More of the Same

It's my first day tomorrow at my new job. No more training for me! Just me, a couple other "daycare teachers" and 75 kids. Chuck goes back to work today, it's just going to be me and Sky tonight. I'm a little nervous, I can already tell he's probably not going to want to sleep tonight. He didn't sleep well last night either, and he doesn't seem to want to take his nap right now. Oh well, such is life.

I forgot to mention what we learned from the neurologist a while back. During our discussion with him, he told us that he's been studying SOD and there is new evidence to suggest that it may be genetic. He said, however that it's a small chance, maybe about 10 percent, that the next child will have it as well. We'll obviously learn more when we meet with the geneticist, but it will be a while before then. The neurologist asked us if we planned to have more kids and we both answered with an emphatic yes. Even if we have another one with SOD, we already know the ins and outs, and are hooked up with CNIB and all the specialists we'd need. I imagine it wouldn't be hard to get our next child in to see any of them with the family history.

I know there are lots of people with special needs kids who don't want to risk having another one. Not to say they don't love their child, or treasure them. I think it all depends on what the child has. Honestly if Skyler had a life threatening/terminal genetic illness I'm not sure how I'd feel about trying again. I would probably want to very badly, but I'm not sure I could go through with it, knowing the risks. I'd probably want to consider donor gametes or adoption/foster parenting if that were the case. Because SOD can be managed with hormone replacement therapy, and I don't think blindness is as crippling or life destroying as most people seem to see it, I have no problem with having another one with the same issues. At least we would be prepared to deal with it.

But don't get me started on being pregnant again. There's something I'm scared of. Not the pregnancy itself. I loved being pregnant with Skyler, but the trying to get pregnant, the worrying while pregnant, all of that.. Not looking forward to that part.

So when people pose the question "Are you sure you want to have another? What if the next one is like him?" I know my response will be "Well I am hoping for a girl, but if we have another boy I certainly won't love him any less."