So Much

So much has happened in the last few weeks. I kept wanting to write in here, I'd open up the window, have no idea where to start, and close it again just as fast. I have been keeping up on everyone's blog though. I check every day pretty much for updates..

I still have no idea where to start. I've been working so much lately. And it's making me crazy. I normally have quite a few days off. Sat, sunday, monday and wednesday. Wednesday has been my day for my baby classes, where I get free milk coupons, and they feed me and I learn stuff.. But now apparently I will be working on wednesday evenings and I am more than a little pissed off.. I also on this last cheque had to pay for C's adjustments.. (I work for a chiropractor and he's been adjusting C.. ugh) so that was 100 dollars off my cheque which I actually needed to pay rent. Lovely. So that also made me quite angry. Not to mention I am nearing the third trimester and am noticing that absolutely everything it seems makes me very very very cranky.

Anyway I have been working everyday of the week now except Sunday. Today is my one day off. I'm just feeling tired, and like I need the money yeah, grateful for that sure, but I work these stupid split shifts and I have like 4 hours in between the two shifts some days and it's just ridiculous. I work all the way across the city so sometimes C will come and get me for lunch, but he always has to work at 1:30pm and sometimes I'm not back to work until 4. So he drops me off near my work and I sit around in a field or whatever until I have to go back. It kind of sucks. I mean it wasn't so bad in the summer when it was nice and warm out, but the days are getting colder. And I don't think hanging out in a field for 2 and a half hours will be such a good idea during a Manitoba winter.

It wouldn't be so bad if it was a normal 6-8 hour day with a short lunch break in between or hell I don't even need a lunch break, I'll bring a sandwich and eat when she takes a nap or while she's having her lunch. I don't care. At least then I could to work, and then go home at the end of the day and just be at home and not have to go back in 2-4 hours for another 3 hours and then go home again. Also I was getting my bus tickets for free on Wednesdays from my baby & me program and now that I have to work wednesdays I don't get to go get bus tickets.. UGH. Pain in the ass really.

Oh and did I mention I have been super paranoid this whole time and it is driving me up the wall. I've broken down I don't know how many times now, because the baby hasn't moved enough in one hour, or because I am cranky and I get so worried that the baby is going to know I am pissed off and he is going to be pissed off and whatnot because the epinephrine travel through my blood stream to him. Absolutely crazy.

I went to my last prenatal appointment, funny story actually.. not.. It was Monday morning, usually around the end of the month I have my prenatal. So I couldn't find the paper that says what time/date my appt is. So I call the clinic. And she says "actually it's today, in fact right now.. 10 o clock" well fack, it's 9:55. So we drive down there, the 20 mins it takes to get there, and they say have a seat Donna will be out to see you in a minute..

Wait a second who the hell is Donna?? My nurse is Jane thank you very much. So I see this Donna chick and she is like "uhh you've been seeing Jane your file says.. Was she too busy to see you today?"

"No.. who are you again? I have no idea why they scheduled me with you.."

"Yeah you really should be seeing Jane, she's been following your whole pregnancy.."

"Yes I'm aware of that. I'm sure I booked the appointment with Jane, the receptionist must have misclicked a button or something."

UGH. So while Donna was nice and all she totally had no clue about my pregnancy, and just my luck we got back my ultrasound for this appointment, and she completely skimmed over it and didn't bother reading it. (Luckily though I was sitting right next to her and read it for myself.)
She looks at it and says "Looks like you have abnormally high amniotic fluid" And I am reading over her shoulder, and it actually says "Amniotic fluid is in the higher range of normal" So she's having trouble reading it or something, and reads it over again a few minutes later and corrects herself and says oh it's normal, but higher end of normal. Well duh. Read the damn page correctly or better yet give it to me to read.

Also she wasn't as comforting as my normal nurse. The one I usually see is awesome, she answers all my questions, takes me seriously, reminds me that my body is healthy, baby is doing awesome, etc etc. But since I didn't see her this month I am falling apart. The heartrate was much lower than normal (only 120) and this nurse said like nothing about it. Didn't reassure me that that was okay or whatever.. I'm sorry but yes I do need the reassurance.. I'm actually pretty pissed about it. And now I have to wait until the end of October to see my normal nurse again. I kind of elongated the word Jane this time when I booked the appointment, like hello want to schedule it properly this time? With the right person??

There is so much more to right but I am just not going to get into it, I need to get some sleep for tomorrow. bah.

Sleep?

If sleep is for the weak well I must be quite strong. It's fair to say I never got much sleep growing up. And still don't for the most part. Lately though I am tired, drop dead tired. Normally a good 5 hours will get me through the day no problem. I know that isn't healthy. Right now though, I climb into bed, and inexplicitly wake up a few hours later.. to pee, to blow my nose, whatever it is, something always wakes me up. I stumble back to bed trying to keep my eyes closed as much as possible hoping this will facilitate my re-entry into dreamland. Alas I lie there in bed, tired but unable to fall back asleep. Eventually I succumb to the fact that I am not going to fall back asleep until much later in the day when I have once again exhausted my body to the point where I cannot stay awake any longer. My guess is this will happen around noon.

C seems to be doing much better now, though last night he was wound up like a jack-in-the-box. Some real life friends of ours had their baby at 10:30pm, and when we got the text message he was practically through the roof. I doubt he fell asleep until sometime in the wee hours of this morning, because when I walked into the kitchen it appeared we had been ransacked by raccoons. I was of course freaking out because it looked like someone had eaten all my cookies, until I realized he had reorganized everything in the cupboards and for some reason thrown the empty cookie box on the floor.. (The garbage is literally 2 feet away I know your legs aren't broken..)

I think he is just so excited to hear that our friend is now a daddy, and that if all goes well, he too will soon have a little baby. We won't be able to see their baby for another two weeks, he's still in the ICU to get his blood sugars up, and he was born in a small town outside the city or else we'd go to see them right now.

Anyway I need some breakfast cookies.. I'm gonna go do that.