucks in his bottom lip. Most kids do the pouty lip and stick out the bottom one, but not suck it in. I guess my kid just has to be different :)

And we also have to make sound bags. So for each letter he doesn't say I have to put together a bag of items, toys, pictures etc of things that start with that letter so that we can work on having him label those items and try to get him to say those letters. I'm thinking the letter B will have things like a picture of a baby, a book, a ball, a bottle, a toy bee, etc. Then I have M, and P to do as well. I know I need to get started on that, but I have been pretty busy with everything else. The baby is due at any moment, so I am doing my best to get all that in order.

Yesterday I had my mom over to show her where everything was for when I go into labour and she comes to watch Skyler. I've packed my hospital bag, and arranged for a tour of the hospital's maternity ward. I made a checklist of things to do and make sure to have before we go, etc. Last night I had my first cramp/contraction thing going on while we were walking around the department store. It got so bad we had to go because I could hardly move. This morning when I woke up my baby belly looks so much smaller. Even though I am still huge. I can feel that he has definitely dropped into position so I don't know how much longer I have until we're welcoming him into the world.

Oh and to the second part of what I said I'd talk about. Some of you might know I have anxiety disorder. It's especially bad in hospitals, doctors offices etc. Or at least it used to be. Now a days I am much much more comfortable going in for routine check ups. I no longer have doctors telling me that my blood pressure or heart rate are off the charts. I think the people make a difference. I love my nurse practitioner and my OB, they make me feel comfortable. But the thing I still have a lot of trouble with is calling people I don't know.. I've always had panic attacks answering the phone or calling someone when I don't know them. Like banking, or services or pretty much anyone who isn't my family. I used to make C do it for me.

On Thursday and Friday I decided to work up my courage and just do it. I called about six or seven different companies/people for things that normally I would have had enormous panic attacks about. I managed to call one of my credit card providers and tell them to send me a cheque since my account was accidentally over paid. I closed the account too, we're paying down all our debt and closing the accounts because we want a house someday. I called the hospital to book a tour, I called the community centre to ask about his preschool, I called the lady who runs the preschool, I even called my Finances department for my work and asked them to keep my benefits while I'm on leave. And I didn't have a singe panic attack!

I know it sounds ridiculous for some people, but for me it was a huge deal being able to do that. I've been working on a stress and meditation workbook lately and I think it's helped me a lot. I've been meditating more than usual and working out 20 minutes every night on the bike. I think it's helping me keep my head clear, and keep the unnecessary anxiety out of my life. It felt really good knowing I was able to pick up the phone like a grown up and talk to people I normally would be afraid to talk to.

Anyway I've gone on long enough, now I'm off to finish icing the heart shaped cookies Skyler and C and I made yesterday.

What a Day!

2011-02-11T20:33:00.003-06:00

What a day we had today. Skyler went to bed last night at 6:30 on his own, so I didn't bother to wake him since he must have been tired. Of course he woke up around 5 or 6am this morning, and wouldn't go back to sleep. I swear he knows when we have plans for a busy day. First thing we did this morning was go to Fu.ture Sh.op to spend some gift cards. We bought my mom a tv since we didn't need anything else from there. So we went and surprised her with lunch and a new flat screen LCD tv to replace the huge hunk of junk she had before (it was one of those old ones with the giant back on it that uses a ton of energy). This one was a 26in and her old one was only 19in. She was so surprised and excited it was awesome.

After lunch we headed to a community club near by. C and I had recently talked about enrolling Skyler in a preschool program at the community club. It's the same program I used to take N to when I was pregnant with Skyler so long ago. I know the ECE who runs it and she's a lovely lady so I'd feel alright leaving him with her and the other ECE who happens to be her sister. So we went and registered him for the spring session starting in April. Honestly I've been kind of nervous and excited about it. It's two days a week and the classes are two hours long. We've never really left him with anyone except my mom and the ECEs in the nursery at church. I think he will probably be just fine, and have a great time. It will be good for him to socialize too.

After that we headed over to his music class which is just a bit further up the street. He had a great time despite being very tired. He played the glockenspiel and sang and ran around and played with his friends. After that we had to rush to the bank which thankfully was also close by for an appt to open up Skyler's youth account, RESP and RDSP. His RESP is his education savings plan, so that by the time he's old enough to go to post secondary the money is there for him if he wants it. We made it a family plan so that if he decides not to go to school his sibling(s) can use it. The RDSP is a savings plan for the disabled. That one can only be in his name, but it can be used for other things aside from school and it gives him a cushion if he's having a hard tim getting a job or something when he's grown up.

At the appointment he started to get very tired, and thirsty and cranky. He got to the point where he was screaming his head off. Until daddy took him to a store and bought him some apple juice. That calmed him down for a bit, until he inhaled it and puked in the bank advisor guy's office. Yeah I felt a bit bad about that one, but the guy said he had a three year old so he wasn't too phased by it. He brushed it off and was cool about it, but I'm sure he was probably relieved when we finally got out of there.

Then from there we went straight to pick up some sushi, stopped to eat in the parking lot at C's work because it was on the way to our next stop. After eating we went to a college downtown. I'm sure I mentioned a long while back that Skyler had a photo shoot. Well tonight the gallery opened where his photos were displayed. We wandered around the building for a while lost until we realized it was in a different, but attached building. We finally found our way there, and as we got out of the elevator and headed into the gallery, the very first thing we saw greeting us as we walked in was a huge gorgeous photo of our son. She put his pictures right at the entrance so he was the first thing you see when you walk in. Tears filled my eyes.

It was beautiful. The gallery had five different people's stories. Each one was about someone living with vision loss/impairment, and how they weren't broken or weak or anything like that, but how they were alive. She had interviewed me when she did the photo shoot, and I was touched by the essay she wrote about us. There was a couple pictures of Skyler and me together, but the best picture was the big one of him. It took my breath away. It was moving for me watching people come in and read about my baby, and ooh and aww at his pictures. The people who were there when we were saw him dancing by his picture and commented on how beautiful he was in real life and how he was such a darling etc. The photographer who did the essay was nice enough to let us take some pictures of her work.

After that we went to Wa.l Ma.rt for some random stuff. They're turning it into a super centre. It will be the first one in our city, it's weird because everything is all over the place. Anyway after that we finally came home!

I have more to tell you about his SLP yesterday, and my anxiety disorder, but that can probably wait until tomorrow. Now it's time for some well deserved relaxation time.

36 Weeks

2011-02-09T15:00:00.005-06:00

So I had my OB appt today, from now on I have them every Wednesday until this little guy comes out of me. Let me tell you about my appointment. We got there about ten minutes before 10 am. My appointment wasn't until 10:15 so Skyler was just wandering off as there were no chairs available (it was way more packed than usual) when they called my name. We had been there maybe a total of 45 seconds. So we went into the room, the nurse weighed me and handed me a sheet telling me I needed to be "changed" from the waist down. Funny way of putting it but, whatever I just took off my pants. No sooner had I taken them off than my OB was in the room. I actually tossed my pants over to C from the table.

She did the usual blood pressure, feeling up my uterus, listen to the heartbeat etc. Then she swabbed for strep B and checked my cervix. Baby's head is down and ready to go, my cervix is still closed. So all is looking good there. Then the next part, the best part. Since I've never made it full term or delivered at this hospital I asked a few questions.

-Is it routine to have an I.V. when giving birth? No. Certainly not.
-Will I have to give birth laying on my back in that gawdawful position? Heavens no, you can be in any position you want!
-Can I bring my own music from home? Yes of course.

And she asked me if I was able to breastfeed Skyler when he was born. I said yes & no, that he had been on bottles of pumped milk with formula as well as the breast because he was so tiny, but that it was my dream to be able to breastfeed this one right away. She said of course I'd be able to do that. And that this time would much different for me, way more relaxed. We left the appointment at 10 am, 15 minutes before it was even scheduled to begin!

I can't wait now for labour. Those things were worrying me, they weighed on my mind last night. I woke up early this morning thinking about them and wasn't able to go back to sleep. But my mind feels easy now. As long as baby/labour doesn't have complications I'm finally going to get a positive birth experience. I've already been practicing my meditation for labour. I managed to meditate through 21 hours of labour with Skyler without a single pain med, no screaming, no swearing nothing. So I am hoping that I can do that this time as well.

OH and the very best part of all, that I almost forgot about. She said I'm full term now!! I thought it was next week, but she said I am ready to go anytime now, no more OR, no more at risk, no preemie. So I'm ready, bring it on baby!

(just watch him stay in there til 42 weeks or something now.. lol)

Wrap

2011-02-07T22:27:00.002-06:00

Skyler and I trying out the new wrap! Despite the look on his face he actually really likes it. When I took him out of it he got really mad and started crying for "up" and "zing" (which is how he says sling). It looks a little funny mainly because of my huge belly, but it fits nicely and it spreads the weight evenly so I'm not even killing my body carrying him around. And yes I am gigantic! But it's all in my tummy now, I don't feel like I have as much flab in the rest of my body anymore. I've been working out every day since I got the stationary bike. I love it! Probably the best $100 I spent on my own fitness ever. Even if I don't lose a ton of weight or anything at least I know my heart is in better shape with all the cardio I'm doing.

Oh and there's only one more week before I'm no longer considered high risk! I'm excited.

Long Day, But Satisfying

2011-02-06T00:41:00.002-06:00

So things have gotten better, or gone sideways a bit since I last posted. Skyler has gotten much better, though he puked today from choking on his waffle because the kid thinks he should be able to eat like a snake and just unhinge his jaw to swallow an entire quarter of a waffle at once. Aside from him no longer being sick, he has begun this screaming thing that is driving us all nuts. He's usually pretty calm, and though he has started to really use a lot more words and different forms of communication he occasionally will show his two year old impatience. He forgets that he knows words, or any way of communicating and instead wails at the top of his lungs. I think it's mostly a combination of him being tired, impatient, hungry etc when he starts doing this.

He hasn't wanted to sleep at night since he was sick. He's been weaning himself off the bottle which is great on one hand, on the other, he's been unable to figure out how to fall asleep on his own and has been irate about it. C managed to get him to sleep the last couple days since he's been home from work in the evenings. It's been so much easier with him here, and I'm going to miss him tomorrow night when he works until close again. Today he only had to go to work for 5 hours so Skyler and I decided to go with him for something to do. I spent the day handwashing several huge drink machines while watching Skyler. He mostly swept the floor in the back room. It was adorable. I think we're all worn out from all the hard work we did today.

And then after getting home I started work on my latest project: a new baby carrier! I made a wrap style baby carrier out of 100% cotton gauze. It's lovely, it's so lightweight and breathable. It's a very simple project to make, it just takes forever to hem because it's 5 metres of fabric. I tried it on after finishing the hem and I love the way it feels. There are so many different ways of wearing the wrap, I'm excited to try them all. I like that you can wrap it so that it covers both shoulders and distributes the weight evenly. Next project will likely be a ring sling, I'm excited to try making one of those next. I'm on some sort of baby carrier kick it seems. Once I finish my ring sling I'll have three different kinds of carriers. I think it will be great because I can experiment and find which ones work best for us.

I even popped Skyler into the pouch sling (the one that I made) today while we were at C's work. He was hugging my legs and asking for up so I put him in the nice soft lined carrier. He actually really loved it. I thought he might be annoyed because he's two and likes to walk around, but he was feeling cuddly and he just snuggled up to me and repeated the word "sling" over and over with a smile. So I guess he hasn't outgrown being worn in a sling, which is awesome.

I think the cutest part of our day was when Skyler went on his lunch break after a long stretch of sweeping.

It Can Only Get Better Right?

2011-02-01T17:50:00.004-06:00

It's been a while since I posted last. I haven't even opened my laptop in several days. I'm feeling pretty good about that. I've been working on a stress and relaxation workbook which boy have I needed it the last few days. Skyler came down with something Sunday night and has been puking and had the dreaded "d" word and a fever to go along with it. He woke up and was hungry this morning and we gave him a cereal bar. He hasn't been able to hold down a thing in the last two days. He gobbled it up so fast, poor little thing, too bad it came right back up onto C's pillow. We've washed 5 loads of laundry in the last 2 days, and Skyler's had 5 or 6 baths. We've been giving him pedialyte since the puking started. Along with all his meds and tylenol which has been keeping the fever down.

It hasn't been easy, and you know me I'm always worrying about my little one. He's napping right now and I hope he's going to feel better by tomorrow, because I'm starting to feel sick now, and C took the last two days off work to help me with Skyler so he's back at work tonight, we can't afford for him to take more time off and I'm not sure how well I will cope if both Sky and I are sick at the same time and C is at work. One of our friends said she'd check in on me tonight and see how I'm doing once she finishes work, so I do have some support. I was going to call my mom too, but now that he is sleeping for a bit I am going to relax, maybe do some more of those meditation techniques I've been learning.

I hope you guys are having a better week than I am!

Happy Birthday to me

2011-01-27T00:05:00.002-06:00

Haha okay so technically it is past midnight now on the 27th, so my birthday is over. But it was a great day. Skyler said happy birthday to me last night at midnight (sounded like ha-ee duday) and that was amazing. He stayed up and partied with us, we sat on the floor and ate junk food (tortilla chips and popcorn) and drank juice mixed with spri.te in wine glasses. That was fabulous. Then when we woke up in the morning on the 26th we made chocolate chip pancakes, and the moving company delivered our new dishwasher and C did all the dishes and made our kitchen spotless.

Then he picked up some icecream and we made chocolate milkshakes, and after that we were off to his mom's restaurant for lunch. We had chicken wraps and coleslaw, and then cake. And his mom shared her birthday cake and sent us home with four pieces (yes I share a birthday with my MIL) and after that we headed off to my mom's house for dinner. We had two different kinds of pizza followed by cheesecake. So I've been eating like a piggy all day, which I haven't done in a long time. I've been trying to stick to whole wheat bagels and fruits and veggies lately, but hey it was my birthday if you can't indulge on your birthday then when can you?

Skyler has been great lately (aside from his not sleeping as well as usual. He keeps waking up in the middle of the night wanting to play) he is talking up a storm! Not everything is understandable, but he repeats so much more now than ever before. He sings along with his preschool music CD, and he sings with me, and on his own. He apparently likes Buf.fy the Vampire Slayer. I tried to put it on after he had gone to bed, but he wandered out of his room and pulled up a stool in front of the tv to sit and watch with me. And I'm pretty sure he tried to repeat a "bloody hell" from Spike. Oops. Ah well we all go through the British Vamp phase at some point right? Better Spike than Edwar.d. Haha.

Oh and last night we had Skyler in our bed, snuggling and he was saying one of his new favourite words "okay" so daddy says he sounds like Ms Swan from SNL. And so C does his impression of Ms Swan "okay okay, I tell you 18." or whatever it is she says, and Skyler perfectly repeated it. I cracked up. He's just starting to say sentences and a lot of what he says is garbled, but this was pretty clear and funny.

I've noticed he wants to snuggle more, my child has always been very much on the go and never still for a moment. If I lay down with him in my bed or his bed, he's all over the place, climbing me, kicking, jumping on the bed, poking me in the eye and saying "eye" etc. He's always hated blankets and would kick them off if they dared to touch him. He's never liked a stuffed animal or toy to bring to bed. But lately he will lie down with me for a few moments before getting up to bounce on my baby belly or check out my hair. And since C made him a chenille blanket like mine, he curls up with it on his own at night and snuggles under it. And when I went in the other morning to wake him, he was snuggled under his blankie, with his baby doll next to him. He's been carrying his baby around lately (by the head mind you) and kissing him and feeding him with a bottle. It's just precious.

Anyway it was a lovely day. There was lots of family, tons of food, and lots of hugs and kisses from my little one. And even though I didn't get in my usual 20 minute bike ride, I'm okay with that, it was a very special day.

34 Weeks (ish)

2011-01-22T16:38:00.003-06:00

I'm as big as a house, and I'm definitely feeling it. Lately I haven't wanted to look in a mirror, let alone be in a picture, but I got up the courage today to put on my dress, the only one I have that will fit over this baby belly. I made it that way on purpose. And I managed to make myself feel pretty for the first time in a while. And I just wanted to share that with you.

Crochet & Commentary

2011-01-17T11:28:00.002-06:00

Things here are going good. I'm adjusting to not working. So far I've crocheted a new hat, a pair of slippers and two granny squares, that's just in the last two days. I figured I'd need slippers for the hospital when I go in to have the baby. I don't want my socks on the icky hospital floor after I give birth and I know I won't want to wear my runners. It was my first time making slippers. The first one turned out a little odd because the pattern wasn't very specific. The second one I fixed on my own since I realized the first one was wonky. The second one actually turned out really cute, they're ballet style slippers and I made them in a red yarn that I had lying around.

After that I guess I got on a crochet kick cause I realized I have soo much yarn in my craft closet and I should start using it up. So I'm making a baby afghan in shades of blue and white. I'm not sure what I'll do with it when it's done. Use it for the new baby or maybe donate it to the children's hospital or something. This will be my first granny square blanket. I've always just done blankets in regular rows. I wish I knew other people who crocheted, I could do a square swap.

In other news last night C got a call from a girl he works with. She was complaining about another employee who was annoying her all night long. Apparently on top of ticking off this girl, he also said some rude things about Skyler. C's brought him in to work before so most of the employees have seen him. Anyway this kid is just a teenager, so I guess it's part of being an ignorant kid, but he said something like "why are his eyes so weird, no one's ever going to take him seriously when he grows up if his eyes are all over the place." Needless to say though C was not happy, and neither am I. Honestly if someone has a sincere question and is curious about my son I will gladly explain it to them and so would C. I find it utterly rude and disrespectful for people to be talking about my son and his eye condition behind our backs to other people. He knows nothing about our son, but of course feels the need to make judgements.

This incident just reminded me of how much crap my son is going to have to put up with as he grows up. I can only hope we teach him how to handle the comments and stares gracefully and not take it to heart.

Down Syndrome: A Reason to Abort?

2011-01-12T16:00:00.004-06:00

Stories like this one annoy me..

http://www.cbc.ca/health/story/2011/01/12/down-syndrome-dna-blood-screening.html#socialcomments-submit

I'm glad they're going to be able to easier test for conditions like Down syndrome. But it angers me at the same time, that they have this little tidbit in the article:

"As yet, the results are not accurate enough to inform important decisions, like whether to continue the pregnancy," added Professor Lyn Chitty of University College London, who is also testing the DNA blood tests for Down, said on the university's website.

Why do people get pregnant if they know there is a risk of having a special needs child (and there ALWAYS is) and then decide that if their child is different/special needs they are going to abort it?? How is that fair? If you aren't guaranteed your idea of a perfect child well then kill it before it's born problem solved?? UGH. If you aren't ready to love your child unconditionally then maybe you aren't ready for a child at all. Yes, it is harder when your child has special needs I won't deny it, but this is my baby I would do anything for him!

Don't get me wrong I am not arguing about abortion here or saying that I am pro-life or whatever, just the idea that it is assumed that if one is pregnant with a special needs child that they should abort it and be done with it. There was no way to tell that Skyler would have septo-optic dysplasia while I was pregnant. They could have tested him for Down syndrome, and spina bifida and whatever else and told me "he's healthy/'normal'" whatever and he still would have come out with special needs. Had they somehow detected it in utero would I have said nevermind I'm not going to bother with him? Hell no. I declined all those tests knowing that whatever happened, he was my baby. I didn't care if he was going to be born with two heads there was no way I'd consider abortion unless he was going to kill me for certain (like pre-eclampsia) or suffer immensely and then die at birth or something.

I'm not opposed to prenatal testing. If it helps some women prepare for the birth of their child then excellent. I just wish it wasn't used as a screening device to decide whether or not to let the child live based on the idea that the child is not going to be the parent's vision of perfection. I find this just as absurd as the idea that if it's a girl and you wanted a boy then it's okay to abort it.

Wow I have ranted a bit there.. I understand we all have different opinions and I respect that, so tell me how do you feel about it? Is it okay to decide that if your child isn't the way you want them to be, then abortion might be the right option for you?

Language

2011-01-09T05:11:00.002-06:00

Today is January ninth. Just barely. It was this day two years ago that we finally got to bring home our (no longer brand new) baby after two months of being in a plastic box in the NICU. Today I sit here and I feel the baby-to-be kicking my laptop as it rests on my tummy. I wonder what this little one's future will hold for us. I wonder if he'll spend time in that terrible yet lifesaving place. Tomorrow I will reach the 32 week mark, we've just past the furthest point I reached in pregnancy with Skyler. I hope he holds out a lot longer, and that his birth is without complications. Who knows what the future will hold though.

Yesterday we spent the day cleaning out the apartment. We got so much more done with the two of us than I could do on my own. Skyler's room is usable now, our room is soo much nicer. We got rid of a couple more things that have been sitting around collecting dust. I sold Skyler's old exersaucer on ki.ji.ji and we sent the old high chair to C's parents place since it's huge, it just takes up too much space. His mom said she'd be happy to take it since all the grandkids can use it when they visit. Right now there's just Skyler, but soon his brother will be joining him and C has 3 sisters who are all in relationships so there may be more grandchildren in the future.

Right now I am tired, it's the second time I've had to get up with Sky tonight. I don't know why he's been waking up crying randomly tonight. I just go in and change his diaper and make sure he is okay and give him some more water and he goes right back to sleep. I sort of wish I had more help from someone.. He doesn't seem to realize how drained I am from just being pregnant. I guess guys don't always get it because they don't go through it.. I don't know. I do know that I am lucky with my little guy, tonight or last night really at about 8:40 he was still up and wandering around. I said "Skyler go to bed, it's late." I didn't even have to get up. Off he waddled to his room and put himself to bed. What an easy child sometimes. I am blessed.

He's been repeating everything. I love it. He's said so many new words. I just wish they sounded more like the words he's trying to say. I'm not sure why he is lacking sounds. The other day I was laying on his bed with him and I went to change his diaper, I said "bye bye diaper" and he repeated me in the same intonation "die die" over and over, and waved. I know he was saying "bye bye" but I don't get why he can't make the "B" sound. I know that some sounds you learn visually, by watching other people make them, and he missed out on that for the first part of his life because his vision just wasn't there. So I try as often as possible to get in his face so he can see my lips move as I say certain letters, but he still says "gaga" or "craca" or "deh" for pretty much everything. Maybe he will figure it out with time, I'm not sure. At least we have SLP coming on Wednesday for the first time since his brief intervention visit. Maybe she will have some insight that can help us.

My favourite new thing that he says though is "yeah, cool" he heard one of us saying this on the phone last week and now he repeats it, but it sounds like "Yeh, coo." It's pretty cute and it cracks me up. He also says good, and goof. I sort of feel bad on this one because whenever he's being silly I say "you're such a goof!" with a giggle and give him a kiss, now he repeats it and says "goo!". Sometimes he'll make the f sound, sort of, but usually not. Ah well I know he may not be speaking perfectly but he sure has come a long way, even in just the last couple weeks. For a while there I was getting really worried about his speech. But you can tell his receptive language is definitely there, he's just starting to get the hang of the expressive language. Well I am going to try to go back to sleep for another couple hours.

Oh and in answer to Ya Chun on my last post, because I'm no longer working there, I don't think my gym membership is active, plus it can be a pain in the butt to drag Sky over there, and C works all the time so it's just me and the little guy for the majority of the day.

Good night! Or morning as it were..

Healthier Living

2011-01-07T00:53:00.004-06:00

I've started this health thing over the last week. I read on the CBC news website that Canadians aren't as healthy as they think. I realized that I don't even do the minimum amount of exercise they recommend each day. Where I live the winter is long, like dreadfully long and cold. It's next to impossible to take a toddler out in this weather and get exercise without causing him frostbite. So I stay inside and go stir crazy. In light of realizing how out of shape I am (plus I took a picture of Skyler in the sling I made and realized that I am getting a second chin!) we went and got a stationary bike. Now I can actually try to get some exercise without ever having to leave the apartment. I've been using it for 10-20 mins a day, and I'm feeling a bit more energetic since I've started.

Today we finally went grocery shopping and I picked up a bunch of healthier items. I've decided we don't need to eat so much "white" food. Instead of white bread we bought whole wheat and multigrain, instead of white crackers we got whole wheat etc. I bought a tub of vanilla yogurt and a bunch of frozen fruit because lately I've discovered how easy it is to make smoothies at home. We got one a week or so back at Booster Juice in the mall and Skyler loved it. Now it's my sneaky way of getting fruit & dairy into him when he's being a picky toddler as he often is. They're so easy to make at home and much cheaper too. I throw in a banana, some frozen berries a bit of yogurt, some milk and hit the smoothie button on the blender and that's it. I put it in a cup with a straw and Skyler goes to town.

We brought home our groceries in two cardboard boxes. The store we shop at lets you reuse the boxes the food is shipped in for free. So sometimes when we forget our reusable bags we get boxes. When we got home Skyler took every item out of one of the boxes, one by one and put it on the floor so he could climb into the box. I think I spent most of the night pushing him around and making choo choo sounds. He loved it. It was so cute. He's been picking up so many new words lately, even today alone he repeated so many new things (too bad they all sound the same, as most of his consonant sounds are missing) including the word "mine" (which sounds like nine) this morning when he hoarded our comforter from us during morning snuggles. It was adorable. I can't wait for the "mine" stage, it seems to be starting and I'm okay with it. Every typical two year old goes through it, it means he's rather typical and I kind of like that. We'll see if I still feel the same in a couple months haha.

31 Weeks

2011-01-04T10:21:00.004-06:00

Time is just flying by it seems. I've made it to 31 weeks as of today. Skyler was born at 31 weeks 5 days. I'm sure every pregnancy is different and hopefully this one will go much longer, but I can't help but feel that if I can make it past Friday I might breathe a little sigh of relief. I've been working on getting things ready for this little one, and making life less cluttered for the three of us. I managed to get a whole lot of things into the hallway to donate or sell, but they're too heavy for me to carry to the car and someone has yet to make good on his promise to drop them off.

Yesterday and the day before there was a huge sale at Fabr.icland. Which used to be one of my favourite stores, but now I think it's C's favourite store. When he walks in the clerks light up, they recognize our family on sight. They always ask him what crazy project he's working on now (gorgeous curtains for our bedroom, I love them!). It's kind of funny. Anyway I picked up some twill and some chenille with cute little hearts on it. And I set to sewing some new things for the baby. I made 2 pouch slings. I remember using the store bought one for Skyler when he was little (well I would still use it if I wasn't pregnant actually) and how nice it was to have him so close, and much easier to use than a baby carrier with straps. I remember when I bought it too, there were other ones there with a nice soft chenille lining in them, but I decided to go with a plain one because chenille would be too warm in the summer months. And I could only afford one sling since they were upwards of $60-$70.

This time around I figured that since I'm making them I could make a few with the nice soft warm lining for the baby to use in the winter and then a couple without for summer time. In the end each sling cost me $7 to make with the lining, and $3 without. Not too shabby for something I paid $70 for a few years back. Plus they look super cute and feel really soft inside. The first one I made a bit too small, my measurements were off a bit I guess. It still fits, but I'm probably not going to be able to use it past the first winter which is fine. So I made a second one that's a bit bigger for the next winter. I tested the tiny one and Skyler fit in it, so it can't be that small. Then again he is pretty little for a 2 year old.

The picture really doesn't do it justice :)

Yesterday morning we took Sky to a play group since it's been -35 degrees celcius around here for the last week or so and there's no playing outside in that kind of weather, I'm going a bit stir crazy. So there's this playgroup called the Indoor Playground which I used to take N to back when I was a nanny. They have a downstairs with dramatic play areas and craft & circle time areas, and an upstairs with a big gym with riding toys and a structure. We decided to take Skyler to it, he seemed to enjoy it quite a bit. He got to wander around and play with all the toys. His favourite was the washing machine/dryer combo. He is definitely his daddy's boy. He also liked the big toy house that he could open the windows and doors and walk into and out of. And he liked pointing at the other kids. Sometimes I could get him to wave other times all he wanted to do was point. Strange child of mine.

I hope you all had a great new year's eve/day. Skyler and I woke up on New Year's day and snuggled up in a home made blanket together and just cuddled. It was the best start to a new year I could ever have hoped for. I hope yours was just as lovely.

Happy New Year!

2010-12-31T19:06:00.003-06:00

It's 7pm here, so not quite new years yet, but I wanted to wish you all a happy new years before I forget. I hope 2011 is a year full of hope and dreams come true for everyone, as sappy as that sounds I mean it.

Low Risk? Maybe Eventually

2010-12-29T12:16:00.002-06:00

I had another OB appointment today, soon they will be every week. My blood work came back perfect, glucose and iron are right where they should be apparently. And my OB gave me the good news that if I can make it to 37 weeks I'll no longer be considered high risk and I can give birth in "a fancy birthing suite" as she put it. So that's my new goal with this baby, I know he'll decide when to come, but at the same time I'm hoping I can encourage him to stay in there until 37 weeks! I want a nice birth not in a sterile OR this time. I got a number to call for a tour of the maternity hospital since I didn't manage to go for one last time. And I had to reschedule my next appointment because Skyler has his first meeting with the new SLP (speech language pathologist) and C is going to be in court testifying. He witnessed some guy who stole a truck and got involved in a high speed chase with the cops.

After my appointment we went to the mall to see if we could upgrade my phone since I've had it since I was pregnant with Skyler and it's a hunk of junk. C got a blackberry for christmas, so I guess I have been a bit jealous. Unfortunately they said that I can't get out of my contract so no blackberry for me. After that we stopped by the play place in the mall. Skyler loved it. He hasn't been there since he was too small to enjoy it. Tonight I plan on going through all of Skyler's stuff and the baby's stuff and get it all sorted out. I want to put some in a donation pile, and organize the rest so he doesn't have to much clutter. I'm also going to put the bedding in the crib and the baby's clothes in his brand new drawers.

Skyler Bakes

2010-12-26T13:53:00.005-06:00

For Christmas from my in-laws I asked for mini-muffin tins because they're just so cute! So here is Skyler (with hilarious bedhead hair) making his first batch of banana muffins today:

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T08:16:00.002-06:00

The Cold That Doesn't End

2010-12-22T21:49:00.003-06:00

Hah! You're going to laugh at this one. Or not believe me at all, whichever. My horrible cold turned ear infection, spread from one ear to the other, and also into my eyes. The puddle of water in my eyes turned into goo, which crusted my eyes shut yesterday morning, that was a fun one. I actually wandered around my home at 5am with my eyes crusted shut using all the techniques I've learned from working with people who are blind. I found that in my own home I am quite able to get up go to the bathroom, get the water pitcher from the fridge pour myself a glass of water and put it back away all without seeing a thing. And I didn't spill a drop, so there's something.

This is officially been the worst cold I have ever had in my life. I never get ear infections. I went to my NP, who checked me out and said it's early to tell if it's viral or bacterial, but she wrote me a scrip for antibiotics (which she said that there are no truly "safe" without any risks during pregnancy antibiotics) and said that I should probably wait a few days and if it starts to get worse, then go fill the scrip, and if not then just wait for it to pass. So I am waiting. The pain in my ears has gotten much better thankfully (I would have lost my mind if it hadn't) though the pressure is still there, and it gets worse when I blow my nose which is unfortunately quite frequently with this cold still here. My eyes were less crusty today, so I am hoping they are getting better. The NP took swabs of the goo, but I don't have any results yet. It's probably just an excess of mucus hopefully.

In good news, today was my last day of work. Last night we celebrated Yule/Winter solstice and aside from me being exhausted and wiped out from being sick and not being able to hear much, it was a great night. My brother even showed up and he has never been to my place and I've been here for like 2 years. So that was good. Lots of good food, good friends, good fun. On Christmas eve we're going to C's family celebration, then Christmas day will be spent with my mom. I'm excited but at the same time I am already feeling worn out from this virus coupled with pregnancy so I'm hoping it passes by without too much stress.

Skyler's communication really seems to be coming along. His receptive language is awesome, he really does seem to understand what we are saying almost all of the time. AND today I was on the couch relaxing for a moment after I got home from work, when he comes toddling down the hall and hands me his body wash from the bathroom. I looked at him and I said "oh you brought me your soap. Do you want a bath?" and he said "Bath time!" of course it sounded more like "da eh" or something to that effect, but I'm pretty sure he was trying to say bath time. Anyway I stripped him down and gave him a bath which he was happy to have. Later on he came up to me signing away with "more" asking for something. At one point he pulled a bag of chocolates out of a gift bag he found from last night and brought them to me because he wanted one. I love that he is trying his best to let me know what he wants. And he's succeeding a lot! It's making things much less frustrating for all of us.

What Next?

2010-12-19T08:05:00.003-06:00

Remember my terrible cold? Well it's only gotten worse. It's reminded me that there are worse things than a sore throat such as ear infection. Now there is a pain I'd never like to feel again. I went through breaking my arm in half and waiting five hours with no pain killers, not a single tear. 20 some hours of labour with Skyler, not a peep from me, but last night when that ear ache struck I wanted to throw myself off a bridge. If it weren't for the fact that I have way too much to live for. What a terrible pain my lord. C had to come home from work to bring me Tylenol which my OB said I could have. And it did absolutely nothing for me. I ended up having him get me some ear drops, which the pharmacist said I could have.. He better be right.. Those finally let me get some sleep and by some sleep I mean like 2 or 3 hours at most which is all I've been getting any night this week because of this cold. Oh and to top it all off I woke up with a nice puddle of water around my eye this morning.

The only reason I woke up so early (well aside from all the mucus and pain) is someone from C's work called in and I was sleeping in the living room and heard the message on the answering machine. C manages on Sundays so if something is wrong they call him. Apparently the guy opening slept in, yet again and the other guy who opens with him was stuck with no way of opening the store so even though C was supposed to start work at 2pm and we were supposed to go to church today to see the winter pageant, he is at work now. I'm not sure if he will decide to stay and work til 3 or if the kid who was supposed to show up in the first place will come in and he'll be able to leave.

Anyway enough ranting for now, the other night Skyler finally said his first 2 word sentence!! He woke up in the middle of the night of course, wandered into the hallway climbed into the carseat (the one in the picture from my last post.) which is his new favourite spot by the way, and he said "Go car!" it was soo cute and exciting. He repeated it several times. Even though it was 3am we were half tempted to take him out in the car for a ride just cause we were that excited. And once he finished with the car seat, he got up and climbed onto daddy's tool box in front of the closet door and started trying to open the door. The first time he's actually climbed up onto something aside from the couch or the stairs and stood on it. He also is able to climb up onto his little chairs that go with his chair and table set now. He stands on them! Slightly scary for mommy, but he always sits down when I say "on your bum please". Aside from him being sick like me, he's doing quite well. His development seems to coming along. Which is good news.

Winter Cold

2010-12-17T21:46:00.003-06:00

Ugh I have this terrible headcold. Worst of all it came prepackaged with a killer sore throat which is my most hated part of any cold. And my head is so unbelievably stuffed up that it won't stop pounding. The most sleep I get at any one period is about an hour. All night long it's sleep an hour, wake up, cough, blow my nose, etc etc, finally fall back asleep and then wake up again. Poor little Skyler has it too, but he seems to be faring better than I am thankfully.

Here's hoping it goes away in time for next week. We're having our winter solstice celebration on the 21st of course and we're hosting it like usual. So there's lots of planning and baking/cooking to be done. I'm making a chocolate trifle. And I better be able to taste it.

We ordered a case of size one diapers a couple days ago in anticipation of this little ones arrival. I know we still have a couple months to go, but if this baby is impatient as the last one I don't want to be caught off guard. So as we were putting away some things in the storage room I guess we ran out of room because C put Skyler's rear-facing infant car sear on the floor in the hallway. Today while C was sewing some new curtains for Skyler's room I wandered down the hallway to see what Sky was up to, and I found him curled up in the baby's carseat. Too cute.

And an extremely rare shot of him wearing his glasses.

Update

2010-12-13T23:14:00.003-06:00

The OB today said I shouldn't worry too much that it's not uncommon for women to experience a strange feeling like their baby is having seizures. She thinks the baby is doing some sort of weird exercise thing. I still think it feels suspicious, but there's not much we can do if the baby is having seizures, not until it's born anyway so it's probably best to stay calm until then. Also I need to decide if it's safe for me to continue working. The little one I work one on one with is occassionally violent and in fact a few weeks ago she kicked my coworker hard in the stomach. My doctor suggested I could wear some sort of padding around my stomach, but I have no idea where I would find such a thing.. Either that or not work with the girl. The thing is I don't have a job otherwise. So now it's time to think about what I'm going to do.. If I decide to risk it and work for January because we need the extra money or stop and make do with what we'll have.

I scheduled my next appointments, all of them up until the day of my due date. She wants to see me every two weeks now for a month and then every week up until the baby is born because of everything, to keep an eye on things. I really do love my OB she is great. They scheduled me an appointment on my birthday and my OB is away that week, so I'm seeing another doctor in her practice. I turned to Chuck in the car and said "Just watch the baby will decide to be born the week that my OB is away". I was sent for blood work today too. It was in the basement of the building and fortunately didn't take too long. The lab tech was super nice too, I felt like a jerk asking if she could change her gloves, but she said she didn't mind and that she's a germophobe so she asks people the same thing. That made me feel better. I just don't like the thought that maybe she forgot to change them or something. Last thing I need is an infection or something.

So yesterday morning when Skyler decided that he didn't need to sleep I taught him to consistently sign "more". He hasn't been signing much in the past year, but we've picked it back up. So he was sitting on the couch with me and I found the secret to getting him to sign was to simply give him an M&M whenever he signed for more. Except now he thinks that every time he's on the couch and he signs "more" he'll get an M&M. Probably not the healthiest thing to give him but whatever, it made him happy and he started signing again. It's not like I give him candy often.

Today though the poor kid has been sick. His nose hasn't stopped running and he's been a bit warm (not a fever, but not normal temperature either) and I've started coughing and am getting a sore throat too. He started puking this evening before bed too, fun times. I managed to step in about 4 puddles of puke, caught one in my hands, and wiped another off the couch. Thankfully after his last dose of stress pred he put himself to bed and hasn't puked since then (not yet anyway, fingers crossed). And I have to go back to work tomorrow. Honestly I'm not looking forward to waking up early. I haven't had nearly enough sleep in the last 6 days and now I'm coming down with something too. Ick.

I'm going to try to keep my mind off the weird movements that baby was doing, though today he's hardly moved at all which also has me worried (of course). Hopefully I am just paranoid.

It's Always Something..

2010-12-13T04:10:00.002-06:00

I know I try to keep things light around here and I'm usually rather positive, but it's 4am I've been up with Skyler since 2, and I think he may have possibly gone back to sleep maybe (fingers crossed) and I'm feeling rather sleep deprived. What's on my mind is baby number two. I feel him moving around in there quite a lot now but over the last few days I've started to feel something other than kicking/punching and hiccups.. It feels like a rapid, shaking, convulsing kind of movement. It happens in two places usually, at the same time. Like his top half and his bottom half are both doing it at once. It's too fast to be hiccups and it feels different, and it's much too fast to be kicking. I never had that feeling with Skyler.. To be honest it feels like I imagine a seizure would feel like.

I have an appointment with my OB in the morning so obviously I'm going to tell her then. I'm just freaking out a bit and since someone else won't let me sleep I felt the need to vent. (Skyler is definitely not sleeping.. sigh) I'm not sure what to do, I've googled fetal seizures and the things I'm finding are not reassuring, the case studies done on it say that the prognosis is poor. Some posts say it could be the uterus spasming, but it doesn't feel like that to me. Here's hoping I'm wrong. There's a chance that this baby has CNS abnormalities, if he is seizing in the womb. One of the reasons I'm worried is because what Skyler has can cause seizures. We just got lucky with him and he has never had one. And though the ultrasound showed that this baby seems healthy, there's no way of knowing for sure because the area of the brain they need to see is too small until sometime after birth.

I know that I said going into this that I wasn't afraid of this baby having special needs.. I know that if he does we won't love him any less.. I just really was hoping for a break. Or at least that he'd have the same type of thing as Skyler, something known is less scary I guess. And I know that he may have what Skyler has, but just a worse version of it if he's seizing already. I'm just freaking out a bit because seizures are scary and it could signal something much worse. Here's hoping I'm just being hormonal and paranoid.. I guess I'll have a better idea in the morning when I see my OB.

Workshops Can Be Fun!

2010-12-09T07:19:00.005-06:00

Good Morning

Of course on the one day that I don't actually need to wake up at 7am I am awake at 6:30, so here I am writing a post since I can't seem to get back to sleep. Yesterday instead of going to work I got to go to a workshop at the CNIB. It was actually the most fun I've ever had at a workshop. It was a whole day of learning how to make tactile books for visually impaired and blind children. The CNIB had brought in a class of grade 12 students from a local highschool (who apparently now require 40 hours of volunteer work to graduate, so they were there for credits) and put them to work making books for children 6 and under who have visual impairments.

Our son's OT had asked if I would be interested in going a few weeks back and of course I jumped on the opportunity. When I got there she told me she forgot to mention that the volunteer coordinator running it was hoping I'd speak to the kids about the importance of tactile books for the visually impaired from the perspective of a parent. I said of course I would say a few things. Now I'm not sure if you know, but I have panic attack disorder, and I usually keep it under control but speaking in front of people without much prep kind of triggers my panic reflexes. I was okay for the first few seconds and then I kind of started babbling a bit, but I think I made it through without too much confusion and I know I did much better than I would have a few years ago.

After that awkwardness was out of the way, and they had finished explaining how to make the books we got to work. There was a table loaded with craft stuff! I was in heaven. I think I've replaced scrapbooking in my art closet. At first I was a bit overwhelmed and couldn't decide what to make so I did a very simple counting book that will be useful for the little girl I work with (it's all tactile, and very simple so someone without any sight at all can use it) and then once I got into a groove I decided to try something more creative and I started to come up with some better ideas.

There was one other girl there about my age who was an inclusion worker with a low vision child as well, so her and I and our OT sat together and I chatted with her while I worked. It was actually kind of cool being there as a parent, I had a unique perspective and everyone in the room came to me to ask if what they were doing would be suitable for a blind child. I was like some sort of expert, haha. All the books made by the highschool students were to be kept by the CNIB and used by people like my OT to bring out on visits with their clients. Except for me and the other inclusion worker, our OT said we might as well keep our books since we work/live with their clients anyway. Though the OT asked if I could pretty please make her some books to use as well because she loved mine.

The second book I made specifically with Skyler in mind, and I loved how that allowed me to tailor it specifically to his interests and abilities. After the workshop was over I stayed to help clean up and the volunteer coordinator asked if she could do a videotaped interview with me. This time I was much less nervous, all those high school kids had left and it was just me and her. I showed off my book and talked about making it and what I got out of the workshop. I mentioned how it's important in a book for a totally blind child to use very simple illustrations because what might look interesting to us can be very confusing to someone who can't see. She then pointed out that my book was actually rather complex, and I said that that was the beauty of being able to make it for my specific child, it meant I was able to put together something that would be challenging and interesting for him since he does have some sight. All in all it was a great experience, and if you like crafts I would suggest you give it a try cause it's a lot of fun.

And here for your viewing pleasure is Skyler's newest tactile book. I've titled it "Find the Button" and the object here is you guessed it, to find the button on each page.

A foam flower shaped piece with a button in the middle, the stem is a chenille stem and the leaves are microfibre

The tree top is felt, the apples are a broadcloth type material, and one button. The trunk is corregated cardboard and the grass is like that astroturf kind of stuff you'd use as an outdoor carpet.

This Christmas tree is made from a dollar store dish scrubbie (never been used) corrugated cardboard for the trunk, sparkly pipe cleaners & a small button for the decorations. A plastic candy cane, a tiny decorative present and a piece of carpet remnant.

In this scene the button is peeking out from behind a cotton ball cloud. The sun is a piece of shiny gold paper, the water is broadcloth, the boat is foam with a straw and some red cloth for the mast, and the beach is sandpaper with real seashells.

And this page is a simple lift the flap page because Skyler loves flaps and squeakers, so the top piece of fabric is velvet with a squeaker under it, the second is microfibre with a wooden heart under it, and the last is felt with a pink button.

So while I'm no artistic genius, I really did enjoy this craft and I hope when Skyler wakes up he will enjoy his new book. If you do find yourself interested in making a book like this and you need some tips feel free to ask, I learned quite a bit. And the CNIB would happily accept any books you might make if you don't have a visually impaired child yourself.

Neuro

2010-12-06T12:43:00.005-06:00

So on Thursday I typed up a 4 page document about Skyler's development at his 24 month/2 year mark. I figured it would be good to have especially since he'll be seeing a new SLP hopefully soon. Basically it just describes where he's at, the things he's doing at 2 years. Friday morning I got a call from the neurologist's office asking if they could see Skyler on Monday (today). So I asked my coworker if she'd cover for me and she said yes, and I took the day off for his appointment. Suddenly I was glad I had written up that document the day before.

We got there exactly on time, and we got seen as soon as we came in which is always a bonus. I love his neurologist to be honest. He's another great part of Skyler's medical team. I brought him the document that I printed on Thursday and he was of course impressed with how organized we are. He asked us a few questions about where Skyler's at, watched him walk around the room, tested his reflexes and we talked for a little bit. He said he isn't too concerned about Skyler's development. Yes he is lagging a little behind on the speech development, but we agreed that it's probably just the vision thing that has him behind in any areas. It's harder to develop speech when you don't have "normal" vision.

We discussed doing another MRI. He doesn't think we will find too much in the MRI, but we will get a better look at his optic nerves. I inquired about the possibility of his condition affecting his corpus callosum and the neuro agreed that indeed in some people SOD does affect their corpus callosum, he doesn't think Skyler's is affected though. He was surprised that I even knew that, and said that he will definitely look for that in the MRI and let me know if there are any abnormalities. So we decided to go ahead with it, it'll be in about 6 months or so depending on the waiting list. He said we'll be able to get a look at the speech areas of the brain too and check that out, though he thinks Skyler will develop normally.

He said he's seen some patients with SOD who simply have the optic nerve and pituitary problems and develop a little bit slower, but normally. And he's had some patients with epilepsy and seizures and other major issues that cause them not to develop typically. He's thinking that Skyler is of the former and not the latter. Thankfully he doesn't have the epilepsy (so far at least) and he seems to be "coming along quite well" in terms of where he's at in his development. The doctor also asked again what our occupations are, and remarked that we're "more educated than educated people." He is just in awe of us it seems and how much we know about our child and his condition. He told Skyler that he's lucky to have us. Of course we are lucky to have him too.

All in all it was a good visit. I am slightly worried about the MRI as I know Skyler will have to be sedated. The doctor said not to worry too much as he does it all the time, with kids a lot younger than Skyler, and Sky has had an MRI before (at 2 months, or 0 months corrected). It's probably scarier for the parents at this age than it is for him. Hopefully it all goes well. Our next appointment will be when he turns 3. Except after the MRI, he said we can call him to get the results or go in for an appointment if we want, since it would suck to wait 6 months for results. Anyway overall I'm glad his specialists are so great.

Look With Your Eyes, Not Your Hands

2010-11-29T22:02:00.003-06:00

I admit it, I said something not-so-bright to my visually impaired toddler today. I was peeling potatoes over the garbage can, and Mr. Curious came toddling up to see what I was doing. I told him what I was up to, and he stuck his hands into the garbage can, I told him "hands off, you can watch, but don't touch." Yes garbage can yucky, I'm not going to let him play in it. But that sentence coming out of my mouth felt so strange after I had said it. Touch is one of the ways visually impaired kids learn and well "see" if you will. I think me saying this was a bit of two things:

-Forgetfulness, and obvious ick factor (because garbage ew.) even though I had just changed the bag.
-His vision is much better than we ever thought it would be. He seems to see so much more than ever before. He will point to letters on anything anywhere no matter how big or small and tell me "A!" (He recognizes the letter A, but he also can't say the word "letters" yet, and so calls them all A's)

Little Update

2010-11-25T13:41:00.003-06:00

Okay I know it's been a while, a long while. I now have a two year old!! And a very active little person inside me who is 25 weeks along. Skyler's birthday was great, we spent Friday (his actual birthday) at home just the three of us, relaxing and enjoying each other. We also went to his music class where everyone sang him happy birthday of course. It was lovely. We also scrambled and cleaned our butts off to make our place presentable for Saturday.

His party on Saturday was pretty good. I made a ton of cupcakes. The family wasn't too horrible and he got lots of loot, including an acoustic guitar that's his size. And an adorable Toy Story snow suit from grandma and grandpa which was size 24 months. We had to go and exchange it for a 12 month size which fits him much better. The 24 months was huge, like double his size. I took him out to play in it on Sunday and enjoy the huge pile of snow that Nature dumped on us. He seemed to like walking in the waist high snow.

We set up our Christmas tree and Skyler loves it. The lights are inside little Christmas ball ornaments and he likes to point and stare at them. We got him a little baby doll for his birthday and he loves to go and kiss his baby and pick him up gently and carry him around. He's learning to be gentle and he's giving lots of kisses. He is so independent now, and he seems to be starting to make a few new sounds like "ba" and "va" and I heard a "fre" yesterday. Pretty exciting. His wait for speech should be up by January his physio said so hopefully we'll be seeing speech again soon. Anyway the next post will have pictures I promise. Sorry it's been so long!

The Things People Say

2010-11-17T19:08:00.005-06:00

Sometimes something will get under my skin.. Like this evening. I spoke to a family member today, an older person let's say, around 84. Anyway she asked me how Skyler was and C and everyone and mentioned getting some expensive present for Skyler for Christmas, and then asked how my pregnancy was going. I told her all was good, everything on the ultrasound looked good, etc. She said to me "Oh that's good, you couldn't handle another disappointment." Huh? First of all you don't know what I can handle, if I was worried about having another special needs child I wouldn't have planned to have this baby. Secondly there are a lot of words I would use to describe my son, and I don't think she was trying to be malicious or anything, but "disappointment" is not how I would describe my child..

When I look into this little person's (usually crossed) eyes, I see my entire world! I see myself, I see my husband, I see most importantly my son. The little person he is, the person he will one day become. I see everything that's right in the world, an innocent wonderful little person who has so much love to give and receive. So many things he can do. He is never a disappointment. Nor will he ever be, no matter what mistakes he makes or any bad choices in his life.

Skyler you are everything I ever hoped you would be, and so so so much more. I can't imagine life without you, exactly who you are, exactly the way you are. No matter what anyone else thinks or says. I hope you always remember that.

Terrible Twos

2010-11-16T15:59:00.003-06:00

The terrible twos it would seem, are indeed quite terrible. Mister has developed quite a temper to go along with his impatience and demanding nature. He wants everything the way he wants it and he wants it now! I know this is supposedly normal. I made the mistake of watching a video of N (the girl I used to nanny for) when she was his age. In the video I ask her "what do you want honey?" and she clearly says "apple sauce" I hand her the apple sauce and she says "no. yuck. want cheese please" Then I give her cheese and she asks for a bun. A big bun. Her words are so clear. She understands everything I ask her. I look at Skyler and I only wish he were somewhere near that.. But he is not and we have to make do with pointing and SCREAMING and sometimes hitting. Don't get me wrong, I don't take him for granted. We get by well enough, I try to avert his attention before frustration and screaming begin. Which sometimes works, other times it does not.

He is by far the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on, and his mystery and wonder envelopes me every day. I love him so much it hurts. He astounds me with all the new things he's doing. That independence kick though, I tell you I'm doing my very best to encourage it all while trying to keep him safe. Just today I taught him how to zip and unzip zippers. Just in time for winter.. Not sure if this is an awesome thing or a not so great idea. When we came back in from outside he went to zip/unzip my hoodie and was in great distress when he realized I had taken it off and was only wearing a normal shirt. We spent a good 5-10 minutes of him screaming and trying to rip my shirt while I gently but firmly held his hands and tried to convince him that it wasn't the end of the world and it's okay to not always get what you want, but not okay to hit and rip people's clothes.

As December draws nearer I'm definitely feeling the urge to be at home and take care of my family. I've been nesting a bit too I guess. I've never been much of a housewife but lately I find myself in the kitchen doing dishes, and cooking meals & baking and sometimes even making lunches for everyone for the next day. And the weirdest part is I don't seem to mind it. I haven't been spending as much time online. It seems to be such a time suck. I'm spending a lot more time just being with Skyler one on one, following him around, singing with him, reading to him, playing outside. It's not that we didn't spend time together before, but I guess the quality and quantity have increased.

This Friday is his birthday, we're having some people over on Saturday including one of Skyler's friends from nursery at church. I'm hoping it all goes well. I'm excited to bake his cupcakes. There will be lots of them I'm sure. I'm going to make sure he helps me, because he can't not help me anymore. If I'm somewhere doing something he needs to be right there supervising or helping out. Which is great, he's learning so much and he feels involved with what we're doing.

Yesterday I took him outside and when we got out I realized that in the rush we had forgotten his mittens.. So I pulled mine out of my pocket and stuck them on him, and this is the ensuing hilarity that had us both giggling for a while:

Fever Degrees

2010-11-08T11:47:00.003-06:00

Things have been up and down since the little mister started walking, thankfully mostly up. I still get excited every time he toddles by me. I love it so much. We found out that baby #2 is looking good and healthy in there, and that Skyler is going to be having a little brother. Apparently I am looking good too, according to the fetal assessment people. We'll see on Wednesday what my OB says. Oh and fetal assessment is waaaay nicer than the ultrasound department!! When I was pregnant with Skyler I only had one (normal) ultrasound and they were mean. The tech didn't say more than two words to me, C couldn't come into the room until the very end, they had the screen turned away from me so I couldn't see anything I just had to wait quietly while he jabbed me in the abdomen, hard enough to hurt. AND they made me drink a ton of water beforehand so that sucked.

This time my fetal assessment was in a different building in the same hospital. I didn't have to wait for my appoinment at all, they took me as soon as I came in. The tech was super friendly and nice, she told C and Skyler to come in and watch. She explained everything on the screen, told me what every little line and spot was on the screen, what she was looking for, how healthy he looked etc. I got to see everything this time, the screen was facing me. She chatted a bit with me too and she didn't jab me super hard nor did I have to have a full bladder. Then she had a doctor come in and verify that everything looked good. They both told me all looked great, and then the tech printed us out four pictures of the baby. For free! With Skyler they told me it would cost at least $50 or $60 for pictures. A much nicer experience. Next time I go for an ultrasound (if we have another baby someday) I'm going to request a fetal assessment. The doctor there said it would be no problem with my history.

The weekend was pretty good. We got a new sewing machine and sewed almost 20 scarves for the staff at C's work (Christmas presents) and C made his sister's presents too. Technically he did all the sewing, while I did the cutting and pinning. It was amusing at the fabric store because little old ladies would see C looking at fabric and ask him if he sewed. They were astonished or something that a guy actually likes to sew. Personally I like it, it's something we can do together that doesn't involve monitors or screens, since we spend far too much time in front of those as it is.

Yesterday was a gong show. My poor toddler woke up with a high fever. He was flush all over (red skin). We gave him his stress dose of pred and some infant tylenol (and I went and cried in the bathroom because I was so worried). His fever went down and he seemed to be fine, he slept most of the day and when he woke up he played and ate and then put himself back to bed. He woke up again around 10:30pm and the fever was back. We were going to wait it out, give him more tylenol and see if it went back down but he hadn't had a ton of fluids (even though I was trying to push them all day) and C's cousin was over so she pressured us to take him to the hospital. We ended up spending 3 hours in the hospital to find out that we were already doing everything we needed to be doing. That it's some sort of virus that's going around and to just take him home, monitor him and keep doing what we were doing.. Don't you hate it when people make you doubt yourself?? We ended up being awake until 3am in a hospital full of germs for nothing basically. Oh and spending $6 on parking. At least we know he'll be alright.. (Which we pretty much already figured.)

There are only eleven days before Skyler's birthday so I guess we better get planning for his party. Hopefully by then whatever he has will have run its course.

WALKING!!

2010-11-03T18:52:00.001-05:00

Walking Around

2010-11-02T22:52:00.003-05:00

It's November 2nd, Skyler turns two in 17 days. Today my son stood up in the middle of the room without holding onto anything, and took 5 steps toward his bag of halloween candy. A few minutes later he attempted to get up again from his weird and hilarious crawling position (hands and feet) without holding onto anything, he stood took two steps and started to lose his balance so he sat back down. He did this two more times. Then as I was on the phone with my mom telling her how exciting it was that he'd finally got up on his own and decided to walk, he let go of the coffee table and toddled across the room to his exercise ball. I wish I had recorded it.

Perhaps he's finally figured out that he can walk. Just in time for his second birthday. What a gift to us, and himself.

Halloween

2010-11-01T16:23:00.003-05:00

Halloween was great! Crazy busy, but Skyler seemed to have a good time. We went to his CNIB party, my work party, then music class, then Saturday was a bit slower since C had to work, but we did carve Skyler's first pumpkin. He loved it. Sunday we were on the go from 8am until 9pm pretty much. We went to church in the morning, Skyler was tired because he of course woke up at 5am on Sunday and played til 6 or 7am. After church we went to my mom's place, then picked up C's cousin from work and drove out to the small town they're both from. We took her to her mom's place, got some candy from them, then went to C's parent's and had dinner. Dinner was a lot later than they said it would be.. As usual. So we didn't get to go trick or treating until it was pretty dark out.

We got candy from his parents place, then from some friends out there. It's a small town so everyone knows everyone else pretty much. We stopped to chat with a few different people he knew. Everyone loved Skyler's costume and they were impressed that I made it myself. After trick or treating we finally went home and the little guy was so tired out he passed out right away. (After we brushed his teeth of course)

So lately he has stopped wearing his glasses. He is just outright refusing them, and it's making me a little crazy, but I know that for both our sanity it's best that I just let it be for the moment. I try a few times a day to put them on him. He immediately pulls them off, and either tries to put them back on by himself (but can't because of the strap) or he throws them to the floor. I think the fact that he is now (almost) two has a lot to do with his refusal to wear them. He is still really interested in glasses. He takes mine off my face and tries to put them back on me, or on himself. He tries to take his off and put them back on, but the sports strap stops him. I tried taking it off, but they don't stay up on his nose without the strap.

I honestly think that if he can just take them off and put them on all by himself, perhaps he will start wearing them again. So on Saturday I took a walk to the closest grocery store (superstore is a big chain store) and as I was waiting for C's cousin to come out of the bathroom I noticed their vision centre. I took a peek inside and noticed that they had toddler frames!! Toddler frames that I could buy with lenses for only $59!! I had tried to order at that website online, but none of their frames were small enough so I figured we'd have to wait on that until he grows a bit. So I took Skyler to the store with me today and we tried some frames on him and found a pair that fit. His glasses should be ready by tomorrow or the next day. I'm excited. Skyler seemed to like wearing them while we were in the store, so we shall see. I'm hopeful.

I really think the glasses have helped him in the short time he's been wearing them. His eyes seem to be a lot straighter, and he's started squinting! I know it's odd for me to be excited about that, but he never squinted before. To me it shows me that he is trying to see something at a distance that he didn't realize he could see before. He only does it when he's not wearing his glasses, and it started only after he had been wearing them. So I am willing to bet that he can see something with his glasses that he can't see without. So he is trying to compensate by squinting. Although why the silly child won't just wear his glasses to see is beyond me. Toddlers!

He is becoming so.. grown up. I always worry about him being behind and it seemed like it took him forever to do anything, but now I am seeing him do so many new things! He loves to read and look at books like I mentioned in the last post. We got one from the CNIB with touch and feel animals and a squeaker in it (Animal Kisses by Barney Saltzberg). He spent the longest time ever playing with that book. Turning each page to look at the animals and giggling when he pressed the squeaker. His hand manipulation is getting stronger. He likes to pick things up and figure out what they do. To me it feels like he is really becoming a toddler.. I know it sounds strange but I never really thought he'd be so.. typical? with his development. As soon as the walking part & more language comes.. it will be like he's almost a normal kid. I mean a kid who can't see as much as others, but still. He manages to explore his world just fine without it.

I hope you all had a happy halloween too!

Perfect Rhythm

2010-10-30T00:44:00.003-05:00

Yesterday we went to the CNIB halloween party. It was fun, Skyler did some crafts and led me all over the place (he only ate a tiny bit of chocolate, even though I did offer! After the healthy food of course...) Everyone there loved his costume and thought it was cool that I made it. Then this morning Skyler decided that it's 3am on Friday that means playtime! Of course. So we were up from 3 until about 5 or 5:30. Then we had to get up at 7 to go to my work. It was my halloween party at work so C brought Skyler in his costume. The kindergarteners loved him of course. They all wanted to play with him (Ooh a life-size doll!). It was great, though he discovered the doll house and seemed to think it was fantastic so now I'm a little worried that I may be making or buying a doll house soon. Hopefully it can be arranged without spending too much money haha.

I was surprised how well behaved he was at school for someone who didn't sleep and didn't have a nap at all. Then from my work we went straight to his music class, with a pit stop for lunch on the way. He was amazing. I think he's really starting to enjoy the routine and the group and everything. He was really into it, dancing and smiling and laughing and everything. Even though he hadn't napped!

And the teacher brought out a drum at one point, and she sings and plays the rhythm and has us tap the rhythm on our/toddler's legs. Then each little one gets a chance to play the drum while we sing the song, she brought it to Skyler first. The idea is for them to just try it out, get used to instruments etc. I held his hand for the first 3 beats and then let go and he continued playing the drum with perfect rhythm, he kept up the beat for the whole time! I think the music teacher was a little shocked. All the other kids were too fast/slow or varied the tempo. The only reason I mention this is because I'm always noticing how the other kids do everything "better" than he does. So watching him play the drum at the right tempo and not missing a beat was pretty cool. It reminded me that while he might be a little behind in some things, he is still pretty amazing at others.

Lately he's started to enjoy books! Which for me is awesome because I've been an avid reader my whole life. He used to have very little interest in them except for chewing, and he wouldn't sit still for a story to save his life so I'd just read to him while he wandered off to play. But he's started picking up books (usually upside down of course) and pretend to read, or study the pictures, which is fantastic! And yesterday the postman brought us our almost daily supply of Braille books and I cracked one open with Skyler right away. He actually sat with me the entire story and followed the Braille with his fingers while I read him the book. He even pointed at the pictures of the little boy in the story and named some of the body parts (like ear). He's also started naming parts of the face on everyone he gets close to. He likes the eyes and nose best.

All in all, aside from him still not walking (he took about 4 or 5 steps at music class today!) he's doing quite well.. If only I could get him to use his words more often instead of whining! If anyone has a secret for that let me know.

Short Break

2010-10-25T17:13:00.003-05:00

So C and I had a good few days off together. He went last week on Monday to the doctor because his foot has been hurting really bad and we couldn't figure out why. The doctors couldn't either. They took an x ray and saw nothing, so they said come back in a week. Today we went back and they did another x ray. Turns out he has a hairline or stress fracture that they couldn't see last time. They said it's harder to see when they first happen and it becomes more visible within a week or two. So now he has to wear this big foot/leg brace boot thing for 3 weeks.

Over the weekend C and I spent time together without our computers for a change. Normally we are glued to them, it's pretty sad. We turned them off though for 4 or 5 days straight. Last night we did some sewing together. C put the zipper on Sky's cow costume for me. And he fixed my sewing machine. I had no clue what was wrong with it, my thread just kept snapping. He managed to figure it out, and take it apart and oil it. And I made myself a pattern for a sweater to cover my growing belly since none of my jackets zip up over it anymore. I made it out of pyjama fleece and it ended up looking more like a robe, but a very cute snuggly one so I'm not too disappointed. It feels nice and soft and warm, and I did a pretty good job if I say so myself. I'll probably still wear it out and about when it's winter because I'm not going to let my belly freeze.

C got me a deluxe membership to fabricland too, so everything I buy there is a lot cheaper, I've already saved a ton of money both with making my own clothes and buying the fabric with a discount. I'm planning on making a bunch of things for Christmas presents this year too. Speaking of presents it's November next week, I can hardly believe it. We went to Zellers (department store kind of like Wal-Mart but Canadian) and I found a ton of kids books for $3 each. These are books that are normally $8 or $9 a piece, so I grabbed about 8 of them and we wrapped them up for Skyler's birthday, which is almost here.

Last week we had OT (Skyler is doing fantastic, everything except walking is right up to par). This week we have the CNIB halloween party, next week the ultrasound, and the week after we have an OB appointment to find out the results of the fetal assesment. We're busy busy busy. I might take some more time away from the computer, it seemed like I got more done with this thing off for a while. And Skyler just turned on the tv, it's uncanny how he knows when Handy Manny is on.. He doesn't watch anything else, and he always seems to turn it on when Handy Manny is about to start.

Quick

2010-10-25T07:43:00.001-05:00

I've had my computer turned off for the last five days, I'm only on it now for a quick moment before work and to let you know I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, and that sometimes life can be fun without too much technology.. But now I have to head off to work.. I hope you are all doing well.

The Not So Great Day

2010-10-19T20:25:00.006-05:00

So I was supposed to have an ultrasound yesterday at 10:30. Drove all the way out to the hospital, went up to the third floor, found out they had cancelled it because of my fetal assessment in Nov. and either my doctor or NP or whoever had forgotten to tell me or assumed I already knew.. Sigh. Oh well, I am glad that they shoved it all into one appointment. Less ultrasounds = better as they don't know for sure the effect that it may have on unborn babies. So I have to wait until Nov 3rd. Which isn't that far away I guess. We instead used yesterday to get C's foot looked at. We went to the sports clinic which is always super busy. Took 5 hours to get in to see the doctor. He's had some weird pain for 4 days or so and since he stands all night at work it's been making him crazy.

They aren't sure what's wrong with him, they think it might be a stress fracture, but they don't know. So he's supposed to try to take it easy and go back next Monday. Which means he has a 5 day weekend, since this is his long weekend off. He's been working a lot lately, and we hardly ever see each other, so I'm pretty excited to have some time with him. Though I'm not so happy that I will be working, especially after today..

Today was a not so great day. When I came in this morning I found out the little girl I work with is going on the field trip on Friday, which means I have to go too.. and the bus doesn't get back until 3pm. I have to miss Skyler's music class. And I'm not sure how well she's going to do at a corn maze all day. She was having an off day today, and when we went outside at lunch time she was very hyper and all she wanted to do was stim. She likes to spin around in circles and throw herself to the ground with all her weight. There's no way for me to stop her or catch her without injuring myself or putting my baby at risk. So my plan of action is to get her onto the grass and try my hardest to find something to distract her with and keep her calm.

Unfortunately the entire school is out at lunch time on the playground too, and a lot of other kids are very "interested" in her. They like to hover around us and crowd her, and make my life a lot harder because she throws herself onto them and injures them in the process. She doesn't listen to instructions either, nor does she communicate (she's non-verbal remember). And along with the lunch kids, come the lunch supervisors.. There was this one woman staring at me and my little charge, as I tried to redirect her. Finally she comes over and asks me if I work for the school. "No" I tell her that I work for the Y (as it clearly says on my shirt..) but I work in the school. She spends another few minutes staring and then decides to tell me how to do my job. She says "You need to play with her."

My supervisor is nearby and just as annoyed as I am and she says to the lady "She works with her everyday she knows what she's doing." and I'm pretty much too stunned to say anything. What does she expect me to do with a child who is literally throwing herself onto the ground, not listening, not responding to touch, voice, anything at all. I am simply trying to keep her safe and help her calm down. And this woman is telling me what to do, and she does not work with me, I do not work for her, or the organization she is with. She has nothing to do with me, and has her own charges she should be watching. Also she has never worked with the child I have assigned to me, nor does she have a clue about her special needs.

Instead of dropping it, she walks away, finds some other lunch supervisors to gawk with and proceeds to stand with these other women and talk about me. They blatently stare right at me and even point at us! How fricking rude can you get? She is turned facing away from all the children she is supposed to be watching, in order to criticize how I am doing my job which has nothing to do with her. I have spoken with my charge's parents who are satisfied with her level of care! Her therapists all believe she is doing a million times better with me than she has ever been before, and yet some random lunch lady has the adacity to think she knows better than I do. And to stand and point and gossip and tell me what to do. It was very unnerving to have several eyes on me, judging me while I was trying to deal with an already stressful situation.

After that I was happy to be on my way home. Until Skyler drank some water with his straw at lunch time and it went down the wrong way. Then he started choking, and soon I was catching puke in my hands, yet again. I'm not sure how many times I have caught puke in my hands now.. Probably close to 30 times. It almost doesn't faze me anymore. If it hadn't been for the fact that I'd already been having a bad day, it might not have bothered me so much. Add in that he puked up everything he had eaten all day, and the fact that he's still super small and it feels like a giant set back when he pukes up everything he eats. I just want him to gain weight! He's been 20 pounds for like 9 months it seems. So I had to make him another lunch (it seems he always waits until he'd done eating to puke!)

Tonight after he went to sleep I finally got a glimmer of news that might be good. Something is happening that may turn out in my favour. But it involves other people, and I'd rather not talk about it until I know for sure it's happening or not happening. It's all very up in the air right now. Here's hoping it turns out.. I won't know for a while.

Oh and one good thing happened the other day. C got an unexpected bonus in the form of a gift card, and he bought me a new camera since mine's been broken for a while. So if you've made it this far in my lovely novel here, to make up for all that ranting, here's some adorable pictures of my beautiful little guy:

Developmental Milestones

2010-10-16T05:06:00.002-05:00

Life is still chugging along at it's same pace. Skyler hasn't taken much more than 1 or 2 steps here and there since the day he took 5 steps. He lets go of things a lot more to stand and hold onto toys now, but still not walking confidently on his own yet. He'll get there. It's slow going, but I know he's ready, he just needs to realize it on his own.

He'll be two next month, it's hard to believe. I hate when I compare him to the other kids his age, or even younger than him. They all seem to be doing so much more. I know that he will develop at his own pace. I went and out of curiosity did one of those developmental checklists for 24 months. He's almost right on track. He's missing the walking alone piece, and a couple things in terms of communication. For instance, it asks if they can correctly pronounce m, n, p, and h and most vowel sounds. He can pronounce all but the letter p so far. And it asks if they're speaking in two word sentences. He's not really yet. He will say "I like that" on occasion, but I'm not sure if that's echolalia or if he's actually using it as expressive language.

Either way he is pretty on par with most of the developmental milestones. I was pleasantly surprised to find out. I've heard that sometimes meaningful speech doesn't develop in visually impaired kids until they are 3 or 4, at which point they suddenly begin speaking in full sentences. I'm hoping something like that happens, as right now his communication is still consisting mostly of him whining, yelling, screaming and flailing when he's upset or we misunderstand what he wants. We're working hard on getting him to say "help" and "done" when he's frustrated, or tired of a task. He will repeat them when we prompt him usually, but he's not saying them on his own yet. "Use your words" is something I find myself saying frequently throughout the day.

As for pipsqueak, the OB says everything sounds/looks good, and my fetal assessment is on Nov 3rd. Also I have a big baby tummy popping up now, haha. She told C and I to think about whether we want to know the sex or not, because they will likely be able to tell us at the fetal assessment. I definitely want to know if it's a boy or a girl. If it's a boy we have less stuff to buy. If it's a girl.. I may end up buying/making a few frilly things.. Either way I'd like to know if Skyler's getting a sister or brother. That way I can kind of prepare myself mentally, and if it's a girl I can start using her name. If it's a boy I can start a frantic search for the right name.. So far I have not come up with a single boy name that I like. Anyway it's 5am and I have no idea why I'm up so I'm going to try and go back to bed.

At The Park

2010-10-14T00:05:00.002-05:00

Let's pretend I posted this about ten minutes ago, before midnight on Wednesday. Skyler and I went to the park today, I don't think my little one can get much happier. He really is the light of my life.

Skyler's Glasses

2010-10-12T18:56:00.005-05:00

Skyler got his new prescription! The frames are the same, but they seem to fit his face better this time around. AND he wore his glasses from about 1:30pm today (when we picked them up) all the way until bedtime tonight at 7pm. He only tried to take them off a few times, and I reminded him that he needs them to see and to keep them on. He wasn't too upset about it at all! Which is a really good sign, it means they're probably helping his vision. He was even looking around a whole lot when we put them on, and staring at things. I wonder what he can see with them.

His eyes are still crossing, the left one is especially turning in, but that's alright. Hopefully it will straighten itself out a bit more in the next few days as he adjusts to the glasses, and if not then it's time to patch. The cutest moment of the day has to have been when he took them off to lay down and have some milk. I put them back on him after (I cleaned them for him too, toddlers have dirty hands) and he simply reached up and touched them and said "glasses" and went back to playing. So adorable. Every once in a while he'd reach up like he was going to take them off, and then he'd stop and go back to what he was doing.

In unrelated news, I'm now at the 19 week mark. I see my OB this Thursday. I'm not sure if I'm crazy or if I'm only remembering the last part of my pregnancy with Skyler, but it seems this baby doesn't move around as much as he did. I'm not at the stage yet where I can feel it from the outside, but I have been feeling kicks for a long while now, but they just don't seem to be as frequent. Perhaps this baby has a calmer disposition than my little firecracker boy. Next week on Monday I go for my first ultrasound. Here's hoping they'll tell us the sex.

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-10-10T03:33:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving (in Canada anyway) and we're celebrating with family tonight and tomorrow night. What I am thankful for right now is obviously my family, being able to support ourselves, having a good safe place to live, healthcare, all the rights and freedoms that I have just because I live in Canada. But at the moment I'm also super thankful that I'm friends with an optician!

I was thinking yesterday about how Skyler is going to be wearing glasses full time now. Because he's so young I think it's worthwhile to have a back-up pair handy since he's likely to pull his off or pop out a lens or something. I went to work researching where I could find him another pair of glasses. As I mentioned before the frames we have for him now were given to us for free from his amazing opthalmologist. But they will be outgrown at some point soon, and I discovered yesterday that to find toddler glasses in our city is next to impossible. There is a grand total of ONE place that sells baby and toddler frames in this city. And the prices are as you can imagine astronomical. $350 and up for a single pair of glasses..

So I continued looking around online, I found a forum for people whose babies and toddlers wear glasses. There was an article written on there about buying glasses online. The best site they recommended is www.zennioptical.com (I'm not getting paid to tell you this btw) as you can get a pair of prescription glasses for as low as $8. That's including the lenses (single focus). Shipping is only $5 in the states, and $9 to Canada. This to me sounded too good to be true, so I did some looking around at reviews. They're almost entirely positive, and there are lots of them out there. For $8 glasses how can I go wrong? If they don't work then I'm only out $8 + shipping.

The only thing is to order you need a pupillary measurement and the prescription and the frame size. Fortunately our next door neighbour and friend is the optician who does Skyler's (and my) glasses. We invited her over for coffee and asked what she thought about us ordering him some glasses (since I was still feeling a bit wary, but excited about not paying $350). She said she'd get us his measurements either tomorrow when he's awake (she'll come and measure him for me again) or on Tuesday when she can check them at work on the computer. She helped me pick out the right size frames on the website and explained to me a bit about how the measurements work. She also said there's no harm in spending a few bucks and finding out if they're good or not. If the lenses aren't proper she'll pop them out for us and we can send them in to have new lenses put in for $38 through her work.

Overall it's totally worth checking out, if they don't work out we can easily have her put new lenses in as long as they're optical grade frames. We're fortunate to have a friend who can help us with this stuff, especially since our child is visually impaired. Anyway I think I'll order him two pairs of glasses since I'm paying the $9 in shipping. The sizes aren't quite as small as he needs, so he will likely grow into them. One of the pairs should fit him right away and the other one I picked may take him a few months or so. I'm excited because I know his prescription is going to change, his head size will change, but he will need glasses like me and if I can get them for a fraction of the cost that's what I'm going to do, at least for back-up pairs.

Anyway I just thought I'd share and happy thanksgiving to my Canadian friends. I hope that you too have a lot to be thankful for.

Friday Madness

2010-10-08T23:28:00.003-05:00

So yesterday, as my big boy was showing off his skills of standing one place while holding something with two hands (ex. not holding onto the table) he came across an ill placed mug of liquid which he hoisted up and all over mommy's laptop. The power plug was pulled, the battery came out quite quickly as well as mommy and daddy rushed to save its life. Miss Laptop is still undergoing surgery. Her keyboard was removed, cleaned and painstakingly put back together. Luckily nothing else inside got wet. I'm quite fortunate to have a man who used to build laptops and desktops..

As for Skyler, he's taken a couple steps on his own here and there.. Mostly one at a time, and he has been letting go of things more frequently to stand for a bit on his own. Today we went to his first music class. It was a ton of fun. Even though last night after said laptop debacle he decided he wasn't feeling well and didn't go to sleep until after 3am. I was so sad about that because he's been on a perfect sleep schedule for months, sleeping at 7:30 or thereabouts each night and making it until morning without waking up. Going to work this morning with 3 hours sleep was brutal.

Anyway, back to the music class. Though Skyler was tired (he slept until 11am, so he had more sleep than me) he still seemed to enjoy it quite a bit. His first transition experience went less than stellar. There's 15 mins playtime before the music part starts, and he did not like having his play interrupted to go sit on a mat in a circle with the other kids. However as soon as we started singing and playing instruments my boppy little toddler started to smile and bounce to the beat. I think he loved that daddy and I were both there with him, playing, dancing and singing. He enjoyed tapping the rainsticks, and putting the bean bag on his head.

It was a bit interesting for me. We know he is behind developmentally in some areas, not by a lot though mind you, but it was a lot easier to see it in a group of his peers. The class was 18months to 36 months. All of the kids were able to walk on their own already except for him, and I started to realize the difference between him and his sighted peers a bit more too. His vision hasn't had much effect on his play at all before, because it's always been one on one for him with us. This time, in a big group I realized how the other kids are able to make eye contact with the teacher, watch the puppet she's holding and look at the story books while she reads. With Skyler he doesn't really seem to engage visually with the teacher like the other kids do. I'm not sure if she was outside of his visual range, or perhaps wasn't interesting enough for him to look at. He did however take a lot away from the class, and the teacher made sure to bring the book around for each child to touch (it had raised froggies in it).

The songs were catchy, and she did an entrance and exit song using each child's name and an action. He loved that, and the song was stuck in my head most of the night. The other parents seemed nice enough too. I had worried that since his class is in a wealthier neighbourhood that the parents might be a bit standoffish. After class we went home and ate and then took Skyler to the park by my mom's place. Skyler had a great time even though he was ready to pass out, daddy is usually at work when I take Sky to the park, so he had lots of fun playing with him today. Yesterday for the first time he went on the teeter totter all on his own, (and off and on and off and on ad infinitum) and today the park we went to had swings so he got to go on there for the first time in about 6 months. Last time we went on the swings he was terrified, this time he loved it.

When we got home, he promptly passed out at about 6:50. And so far so good. I hope you are all having a nice Friday as well.

He Did It!!!

2010-10-06T17:04:00.000-05:00

It took him 22 months and 17 days, but HE DID IT! Skyler took his first five steps unassisted today!! At our baby group. He was screaming (because I wouldn't let him push someone else's stroller) while the others were talking during group so I took him into the foyer of the church where they hold the baby group.. And he was pushing a toy, he let go of the toy and was walking holding onto me. Then I let go of him, and he was stunned for a minute. He took two steps forwards, then two steps back, almost lost his footing, but righted himself (Looked panicked too of course) and then took one more half step and lowered himself down.

Mommy then proceeded to cry, and call daddy at work and grama and text everyone and put it up on facebook. And cry some more.

October is Full of Appointments

2010-10-04T15:51:00.005-05:00

We went Friday afternoon and filled Skyler's prescription for his glasses. We got lucky and he still fits his old frames! And our friend is an optician so she filled the order for us and she got authorization to cut us a deal. We only ended up spending $38 on his new lenses!! I paid it in full, and hopefully the new glasses will arrive sometime this week or next week. This time, they should help him see more! How exciting is that? He seems to be seeing quite a bit let me tell you.

In the last few days it seems like his development has exploded. He's yammering away, talking, repeating, pointing, turning knobs on his new toy kitchen, climbing up steps, trying to climb onto the couch, walking holding only one hand, walking holding onto a big people broom and nothing else, the list goes on and on. I'm so proud of him. And he gives himself "time-outs". Time-outs around here are not a punishment. When he's having a fussy-cranky-upset-about-everything-and-nothing-time, we head to his room, I give him a bottle of water and he lies down on his bed and takes time for himself, I leave the door open and when he's done he wanders back out, feeling refreshed and much less cranky. Now he knows when he needs to go for a "time out" and he'll wander off to his room, find his bottle of water and lay down. He also puts himself to bed now!

Today we had endocrinology, so we headed back to the children's hospital for the second time in the last few days, and over to the community services building where they have the endocrine clinic. Skyler was measured and weighed, and the doctor came in and said he is doing fantastic for growth, she was extremely impressed with where he is on the growth chart. She showed us how fabulous his curve is on the chart. And then we talked about doing his blood tests at the next appointment (in 6 months) and she asked how we'd feel about taking him for a bone age scan. She explained that they would x-ray his hand and see if his growth plates are at the right stage for his age. Even if they are behind that's alright, as long as they mature at a steady rate. This way we can take another scan in a year or so and see if he's growing properly. It will aid us in deciding if he needs growth hormone later.

We agreed and took him down to the X-Ray lab for his first ever X-Ray. Daddy held him on his lap while I waited in the waiting room (Didn't want to put baby at risk). They had to squish his hand under some plexiglass cause he didn't want to keep it open, but he did really well. I didn't hear any crying and it was done in less than two minutes. All in all it's been a good couple of doctor appointments, and those are the big ones for him. His vision is progressing wonderfully, as is his growth.

We went shopping today for groceries and Skyler picked out his cake mixes for his birthday cake/cupcakes/whatever I decide to make. I offered him a choice between chocolate or rainbow bits.. He chose both. I also spent some time with family yesterday after church and heard a rumour, that if it's true would be very beneficial for all parties involved so I am hoping it will end up being true.

We went to church for the first time in a few months yesterday. C has been working mornings on Sundays so we hadn't been able to go, but it was so lovely to be back! Everyone missed us and we had missed them too. Skyler had lots of fun in the nursery, I was worried about leaving him since it's been a few months since we'd left him there, but he didn't even notice us leaving, even though I kissed him on the head and said we'd be back in an hour. He played happily with the other toddlers until we got back. It was nice.

After church and after visiting my family we went home and had a new friend over. I met her through the baby & me group I go to. She has a 10 month old baby girl with a G-tube, who was born preemie as well. She was due in Jan and born in Nov just like Skyler. In fact their birthdays are only 2 days apart. We had a lovely night, hanging out together with our new friends. Skyler was so enthralled with the cute baby girl. He was gentle and attentive, he wanted to touch her cheek, and he danced for her. She smiled and cooed and flirted back. It was really cute to watch. I loved how fascinated he was with her, and how he was so happy to meet her.

I can't wait for Friday when we have our first music class! So far this month is starting off quite well. I hope it continues that way. and I hope your October is going as well as ours is so far.

Opthalmology

2010-10-01T11:38:00.003-05:00

We had opthalmology today. At 9:15. There were two no-shows and a cancellation so we got in almost as soon as we got in the door, which is amazing in that office. I love his opthalmologist so much! The British accent doesn't hurt things either. He took a look at Sky and agreed that he seems to be switching and using both eyes now instead of just one! (Fantastic!) He told us that since we can recognize when he is using one eye over the other, that we can watch him and if he starts favouring one eye, patch that eye for a while, until he starts using both again. And to just keep watching and patch whichever eye when necessary.

He also did the drops and examined his eyes (which he hates, but he wasn't too bad about it.) and wrote him out a new prescription. So we're back to wearing glasses again, let's hope he keeps them on! I just need to get his prescription filled.. I'm hoping the frames still fit him or else we're looking at a huge bill for this one. Kids/toddler frames = extremely expensive. And we talked a bit about surgery to straighten out his eyes. The Dr. said that usually with strabismus he would do the surgery quite early, but since he has ONH he doesn't want to operate until he's older, because there's a risk of over correcting. He says that there's a good chance we can correct it with the patching and glasses while he's young. Though he thinks that he likely will end up "slipping" and crossing his eyes after a while even if we correct it now. So we may be looking at surgery later on when he's older.

And he was saying that he will probably never have the same kind of vision we do (how the two eyes take the pictures and put them together into one. Or depth perception basically) but he will likely keep using one eye at a time. That's okay of course. That's just him. Also I inquired about him seeing colours because in my human eye course I've learned that optic nerve problems can cause colour deficiency. He told me that if you and I suddenly had a problem with our optic nerves, colour might go, but because Skyler was born with smaller optic nerves he doesn't think it's an issue for him. But because we can't test yet we won't know. He said though that it's not a big deal even if he does have some problems with colours, he will still see things, just a bit different than us. Which I mean I already tell people that. :)

Anyway it was a lovely appointment and he's testing somewhere within the ranges of 20/125 to 20/220 because he's having trouble getting him to co-operate for the testing. Anyway the idea of him seeing somewhere between those ranges is kind of exciting for me.. I've always just gone with his last diagnosis of 20/200. I think the 20/125 is more accurate because when he's at home he points out things further away than the cards at the doctors office which he finds utterly boring.

I just had to share!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-09-29T15:14:00.001-05:00

Climbing to New Heights

2010-09-28T21:02:00.004-05:00

He seems to be learning so quickly. We hadn't done too much "schooling" over the summer, but I picked him up a new pack of Ses.ame Stre.et alphabet flashcards the other day, and he's already picking out letters and saying their names. (His favourites are A and D). Yesterday we worked on using a spoon. Haha it was hilarious, and awesome. He doesn't quite do the wrist rotations yet, so when I gave him a cup of yogurt and a spoon he went at it, and managed to get some in his mouth, and quite a bit all over him. He then decided maybe it would be easier to use his hands, so he dunked those in there, but realized that he wasn't getting much yogurt that way, so he then must have thought to himself "hey it's in a cup.. I must be able to drink it." which resulted in lots of yogurt all over my little man, but he did keep alternating methods until he had finished the entire thing. And I think at least half of it went in him.

I've started putting him to bed at 7:30 on the dot each night. It's made an amazing difference in how well he sleeps at night. There seem to be few wake ups. Minus the other morning when he decided to get up at 4am and stay up for the day.. Other than that he's been sleeping straight through the night, which is fantastic as it allows me to do the same.

Today the weather was gorgeous so after work we ate some lunch and then I took him outside to the park next to our building. It was a wonderful afternoon. He was in a great mood, I took literally 200 pictures. He walked around the park holding my hands, we played in the leaves. I'd pick them up and then let them fall, sometimes the wind would take them, and he would giggle like crazy watching them float to the ground. Then he would pick up his own leaf and let it drop too. He crawled around the park, and he climbed over a bunch of wooden post things. His gross motor skills are improving so much. He even went up and down the wooden steps twice. We also walked down a pretty steep slope together through a massive pile of leaves (which he loved because the leaves make a funny sound) and headed down toward the river.

There's a river behind our place, that is really more like a stream, it's not very wide or deep at all, but there are beavers, and geese. I don't think Skyler had ever seen a goose before, because they've never gotten close enough, but there were three in the water today and when they saw us, they came so close! Only a few feet away, I'm not a hundred percent sure, but I think Skyler saw his first goose today! It was amazing to be able to share that experience with him. He pointed toward them so I think he saw something, even if it was only the shape of it. They were honking too, so I know he heard them.

Then we headed back up the slope to the park and he shocked me again, but not only approaching the usually loathed play structure, but by climbing up to the top all by himself!! Then he played with the tic tac toe wheels for a while, and I freaked about because a wasp landed on him (and I carefully shooed it away whilst pretending for his sake that all was well, even though my heart was racing.) luckily he didn't get stung so it was all good. Then he climbed down, and back up again, and then almost fell, I'm not sure if it's his lack of depth perception or if he just didn't look, but he went to step where there was nothing to step on. I was right there of course and I made sure he didn't fall, but he was startled a bit. After that we went and wandered around the park some more until we were ready for dinner.

We came inside and had popcorn shrimp and french fries. So delicious. Then we played until 7:30 and off to bed he went. Now I'm about to pass out so I'd best head off to bed.

PS. I tried to add pictures to this post, but blogger is being a jerk and won't let me. Which sucks cause the pictures are super cute. :P

Mmmm

2010-09-25T12:59:00.005-05:00

We just finished a photo-shoot for Skyler. The CNIB contacted us a while back asking if we'd be willing to let Skyler be in a photo essay about living with vision loss. So the photographer is someone who goes to a local college and is doing her photo essay to promote a more positive image for living with vision loss. How could I possibly say no? He was awesome the whole time, showed her just how happy he is. She said he was the easiest person to photograph ever. So that was cool. She took some shots of us together. I'm glad I snuck in that quick shower before she got here! She was really grateful to us for letting her include him in the essay. There's going to be an exhibit in Feb (I'm hoping I'll be able to make it since it's pretty close to my due date.) She said she'd call back with the dates closer to when it'll be showing, and that she'll give us a photo from it too as a thank-you.

Yesterday we celebrated Mabon (the autumnal equinox). Chuck made us a lovely roast, the best whipped potatoes ever, veggies and home made bread. I made us a homemade strawberry pie with a homemade shortbread crust (coated in chocolate) for dessert with whipped cream. It was all soo delicious! Celebrating the harvest is awesome. Then this morning I woke up early (unfortunately Chuck has to work today and tomorrow) and I made us pancakes from scratch, with fresh bananas and strawberries, covered in real whipped cream and chocolate sauce. Mmmm. Homemade stuff is the best.

Now Skyler and I are just relaxing, eating some cheese bun for lunch and listening to music. Who could ask for more?

A Smile for the Day

2010-09-19T19:56:00.004-05:00

I found this on notalwaysright.com, most of the stories on there are about customers being silly/dumb, but this one touched my heart :)

No Pranks, Just Thanks

Library | Eugene, OR, USA

(I am shelving DVDs in a library when a man comes in with a boy who appears to be autistic. The boy sees a movie about Thanksgiving)

Boy: “Thanksgiving! I love Thanksgiving! I’m thankful… I’m thankful for… I’m thankful for my friends at school!”

Caretaker: “You’re thankful for your friends at school?”

Boy: “Yeah! Yeah and… and… what are you thankful for? Are you thankful for your friends?”

Caretaker: *no response*

Boy: “Are you thankful for me?”

Caretaker: “I’m thankful for you, kid. I’m more thankful for you than all my friends in the world.”

Boy: *smiles*

Wondering..

2010-09-18T13:13:00.003-05:00

I'm anxiously awaiting the letter in the mail letting me know when we're doing this fetal assessment thing so I can find out if I'm on bedrest for the next 5 months or not. I know it has to be before Oct 14th because that's when my next OB appt is, and she will tell me then what we're going to do. I'm a little nervous about being on bedrest (possibly) with a toddler.. This should be interesting. I'm sure we'll get through it if that is the case. Any suggestions for books to read?? I love books, and if I'm stuck in bed for months I'm going to do need something to do.

I'm also worried about missing Halloween.. If I'm on bedrest I wonder if I can sit in the car while C takes Skyler out for Halloween.. We're mostly driving to and from people's houses that we know (friends and family). Otherwise that's going to suck.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-09-15T21:52:00.003-05:00

A work in progress. Skyler is helping by taking a nap on the pieces I just cut.

The (almost) finished project

All it needs is a zipper. And it looks so much cuter on him than on the floor! Haha I took a couple pics of him trying on the hoodie, but he was tired so they're mostly shots of him lying on the floor trying to nap in it. I put him to bed, I'll have to get pictures of him wearing it tomorrow. For something I made entirely myself including the pattern (but not the actual fabric as my lovely husband points out) it's not too shabby.

Incompetent

2010-09-15T12:56:00.002-05:00

We had our appointment with the OB today. I thought it was at 10:30am, so when I took a look at the scheduler on our way out the door at 10 I realized it was actually at 10am! I called and told them I would be late. And on the way there we got stuck behind every slow person, hit every red light. I hate being late and I was having a panic attack of course. So we get in and the nurse gives us a lecture about how they run on schedule and they cancel your appointment if you're late. And I just burst into tears. I told her I was sorry that I felt awful, that I was panicking about it. She seemed to soften, but I just felt like crap to begin with I hate making people wait.

Fortunately my OB was a saint and told me not to worry about it. She's extremely nice and sweet. She told me she'd schedule me for a fetal assesment but not for the baby, for me. She says that from my account of how I went into premature labour it sounds like I may have an incompetent cervix. She said it normally happens in the second trimester, but it's possible that that's why Skyler was born so early. I knew a little about what an incompetent cervix is, because I used to follow Becky who no longer blogs, but she lost her little boys to an incompetent cervix. My OB said that if that is what it is we can do things to prevent it, like bed rest and whatever. She didn't mention surgery (sewing it shut) but I think that's another thing they sometimes can do with an incompetent cervix. Anyway she said I am a healthy woman and we're not going to treat me as anything different unless we find out otherwise from the fetal assessment. So for now, business as usual except no lifting things.

I think my company pays for disability if I have to go on bedrest, but I'm not sure. If not I'll probably get EI. I wouldn't mind resting I guess, but I'm sure I will get quite bored. She said it's possible too that it could have been just a random thing (Skyler being premature) but it's best to find out for certain obviously.

We also got to hear the heartbeat again. It sounds wonderful. I've felt a few movements over the last couple weeks. Here's hoping I can keep this baby safe inside me until it's ready to be born alive and well.

Candy Cow

2010-09-14T13:43:00.003-05:00

Skyler is sick yet again! And so are C and I. So far he has only puked once, and while he hasn't been sleeping much it's not as bad as last time yet. I hate colds! School/work is going okay. The first few days with my little one were pretty trying as everything was brand new to both of us. A lot of adjusting. Plus she's still on her summer schedule and had not been sleeping at all. So every day was basically her getting pretty upset and falling asleep on everything, the floor, the instruments, me, the table, the chair. Everywhere I'd try to go with her she would fall asleep. Last night she actually had a good night's sleep and today she was fantastic. I'd never seen her so happy. Lots of smiles and giggles, we had a good morning.

I'm off tomorrow to go to the OB, my first appointment with her for this pregnancy. I'm 15 weeks along now. I hope it goes well. If I remember correctly she was pretty nice the one time I saw her when I was pregnant with Skyler. I've been pretty emotional, crying at everything. And like last time I've started getting heartburn now that I'm in the second trimester, oh and back pain.

I can't wait to show everyone my latest project. C and I were discussing what to do about Halloween this year, since Skyler is almost two this time around and he can kind of walk (he's down to holding one hand most of the time!!) and well we want his candy. Haha, we jokingly said he's like a "cash cow" for candy (a candy cow). Dress him up all cute and he'll rake in the treats. We'll give him a small cut of course. Of course the issue of him needing an actual costume comes into play, because cute baby can only get you so far, cute baby in cute costume now that will get you some snickers bars or something right? We went to the stores and looked around, toddler costumes are ridiculously expensive! $25 for a cheaply made costume? Made with a tiny amount of fabric (usually not the best fabric either).

We decided to dress him as a cow, and I looked around for a cow costume. $20 for a toddler hoodie made of some cheap white felt type material with two black patches sewn on, and ears on the hood. It didn't even come with pants.. Um, no thanks. I went to the fabric store and hunted around until I found the perfect cow pattern, and better yet the material is gorgeous. It's soft, it feels and looks like a real cow, and it was on sale! So my little boy is going to end up in a costume (with both pants and a hoodie) that cost me $9, and looks so much better than the junk in the store. (Assuming my sewing skills are up to par.)

I started it last night. First I took Sky's measurements and then designed my pattern, I had to pull out the fancy pencils and sketch paper, and I must have redrawn a few of the pieces at least 3 or 4 times to get it perfect. I'm making it a bit on the big side so he can wear other warm clothes underneath since end of Oct here is always freezing. (I'm not sure he'll need to though as the fabric is warm and it has a lining inside..) After I made my pattern pieces, I cut them all out, from the cow fabric and the flannelette I'm using as a lining. Then I sewed together most of the pieces with the lining. It's coming along quite nicely. The only problem is I have a ton of extra cow pattern fabric left over. I bought almost two metres to be sure I'd have enough. I'm thinking pillows..

First Day of School

2010-09-08T15:15:00.004-05:00

My first day was good. My little girl is adorable, she was pretty calm the first part of the morning (she even fell asleep on me!) but then right before lunch time she decided she was done. It's a brand new environment and everything is different and scary, I'm hoping that as she settles in things will get easier. Turns out her family immigrated like 2 or 3 generations ago. So, not really immigrants at all. Haven't met dad yet, but mom is nice.

Working with her today reminded me of all the things I have to be grateful for Skyler. He has so much more vision than a lot of blind kids. While his eye contact isn't perfect (especially since one eye is usually turned in) he doesn't have a problem facing you, or keeping his head up when he babbles at you. And he will smile back at you if you smile. He interacts a lot, if you laugh, he laughs. If he does something funny and you laugh, he will do it again and again and again. Right now he thinks it's hilarious to fake burp whenever he hears someone else burp. Same with sneezing, coughing, blowing your nose. Any sound you can make he will copy it for your amusement.

I realized today that we've come a long way from when we learned about his condition. We've gone through a lot, and we've learned a lot. I remember the sadness that I felt when I thought he was completely blind and the scary thoughts of how much he would miss out on, and all the what-ifs. Today even though we know he is legally blind, we also know that he can see things around him and make out what they are. We know that he knows our faces, our expressions, he explores his world freely and enthusiastically. He's not afraid of most things. He will climb his chair, and try to get up onto the arm of the couch! He hasn't shown any signs of autism yet, though a lot of blindisms do look like autism, and he has a few of those. (He flaps/flails his arms when he's upset.)

Today he was being extremely whiny, and I went to find him and figure out what he wanted since I had just fed him, changed/pottied him, and bathed him. I found him in his room, lying on his bed ready for sleep. For the first time he put himself down for a nap. He's been sleeping very weird hours lately and making us all crazy around here, so I know I should keep him up and not let him nap right now, but it's just too cute that he's figured out he is tired and has put himself to bed. Well here's hoping the rest of the week goes well.

Back To School

2010-09-01T13:46:00.003-05:00

September is here and I'm gearing up for "back to school". School starts on the 8th, but I've already spent the last two days in training sessions and then tomorrow will be a meeting at the school with my new coworkers & supervisor. I haven't actually been in this school yet so it should be interesting. I hear there are no outside windows, I'm a little nervous about that as I like natural light.. Oh well what can you do? I found out that it will just be me and my supervisor all morning (I start after the before school part of the program has finished) and we only have 4 kindergartens including the girl I'm with. So my supervisor has 3 kids and I have 1. I think it will be a big change from the 17 I'm used to. It might be nice, maybe quieter who knows?

Sept 7th we're supposed to have an intake meeting with the little girl I'm working with and her family. I hear they are immigrants (don't know when they immigrated though) and I'm not sure how strong their English is. Hopefully there won't be too much of a divide. Her therapists should be there too, physio and SLP I'm guessing, and I know our/her OT from the CNIB wants to be there too. I've already reviewed the material I got from the course I took in February on working with and parenting the child who is visually impaired. I even printed out most of the resources, and I've put together a binder, sort of a daily journal thing to keep track of everything.

In my daily journal for the little girl I had C create me a template page where I can keep track of activities, feeding, toileting, and other notes and another page to track our goals for the month and the activities suggested by the therapists. I know she has a lot of issues to work on, but I am hoping that we will be able to meet at least some of those goals together this year, and I'm going to be organized and ready to support her in her learning. I also created a binder for Skyler, for his goals and activities and to basically use as his "Learning portfolio". Since we are homeschooling him, the best way to keep track of his achievements is a portfolio showcasing his work, and journaling our activities and what kinds of things he learns from these activities.

Skyler had an appointment with his Physiotherapist today, we've been picked back up and are off the waiting list now. She took a good look at his hips, moving them in the sockets, pressing on his legs, bending them this way and that. He amazingly enough did not make a sound. He played with a shaker, and actually smiled/giggled at times while she did her thing. Her observations: his hips seem fine. He has great range of motion in his hips and legs. She didn't seem worried about it, but suggested we get the x-ray done anyway to make sure that all is well inside. On Friday we'll have his appointment with his OT who I imagine will probably say the same thing. I'm glad the PT didn't seem alarmed and said his hips seem to be great. That's a bit of a relief.

Finally! (TMI warning)

2010-08-28T15:34:00.002-05:00

Saturday is here (C has to work Sat & Sun which sucks..) and Skyler has finally stopped puking. We're on our third or fourth day now puke free! I can't even count the amount of times I caught puke with my hands in the last week. And the laundry we had to do.. Like 6 loads of laundry, most of it bedding or clothing that had been puked on. Yuck! Everything is clean now, we washed it at C's parents last night. They had a huge family dinner, I mean it wasn't supposed to be, but they have 4 kids, and each one of the girls brought their boyfriend except one whose boyfriend is in Ont. And I was there, and the baby of course. So it was 10 people for dinner. Dinner was good. Everyone behaved pretty well for a change which is a miracle in that family.

AND the most important piece of news! After we left at like 9:30pm C's sister brought over Skyler's new big boy bed! Actually it's his youngest sister's twin bed that she's grown out of as she's now 18 and has a double. We went and bought him his own sheet set and a mattress protector today and we set it up in his room this morning. And my little big boy, took his first nap in his big boy bed! We gave him a bottle, he laid down and past right out. Not a peep from him. We had to go in and wake him up at 2pm so he didn't sleep all afternoon. He woke up with a big smile on his face. He loves getting on and off his bed and playing on it, and laying on it. So cute. We really wanted to get him used to having his own big bed before the new baby comes. We don't want him being mad or jealous that some new little person came along and stole both his mommy and his crib! (Of course we're not going to forget about him when the baby is born, but I will be breastfeeding so he may get less attention for a while.)

Anyway here's hoping he sleeps as well tonight. I hope everything in your life is going well!

The Fun Never Ends

2010-08-25T16:33:00.002-05:00

If you've been following then you know that Skyler has been sick since Friday. He has some sort of cold that is making him congested, and when my boy gets congested he starts choking on his snot. When he starts choking he sometimes will puke. When he pukes twice, we have to give him his solu-cortef injection.Yesterday he went to bed around 6pm. I was delighted that he was sleeping so soundly. It was not to be of course. He woke up at midnight, just after C got home from work. He refused to go back to sleep (when he lies down the snot keeps him from breathing which keeps him from sleeping. I've tried propping up his head, but no luck yet.) and he got all upset and puked. Twice. He puked up his meds.

The next thing we had to do was give him his injection. It was our first time giving it to him and it was not the most fun thing in the world. So after we gave it to him, got the bandaid on, had some snuggles C decided to call and get his prescription refilled because we only get one vial at a time and there are only two doses in each vial. Each dose only lasts three days from when you activate it/open the vial. So we wanted to make sure we would have it on hand if this continued. We called 3 different pharmacy locations all the same chain. Only one of them had it. They refused to fill the prescription because the last one they got was from a year ago.

So we had to call the pediatric endocrinologist on call. Maybe she just doesn't like working over night or something but she was a (insert word here). C explained to her that we had to give his emergency dose. She asked why we hadn't taken him to the ER. He told her that Skyler is okay, just has a cold and is congested and is puking because he can't seem to get rid of the snot. She said "And who made that diagnosis?". . . . Let's be clear here that the tone of her voice as well as her words implied beyond a doubt that we as his parents are definitely not qualified to say why our son is puking and that indeed we are imbeciles for thinking that with our small brains we might be able to figure out what's going on.

She eventually said she'd phone in the prescription to the one store that was open 24 hours and had the meds on hand. We went and picked up the meds, and they gave us some insulin needles since they don't have the kind we need, and we got our very own biohazardous medical waste bucket. My life just keeps getting better. Heh. So we didn't get to sleep until about 5am. Then this morning (okay technically noon) we ate our breakfast/lunch and then decided to see if we could get him in to see our NP. We called at 1. They told us to come in at 2. So we did, we saw her right away, the visit was thorough, but not lengthy.

She examined him, said his ears are fine, no infection. Lungs are clear, throat is a little red from coughing so much. No fever, no signs of stomach flu. Everything in perfect working order except he is congested. It looks like a common cold virus. Bottom line? He's puking because he chokes on his snot and doesn't know how to spit it out or blow his nose. Sigh. I wish people would stop questioning our intelligence when it comes to our son. I am glad our NP looked at him and came to the same conclusion that we did, and I'm glad we didn't take him to an ER full of germs just to sit there for 8 hours and find out that he is fine. I just hate when specialists get that superiority complex. I feel like saying "No I'm not an idiot, when my kid is horking back a load of snot and then chokes on it til he pukes, I'm pretty sure I can figure out why he's puking."

She also checked everything else while he was there, and noticed that he has one leg longer than the other.. I agreed I had noticed his left leg is stiff, and his foot seems to point outward when he walks. She thinks he may have a problem with his hip and suggested we go get him X-rayed. So he may have some hip dysplasia or something on top of everything else. I've read that they can usually fix it when a brace and if that doesn't work they do surgery. I seriously don't want him to have surgery. What can you do though? If he needs it, he needs it. We'll cross that road when we come to it. For now I just want to make it through tonight.

Skyler Goes Shopping

2010-08-23T15:28:00.003-05:00

Three posts in one day. Yikes. I had to share though, it's too cute not to.

140

2010-08-23T12:31:00.002-05:00

We got to hear the heartbeat! Skyler's baby (brother/sister) has a heartrate of about 140. It sounded beautiful. :)

12 Weeks

2010-08-23T09:05:00.003-05:00

Saturday night was alright, Skyler went back to bed at about 9 or 10 and slept through the night. Last night he did not want to sleep again, and he puked. We had to wait and see if he would puke again and if he did we had to give him his hydrocortisol in an injection. I honestly don't know if he puked again because I told C I couldn't stay awake any longer once midnight hit and I went and past out. Normally I stay up with the baby, but I've been so exhausted I just couldn't do it.

Yesterday was the CNIB bbq. It's at a farm so Skyler got to see some kittens and roosters and ducks for the first time, and he went on his first hayride. It was pretty hot, but at least there was a breeze. His runny nose is getting a bit better. I talked to his OT and found out a little bit about the girl I will be working with in September. It sounds like she needs a lot of extra help. Our OT said she will stay on working with the girl for this year if I am going to be working with her, because she needs someone who will actually follow through with the OT's suggestions and she knows I will.

And I might as well say it, today I am 12 weeks pregnant. In about an hour I will be at my nurse practitioner's office. Hopefully hearing the heartbeat for the first time. Wish us luck.

Worst Night Ever

2010-08-21T19:59:00.002-05:00

Last night was possibly the worst night ever. Since the NICU anyway. The day before had been awful Wed/Thur I had been up with him super late and then woke up at 7am with him. The two of us had been up all day, he refused to nap and then didn't want to sleep. I was so tired I couldn't think straight. So fast forward to last night. Skyler's nose started running in the afternoon. The day had been super busy we had to go and deposit cheques and get new back tires on the car and I had to get fitted for a bridesmaid dress for C's sister's wedding. So after all that nonsense we had to go to C's grandma's for dinner. That's when the fun started.

Skyler's nose started to run and I could tell he wasn't feeling 100%. We ate dinner, then C went outside to change the oil in the car. We went out for a minute but there were too many mosquitos so we went back inside. C's grandma gave Skyler a juicebox, and the poor kid who doesn't seem to know what to do when he has a runny nose, sucked the juice right into his lungs and began hacking and sputtering and of course as he does whenever he chokes, he puked. I find whenever he is sick with a cold the snot in his throat makes him cough/choke until he pukes it up.

We went home shortly after and tried to get him to go to bed. I think he laid down for half an hour. Eventually at 11pm we went to pick up C's cousin from work. We returned home, tried yet again to get him to bed. Countless times we put him down and had to go in and pick him up because he wouldn't stop screaming and crying hysterically. Finally at about 2am we decided that the crib wasn't working and we were getting desperate so we were going to go for a drive. Unfortunately Skyler is not one of those babies who can "cry it out". If we leave him crying for too long (especially when sick. and sometimes too long is only minutes) he will puke. So when C went to get him from the crib I guess it had been too long and he puked all over C.

So a quick clothing change + bath and we tried the crib again. No luck, so off to the car for a drive. We gave him stress pred oral and headed out. He slept in the car, but we could only go until 3am and then we were both worn out and needed sleep. Unfortunately Skyler was not going to sleep when we got back into the apartment. He puked again around 3:30, we started freaking out. I gave him more pred at 4 and sent C to sleep for two hours since he had to open the store at 6:30am. Skyler puked again at 4:30. I know I should have given him his shot at this point, but we weren't thinking and by 4:30 I was dead tired and rocking back and forth crying on the floor basically, pleading with him to please sleep. This would end up being a recurring theme as we tried to decide if we should take him to the ER.

C left for work at 6am and Sky and I were still awake. He puked again at 7am and I called C and told him I couldn't do it anymore and he had to come home. He called his boss and made her go in for a bit so he could come home. We called the endocrinologist who told us we should have given him his shot at 4am, and that we should wake him up (as he had just just finally fallen asleep, it was nine am by the time C came home) and take him to ER so they could assess him, show us how to use the shot and send him home.

In other words last night/today has been one hell of a night/day! He slept til 7pm and he is okay right now, still sick and stuffy and tired but he's playing. He hasn't puked yet today either, not since 7. I'm going to go insane though if he refuses to sleep tonight. I was just ready to smash my head into a wall this morning, and stressed beyond belief, with panic attacks and everything I am so not ready to go through that again tonight. Tomorrow is the CNIB picnic, and his gymnastics registration. It's supposed to be 33c above not including the humidity.. It's going to be killer hot. Here's hoping the weather and his sickiness doesn't ruin everything. :( I so want him to be feeling better. It sucks when your baby is sick and medically fragile.

Class Registration

2010-08-19T19:19:00.004-05:00

C and I went today and registered Skyler for his music class at the Montessori play school. We got to wander around and the director explained the program. I loved the school, it's gorgeous the way it's set up. There are all sorts of soft giant blocks for him to climb on, toys and books and they are all nice and neat and clean and nothing is so chewed or ragged that you can't figure out what it is. (Maybe the daycare I work in has broken things because we have too many kids) The way the room is separated too is just lovely. It's all an open concept and it's so welcoming. The walls are painted a lovely soft colour with murals of trees and bubbles and things painted on them. There are mirrors everywhere. There is a little dance studio toward the entrance where his music class will take place.

The director explained that the first 15 minutes we all just get to socialize and have free play throughout the room, and then the music teacher will ring her bell and call everyone into the circle for class. The kids will get to play instruments and sing and listen to music and whatnot. The class is 45 mins not including the 15 min free play. She said also that if at any point Skyler is bored or doesn't feel like sitting still the rest of the "school" is available for him to play in and explore and he can go back to the circle as he wishes. And it's open concept so he will be able to hear the music while he explores. There's also a small kitchen and refreshments are provided for the parents. And there's a spot to eat for the little guys if we want to bring him some snacks.

It's a beautiful place and I was quite impressed with it. More importantly Skyler loved it. He was so interested in exploring everything. I can't wait for classes to start in October. Also today I registered Skyler for a gymnastics class. It's Saturday mornings, and it's not too far from us. C and I decided we'll do one music class and one gym class for now. The gym class is for toddlers 18 months to 3yrs and they have access to this big room full of things to climb and swing on and play in. There are tunnels and slides, and all sorts of cool things. I'm really hoping this will help with his gross motor skills maybe give him the balance/confidence to walk on his own. Again it's parent involved so C and I will both be there with him. I can't wait to go to their open house to check it out.

Musically Inclined

2010-08-18T22:13:00.002-05:00

Okay so I realize this probably makes me insane, but I'm looking into signing Skyler up for another music class.. Kindermusik. It's on Monday nights at 6pm. Lately he's been staying up until like 9pm anyway so this will hopefully tire him out enough to go to sleep before 9. It's a 15 min walk from my place. It's 15 weeks whereas the other one is only 10. You get a couple books and an activity book and a lunch bag and an instrument to keep. And you can pay in a series of post dated cheques. Skyler and I went to our Baby & Me class today and he watched the other babies interact, and he was reticent to join them. He wasn't crying or anything, but he was just sitting back and watching. At one point a little one came up and gave him a big hug. At first he was just like WTH, then he started to freak out a little like mommy why is this baby touching me?

I really want him to interact more with other babies, especially since he's (hopefully) going to be a big brother soon. Most of all though I want him to have fun, to interact with others (including adults) and try something different. You have no idea how stir crazy we get sitting in the same apartment doing the exact same things every day, so I'm hoping since music is something he loves and something I love and something that visually impaired kids can participate in easily that this will be a good choice for him.

Plus he gets a disability cheque each month, and that money is for him and to help support him in his development and all that stuff so I don't have a problem spending it on something like this. I know two days a week might be a lot, but they're spread apart enough I think. And both classes are parent involved classes so it's not like I'll be leaving him with strangers. Anyway, let me know if you think I'm nuts. (Not that it will change my mind or anything. ;)

Watching TV

2010-08-17T22:00:00.004-05:00

Yesterday Skyler and I were at my moms. I was sitting on the couch with Sky on my lap and there was some commercial on tv. (My mom's tv is smaller and much higher up than ours) My little man points to the tv and says "Car!" sure enough it's a car commercial. I just looked at him, rather stunned. "You can see that?" Seriously. I think he's slightly less blind than we think he is..

And in the spirit of adorableness I have a picture of my little Scottish lad in his wee kilt. (My dad's side of the family is from Aberdeen, Scotland. We're proud Scots ;) I couldn't be happier that Skyler now owns his first kilt.
Tonight Skyler discovered three new things. I feel like Sesame Street here; the word of the day is "comb" Skyler loves the comb today. No clue. Food of the day: raisins! I made him two different meals for dinner, nope. He wanted raisins. Handfuls of raisins. Ok then. And his newest activity: riding in the laundry basket and saying "Yey!!" and yes it sounds just the way I spelled it, but much cuter than I can convey in type.

Lots to Say

2010-08-16T10:33:00.002-05:00

I've been a bad blogger lately. There's so much going on it's hard to decide what to tell you about. I'll start with our appointment at the hospital for prenatal genetics last week. My appointment was for 2:30. We got into the hospital with 7 minutes to spare, but then had to find our way through the tunnels to the right building. Then when we got to the right building the people behind the bullet-proof glass (who you had to use a phone to talk to) couldn't seem to figure out where I was supposed to be. After 5-10 mins of searching through some binder they finally told me to go to the basement.. Weird I know. I get down there and we must have been like 5 minutes late. So I tell them I'm here they tell me to go sit down.

Half an hour goes by and women are coming in and leaving fairly quickly after seeing their docs. There's a sign on the window of the reception that says "If you've been waiting longer than half an hour please inform the staff" Okay so I walk over and ask when I'll be seeing the doctor. The woman picks up a phone says she's calling him and then I'm standing there waiting. A couple walks in and basically shoves me aside to get to the window, I'm still standing there waiting. The woman hangs up the phone and tells me to "Go sit down." Which honestly was extremely rude. She didn't answer my question, I don't think she even talked to anyone on the phone, and just told me to sit down. I went and sat, annoyed.

An hour goes by and I walk over to the other woman in the reception desk hoping for a better answer. This time I get an "I don't know" giggle shrug. I walk off to the bathroom and when I come back Skyler is starting to get annoyed, C is getting antsy so I start pacing the room with Skyler loudly saying "I know baby I'm sorry, I'm just as frustrated as you are. I didn't think we'd be here for an hour and a half." All the while I can't understand why new people keep coming in and getting seen and leaving so quickly while we're standing here waiting. Finally some woman comes and says the doctor is with a patient.. I tell her it's been almost 2 hours. She says she doesn't know how long it will be because she can't just interrupt him while he's with someone. Fine, whatever. So we wait.

She comes back another 15 mins later and says it will be 10 more minutes. I'm frustrated, Skyler and C are frustrated. Finally the guy shows up and he says "I'm sorry about the wait I told them to call me when you got here. I had to go upstairs." I was ready to deck someone. We quickly run through the family history thing, how my pregnancy with Skyler went. He confirms for us (as we already knew) that septo-optic dysplasia is not hereditary, there is no reason to suspect that this baby will have it. He said that in some rare cases there is a gene that siblings might have in common, but it's not very likely. He set up an ultra sound for 22 weeks so they can check and see if anything looks abnormal, but thats it. He also stated that what Skyler has is an anomoly. That word for some reason comforts me. It's something that they can't decipher why it happens, it's not genetics, it's not something we did wrong. It just happens randomly and usually only once in a family.

___________________________________________

Moving on, I haven't talked a lot about this pregnancy. Okay maybe hardly at all. Truth is I'm both excited beyond words and a bit nervous. We managed to have a baby already I know. I still worry though, I'm 11 weeks now. The morning sickness seems to have subsided mostly. I'm scheduled for so many appointments you wouldn't believe it. I have an ultrasound in October. They sent me a letter. No phone call, no Dr telling me why, I'm guessing she will explain at my appointment in September that it's because I'm high risk or whatever.

I still want to hear the heartbeat. I've gone to the clinic twice now and they keep telling me I'm just not far enough along. So I'm waiting. My next appointment with my nurse practicioner is this coming Monday, I'll be 12 weeks and hopefully we will be able to hear the heartbeat. I love my nurse practicioner, I'm very happy to have one. Too bad I will be seen by the high risk OB for most of this pregnancy.

The baby is due March 8th. We keep telling Skyler that mommy has a baby in her tummy. He doesn't seem to have clued in yet, but I'm not really showing (I have a tummy, but it's all fat) and he hasn't been around many other babies yet. He is saying a lot more new words. But he's not walking yet. He got new shoes and has worn them twice now. He seems to like them which is awesome because before he hated shoes. He's almost let go to stand a few times in his new shoes. I've got my fingers crossed. The weather has recently turned from scorching hot to chilly, windy and autumn-like. I'm thinking I might dress him up in something warm and take him for a walk soon.

I have more to say, but this is already a novel, so thanks for reading if you made it this far. ;)

Wordless Whateverday

2010-08-15T23:41:00.002-05:00

Reprieve

2010-08-10T09:05:00.003-05:00

Two posts in one day, sometimes I forget my head. I forgot to mention that I've been stuck with my kid 24/7 and started to go insane. I called up my mom on Saturday and asked if she had some time for just me. Thankfully she called me back and said she had planned a nice night for me and my brother. The three of us went out for dinner, and then to the casino. I won $15. Haha doesn't sound like much but I'm one of those people who cashes out as soon as I get two dollars. And my mom gave me the $5 to put in the machine I didn't even bring money to spend. So I tripled the $5 and was happy with that. It was a great time, and it was nice to get a quick break from little guy. As much as I love him I think we all need a break sometimes.