Musically Inclined

Okay so I realize this probably makes me insane, but I'm looking into signing Skyler up for another music class.. Kindermusik. It's on Monday nights at 6pm. Lately he's been staying up until like 9pm anyway so this will hopefully tire him out enough to go to sleep before 9. It's a 15 min walk from my place. It's 15 weeks whereas the other one is only 10. You get a couple books and an activity book and a lunch bag and an instrument to keep. And you can pay in a series of post dated cheques. Skyler and I went to our Baby & Me class today and he watched the other babies interact, and he was reticent to join them. He wasn't crying or anything, but he was just sitting back and watching. At one point a little one came up and gave him a big hug. At first he was just like WTH, then he started to freak out a little like mommy why is this baby touching me?

I really want him to interact more with other babies, especially since he's (hopefully) going to be a big brother soon. Most of all though I want him to have fun, to interact with others (including adults) and try something different. You have no idea how stir crazy we get sitting in the same apartment doing the exact same things every day, so I'm hoping since music is something he loves and something I love and something that visually impaired kids can participate in easily that this will be a good choice for him.

Plus he gets a disability cheque each month, and that money is for him and to help support him in his development and all that stuff so I don't have a problem spending it on something like this. I know two days a week might be a lot, but they're spread apart enough I think. And both classes are parent involved classes so it's not like I'll be leaving him with strangers. Anyway, let me know if you think I'm nuts. (Not that it will change my mind or anything. ;)

Watching TV

Yesterday Skyler and I were at my moms. I was sitting on the couch with Sky on my lap and there was some commercial on tv. (My mom's tv is smaller and much higher up than ours) My little man points to the tv and says "Car!" sure enough it's a car commercial. I just looked at him, rather stunned. "You can see that?" Seriously. I think he's slightly less blind than we think he is..

And in the spirit of adorableness I have a picture of my little Scottish lad in his wee kilt. (My dad's side of the family is from Aberdeen, Scotland. We're proud Scots ;) I couldn't be happier that Skyler now owns his first kilt.
Tonight Skyler discovered three new things. I feel like Sesame Street here; the word of the day is "comb" Skyler loves the comb today. No clue. Food of the day: raisins! I made him two different meals for dinner, nope. He wanted raisins. Handfuls of raisins. Ok then. And his newest activity: riding in the laundry basket and saying "Yey!!" and yes it sounds just the way I spelled it, but much cuter than I can convey in type.

Lots to Say

I've been a bad blogger lately. There's so much going on it's hard to decide what to tell you about. I'll start with our appointment at the hospital for prenatal genetics last week. My appointment was for 2:30. We got into the hospital with 7 minutes to spare, but then had to find our way through the tunnels to the right building. Then when we got to the right building the people behind the bullet-proof glass (who you had to use a phone to talk to) couldn't seem to figure out where I was supposed to be. After 5-10 mins of searching through some binder they finally told me to go to the basement.. Weird I know. I get down there and we must have been like 5 minutes late. So I tell them I'm here they tell me to go sit down.

Half an hour goes by and women are coming in and leaving fairly quickly after seeing their docs. There's a sign on the window of the reception that says "If you've been waiting longer than half an hour please inform the staff" Okay so I walk over and ask when I'll be seeing the doctor. The woman picks up a phone says she's calling him and then I'm standing there waiting. A couple walks in and basically shoves me aside to get to the window, I'm still standing there waiting. The woman hangs up the phone and tells me to "Go sit down." Which honestly was extremely rude. She didn't answer my question, I don't think she even talked to anyone on the phone, and just told me to sit down. I went and sat, annoyed.

An hour goes by and I walk over to the other woman in the reception desk hoping for a better answer. This time I get an "I don't know" giggle shrug. I walk off to the bathroom and when I come back Skyler is starting to get annoyed, C is getting antsy so I start pacing the room with Skyler loudly saying "I know baby I'm sorry, I'm just as frustrated as you are. I didn't think we'd be here for an hour and a half." All the while I can't understand why new people keep coming in and getting seen and leaving so quickly while we're standing here waiting. Finally some woman comes and says the doctor is with a patient.. I tell her it's been almost 2 hours. She says she doesn't know how long it will be because she can't just interrupt him while he's with someone. Fine, whatever. So we wait.

She comes back another 15 mins later and says it will be 10 more minutes. I'm frustrated, Skyler and C are frustrated. Finally the guy shows up and he says "I'm sorry about the wait I told them to call me when you got here. I had to go upstairs." I was ready to deck someone. We quickly run through the family history thing, how my pregnancy with Skyler went. He confirms for us (as we already knew) that septo-optic dysplasia is not hereditary, there is no reason to suspect that this baby will have it. He said that in some rare cases there is a gene that siblings might have in common, but it's not very likely. He set up an ultra sound for 22 weeks so they can check and see if anything looks abnormal, but thats it. He also stated that what Skyler has is an anomoly. That word for some reason comforts me. It's something that they can't decipher why it happens, it's not genetics, it's not something we did wrong. It just happens randomly and usually only once in a family.

___________________________________________

Moving on, I haven't talked a lot about this pregnancy. Okay maybe hardly at all. Truth is I'm both excited beyond words and a bit nervous. We managed to have a baby already I know. I still worry though, I'm 11 weeks now. The morning sickness seems to have subsided mostly. I'm scheduled for so many appointments you wouldn't believe it. I have an ultrasound in October. They sent me a letter. No phone call, no Dr telling me why, I'm guessing she will explain at my appointment in September that it's because I'm high risk or whatever.

I still want to hear the heartbeat. I've gone to the clinic twice now and they keep telling me I'm just not far enough along. So I'm waiting. My next appointment with my nurse practicioner is this coming Monday, I'll be 12 weeks and hopefully we will be able to hear the heartbeat. I love my nurse practicioner, I'm very happy to have one. Too bad I will be seen by the high risk OB for most of this pregnancy.

The baby is due March 8th. We keep telling Skyler that mommy has a baby in her tummy. He doesn't seem to have clued in yet, but I'm not really showing (I have a tummy, but it's all fat) and he hasn't been around many other babies yet. He is saying a lot more new words. But he's not walking yet. He got new shoes and has worn them twice now. He seems to like them which is awesome because before he hated shoes. He's almost let go to stand a few times in his new shoes. I've got my fingers crossed. The weather has recently turned from scorching hot to chilly, windy and autumn-like. I'm thinking I might dress him up in something warm and take him for a walk soon.

I have more to say, but this is already a novel, so thanks for reading if you made it this far. ;)

Wordless Whateverday

Reprieve

Two posts in one day, sometimes I forget my head. I forgot to mention that I've been stuck with my kid 24/7 and started to go insane. I called up my mom on Saturday and asked if she had some time for just me. Thankfully she called me back and said she had planned a nice night for me and my brother. The three of us went out for dinner, and then to the casino. I won $15. Haha doesn't sound like much but I'm one of those people who cashes out as soon as I get two dollars. And my mom gave me the $5 to put in the machine I didn't even bring money to spend. So I tripled the $5 and was happy with that. It was a great time, and it was nice to get a quick break from little guy. As much as I love him I think we all need a break sometimes.

Car

So C's done his holidays, back to work today. I'm having mixed feelings about it. I'm mostly sad that we'll have less time together, though at times he did get on my nerves (he likes things super tidy and uses his time off to clean and clean, and complain that I'm not wanting to clean) but that's just life as a couple. Honestly I'm more likely to clean while he's at work, I see his time off as time to spend together, I mean obviously some cleaning has to be done, but he went out and bought yet another carpet cleaning accessory and cleaned our carpets. Not that I'm complaining. Ah I just can't win here can I?

Skyler has new words, including the word "car" which he loves. Whenever we get into the car he sits there saying "car" over and over with a big smile on his face. He's so proud of himself. Speaking of which I forgot to tell you what happened to our car on the Friday before we went camping. We were set to leave on Saturday morning to go to Gimli (a town about 2 hours away) and then Sunday leave to go camping. So Friday morning we were driving to C's parents (they live just outside of town) and this person in front of us was driving a pick-up truck with a trailer attached on the back. The trailer had those metal poles that you see on scaffalding to clean windows of sky scrapers. Anyway, they hadn't checked that it was properly secured and of course a huge metal pole comes flying off this trailer and into our wheel well. Busted our tire completely.

C had to honk at them and follow them until they stopped (we pulled over to the shoulder) as these people had no clue. The guy who was driving was a grade A moron. He told us it wasn't his fault that the pole came off his trailer. As far as I can tell yeah it was his fault. If he had properly secured his load beforehand it wouldn't have happened. There was also another guy who ran over the metal pole before they went and picked it up out of traffic and he busted his tire too. The other guy was from out of province though and didn't know what to do. (My province's car insurance covers you anywhere in Canada, most other provinces don't.) So we called the police and tried to get them to respond to the scene (which if there's over a thousand dollars worth of damages they're supposed to) they told us to call Autopac (our insurance company) as no one was hurt so they didn't want to respond.

So Autopac says to empty out everything in the car, leave the doors unlocked and the keys inside and the tow truck will come pick up the car. Fortunately we were almost at C's parents (about halfway there) so his mom came and picked us up. Talk about stressful. Our claim adjuster said we could make a claim against the person whose fault it was to try to get a rental car. When we got a hold of the adjuster he said we had to wait until that person filed a claim which he was unlikely to do because he didn't believe he was at fault. Autopac has to send them a letter telling them to make a claim and then it's up to him if he is going to take responsibility for the damages to our car! I don't get it!! Which means we have to pay $200 (our deductible) to get our car back.

Fortunately C's youngest sister has a car but doesn't drive yet, so we fixed it up and we're borrowing that for now. I'm really ticked off about the whole thing though because I don't understand how this other person has the option of not taking responsibility for not properly securing his load. Now because of HIS actions we have to pay to have our car fixed, we can't get it back until we pay the $200, which is money we don't exactly have since I'm off work right now. Sigh.

Wow I hadn't realized how annoyed I would get just typing all that out. Here's hoping this person decides to take responsibility for his lack of care (which I doubt he will) or else we have to take him to small claims court and try to get the money for our deductible out of him.

Whew

It's been a crazy week. Skyler loved camping right up until he realized we weren't going home at night and that he had to sleep with us on the air mattress. Then he was much less than pleased.


So sleeping was less than ideal out in the woods, but the weather was beautiful (mostly, there was a bit of rain, but not much) and I got to spend some quality time with my brother. I really loved canoeing, it's been forever since I went out on the lake in a canoe! I surprised myself by actually remembering what to do. We came back a day early because we didn't feel like staying up all night a second night, but we really did enjoy our time camping.

I've been looking into getting Skyler into a music program. He loves music, and I want him to have some sort of interaction with other kids as he's starting to get interested in them. I think it would be a good opportunity for us to spend some time with him in a different setting with other toddlers, helping him learn some social skills and having fun at the same time. I'm looking into a local program, and into kindermusik in our area. The kindermusik is closer to us, but it's on a Monday so I'd have to bus there with Skyler on my own and it's more expensive. The local program is cheaper, the classes are an hour instead of 45 mins, and it's on Friday afternoons so while it's a bit further away C can drive us and attend with us. It's at 2 on Friday afternoons, and I'm done work at 1 so it's good timing.

The class sizes are small (6-8 kids) and the teacher is a music teacher. I'm hoping it will be something Skyler will like. I sent an email and they offered to hold a spot for us until registration on Sept 10th. Classes begin Oct 8th. I'm hoping it works out, and I'm hoping we can come up with the fees by then.. I'm supposedly on unemployment for the summer, but the gov't hasn't bothered to give me any money yet.. Sigh.. Here's hoping they get it figured out soon.

Girls..

My boy really is growing up. In the past week or so he's started saying a bunch of new words like cracker, and ding dong. And the newest one as of yesterday while at our baby group is "girl". He was grabbing at another baby's skirt while she tried to crawl away, and later he was chasing another girl baby. I told him that was a girl and he began repeating it. It now seems to be his favourite word. Which, coupled with the new sound he started making this morning is actually quite amusing. I grabbed him from his crib and brought him to our bed. I told him to give his daddy a kiss good morning and he started making the kissy lip smacking sound. Now he says girl and makes the kissy sound. He's not even two yet.. ay yi yi.

And we've started playing a game on the bed, where he stands up holding the wall and then lets go and just stands on his own for a bit. He's doing it a lot and has even started to do it on the floor. It's very exciting for us, he might eventually walk on his own! I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high. Also his other new skill is drinking juice from a juice box. So far it's less messy than drinking from a cup so I'm all for it. He has some apple juice once in a while, but he's still mostly drinking water and milk. We're working on using a spoon, but he still would rather scoop the food out with his fingers.

I'm excited and nervous about camping this weekend. C tried to get Skyler to sleep on the air matress with him on his bedroom floor. That didn't work out so well. Skyler wanted nothing to do with laying down on the air mattress. He was too busy playing of course. I'm hoping he'll sleep on it when we're camping because he'll be so tired out from doing things all day, and there won't be much to do in the tent aside from sleep. *crossing my fingers*

This week feels like it's gone on forever and a day and it still isn't over. I just want the weekend already, and I know C is feeling it more than anyone since he starts holidays tomorrow. And after all the insanity that happened at his work yesterday I think he's more than done for a while. He actually had a lady come into the store (they sell coffee, and so they have a sink by the coffee machines to fill and empty the machines) and she took off her shirt and started washing herself at the sink! She wasn't wearing a bra, nothing. Just standing there with her tatas and everything hanging out, having a little bird bath at their sink! C told her she had to put her shirt back on, and she went nuts. She threatened to kill him, saying she's bigger than he is, and she could take him on and whatever. He ended up having to call the police and he banned her from the store. They didn't even show up, the lady left and then decided to come back a couple hours later. He called the police again, and he was pretty mad about it. Craziness.

New Updates

Hey, thank you teacher for pointing out on my last blog what's going on with the design thing. I really appreciate it!

Wow these last couple days have been packed with news. Sunday we went to my mom's as per usual. My mom and I dug out some of her old tea cups and saucers. She has a collection of them and we're looking to sell them. (It's not like matching sets though, mostly odds and ends, but it looks like some pieces may be worth something). Last night after my mom's C and I worked out our plans for this weekend. He starts his week long holiday this Friday, so we're seeing the little girl I used to take care of sometime this weekend I hope. Saturday we're driving to another city in our province for their Icelandic festival in which some of our friends are historic viking re-enactors. (It's very cool) And then Sunday we've booked a campsite, and we're going camping Sunday and Monday with my little brother (and of course Skyler). I'm so excited, I haven't been camping in a long time. We're going to go hiking and canoeing too. I'm just worried that Skyler might not want to sleep in the tent..

Then today I got a message from a girl I worked with at the centre. She told me to check my email for a message from the big boss. I realized they had my old email address. Anyway, turns out I'm not at the same centre (which I figured). I've been offered a position at a school that is about the same distance away. My new position is inclusion worker from 8:30am to 1pm with a little girl who has a visual impairment and is non-verbal. I couldn't be more excited. She's just starting kindergarten. I can't wait to meet her and get to know her. I think inclusion work will be perfect for me, as well as working with a child who has the same type of impairment as my own child. There's even a possibility that I'll be working with my son's OT at times, if she's still working with this child.

So I'm off to try and figure out this blog design thing, I hope you all are well!

Yeah, I Don't Know

I know, my blog looks weird now. Not sure what happened, but the template I was using before is no longer hosted by photobucket or something like that so it stopped working. I just quickly chose something different last night when I noticed what happened and since I'm still not quite awake yet I'm not going to mess with it too much yet. I'm not sure why I'm up so early, I'm still really tired and Skyler's not even awake yet. It seems every morning I wake up super early and sneeze a hundred times before I can go back to sleep, and this morning I still haven't gone back to sleep yet. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know what's going on with the weird background. I'm going to try to go back to sleep now.

Got Milk?

Thanks for the encouragement everyone, it helps a lot. I've also found some new blogs recently about parents dealing with bigger issues than Skyler's and I remember to be grateful that his problems are not as bad as they could be. While I know at the same time there are people thinking "I have it bad but at least my kid isn't blind!" this makes me laugh, in a good way. If we can make some people feel less bad about whatever problems they have well that's good. I imagine that I could be sitting across from someone else whose kid has different special needs and both of us could be thinking "well, at least my child doesn't have her child's needs." I think this is simply because we grow accustomed to what we have to deal with every day. And yes, some people have more things to deal with in a day.

Moving on, today I went to Baby & Me. It's the same group I started to go to when I was 8 weeks pregnant with Skyler. You can keep going up until your baby is a year old and then you have to find another group, but since they don't have childcare yet, and Skyler isn't as mobile as most toddlers his age the group co-ordinator (who knows us well) said she'd make an exception. I had to reregister and fill out the forms for the little whatsit and its due date. In the beginning of the group we all sit in a circle and introduce ourselves and talk about our due date/babies. Since most of the people are new since the last time I went I was straight forward. I told them about the little whatsit, and then I said "You may notice my son's eyes cross, that's because he's legally blind." I did this up front right away before anyone had a chance to question/stare/point & gossip.

I got the questions after everyone had settled down and was started in on the snacks. Luckily since I had been upfront people weren't afraid to ask questions in a respectful manner. And it saved me time having to explain it to people one at a time as they showed interest. I think it helped that I was direct, matter-of-fact and I don't have a "poor baby" attitude about it so they didn't seem to show that either. It was nice to go back to a group with other moms, and this time Skyler showed a bit of interest in the other babies. He was really well behaved as usual. And the best part of all, I got milk coupons. I can't have "normal" milk because I'm lactose intolerant, and the milk I buy has the lactose broken down already but it's about $5 for a two litre. So milk coupons = free milk = awesome.

So that's what's new with us. I hope you are doing well.

20 Months

Tomorrow Skyler will be 20 months old. I'm excited, I can't believe he's going to be two in four months. That seems crazy. And he's still not walking on his own. I'm trying to be positive about it. It seems like he's heading towards it, but then, nothing ever happens he just keeps crawling and using the tables. And we keep getting asked (by family no less) "Is he walking yet??" It's starting to make me feel like I'm a bad parent. We've been working on the same exercises, the same activities suggested by the PT and the OT for months, and still nothing. It feels like I'm just not doing enough to help him trust himself to walk.

We have OT again tomorrow, I'm hoping to bring up the issue, again and see if there's anything new we can try. She has faith that he'll walk on his own soon. She doesn't want to bring in a walker or anything like that because he might become dependent on that and he seems to be so close to walking on his own. So I guess I just sit here, try to remind myself that he will do things in his own time on his own schedule and that's just the way it has to be. But sometimes, it's hard being the parent. I know I'm more upset about it than he is. He gets where he's going eventually even without walking so he doesn't seem to care much. I'm sure if I didn't have people breathing down my neck about when he's going to be walking I wouldn't care so much either. I'm just tired of explaining to people that he has no depth perception. They just keep asking anyway. Oh well, what can you do.

Guest Post

I was asked to do a guest post over on BLOOM, a blog that I've been following for a while. It's a wonderful site and the webmaster/author has a child with special needs herself. This is the post I wrote here. It's about our decision to have another child after having Skyler who (obviously) has special needs.

As for me, today I am trying to work up some energy and maybe I'll take Skyler to the wading pool close by for a bit or something. He hasn't quite been himself the last few days, I think he has a start of a cold or he's having a bad reaction to mosquito bites. On Saturday he just slept all day basically, woke up to eat breakfast, lunch, and then dinner, but aside from that was sleeping the day away. Then yesterday he was himself in the morning but when he woke up from his nap he was miserable and screaming and crying at everything which is not like him at all. I had planned on going to my mom's in the afternoon when C went to work so I almost called her and said we couldn't go. But in the end I decided I would rather have some support if he was in such a bad mood than be sitting at home with him alone while he screamed.

Turned out he was much happier at grama's house. As soon as he got there he stopped the crying/screaming bit and happily made himself busy exploring and playing with the cats. He also showed some love to grama by calling her name, pointing at her and giving her a kiss! (We'll just not mention all the hair pulling and yelling "AGH!" he did at her while he was there okay?). My mom and I talked about Christmas time and how Skyler will be two. It's pretty insane to think he's not going to be my little baby for much longer, he already thinks he's a toddler (and I guess he is..) and I'm sure the Christmas tree is going to be of much interest to him this year, with it's glittery ornaments, shiny lights and his ability to crawl super fast and pull to standing..


And as for the mystery in my tummy, it's making me quite sleepy and sometimes nauseous still. I'm starting to get a bit antsy about going back to work in September to be honest. I'm wondering if it's such a good idea to be working with children while .... you know, assuming I am still which I hope I am. I love my job don't get me wrong, it's just that schools and daycares are where you pick up the most illnesses.. Sigh, not sure what to do here, but I'm going to think on it. Maybe I'll do some meditation about it, that seems to help me. I hope you all are doing well.

Wading Pool Fun

I took Skyler to my nana's today for lunch. She made us delicious homemade mince and tatties. It's a simple Scottish dish, but it's my favourite comfort food so I was delighted. As was Skyler, he stuffed his face with fist after fist of ground beef, mashed potatoes and peas. We had walked to my nan's and it was a nice 26 degrees celcius outside (so a bit warm, not sure what that is in farenheit 90 something I think?) and I was feeling the heat. It's 4.2 km away from me, not sure what that is in miles, but it's a fair walk. It's a good thing she has air conditioning. We stayed and chatted for a bit until Skyler started to get tired then we headed back into the heat for a walk so he could take a nap in the stroller.From my nan's we walked a bit and then went to a nearby park with a wading pool.

I was excited about taking Skyler to the wading pool for the first time this year. We had taken him last year but he was so little that he didn't really do anything there. This time he was interested and engaged. I was a bit frazzled from walking so long in the heat and I wasn't quite thinking when I changed him into his swim diaper and trunks and just plopped him into the water. He was pretty mad at me, and I don't blame him. I picked him up and put him on my lap and we sat that way for a while until he was ready to dip his toes in. Then he wanted to stand, and was content like that for a while, standing in the water, kicking it and holding onto my legs just barely.

It was then that I heard a girl next to us talking to her friend "Look at his eyes!" I heard this a few times as the girls talked to each other, pointing at my baby. I must say normally the younger ones don't bother me much and I can handle it easily. Today though I guess the heat had gotten to me and the girls were older, about 9 or so (I'm used to the kinder/grade 1 crowd). I found myself saying very bluntly over the sound of the rushing water "He's blind." Their parents were nowhere to be seen. The girl who had been pointing simply said "Oh." then she turned back to her friend and I turned back to my baby and I heard her say to her friend "Oh I feel so bad for him!" a few times. I basically rolled my eyes to myself and muttered that he was fine.

They wandered back into the pool and went swimming. A little while later the girl came back and now she had some actual questions about whether or not he could see anything at all, and she told he me was cute. I admit that then I softened. I really don't mind when kids come and ask questions. It was the staring, pointing and talking about him that got to me. I was glad to answer her questions and she brought a little girl (who looked about two) to come and sit by us and was much nicer, telling the little girl to look at the cute baby. That I didn't mind. I also had another odd experience today when some guy rode past me on a bike and said "Hello mama. Beautiful." as he went by. Ew. Totally creepy.


After a little while of sitting there at the edge of the pool, C got off work (he's working days today and tomorrow) at about 4 and came to meet us at the park since it's right by his work. He even brought us some food and the picnic blanket. Skyler got much more interested in the water when daddy showed up and I took out the camera to take some pictures of him wading for the first time and playing with the water. All in all it was a lovely Friday with my family by the pool.

He Likes That

Quick update on things: the appt went well, they took five vials of blood. And they retested for me and confirmed. We scheduled the next one for the end of Aug.

I Like That

Still here, and it seems to be still here so far too. It's only been like a day, but hey, every day adds up. I'm feeling tired, sometimes slightly nauseous, and ravenously hungry. I've been eating like a pig. I made an appt with the NP for tomorrow morning. I guess we'll see how it goes.

Skyler has been entertaining everyone with his most favourite sentence. Every morning I wake up to a chorus of "I like that, I like that, I like that. Yeah, yeah. . .yeah yeah yeah" and the "yeah"s are sung. He has made it into a song. It's pretty adorable. All day long as he's playing with toys "I like that!" as he's putting his shorts on his head to wear as a hat "I like that!" and his personal favourite every time I sneeze or blow my nose (which is unfortunately frequent) he giggles and says "I like that!". It's kind of funny to have a small person "liking" every time you sneeze. It's a good thing he's not on facebook or he'd be liking everyone's status and their comments too. He's practiced saying it so much that he's got it down almost perfect now.

If my camera hadn't broke on the last of school I would take a video of him saying it for you cause it's so funny and cute. I'll have to use C's camera.

Oh and I wanted to tell you guys about the phones that C got us. He is a technogeek and always wanting to spend money unnecessarily on things I usually don't think we need. Well he wanted a wireless phone set for our home phone that cost $100 (on sale from $160). At first I thought this is absurd, we already have working phones. But he pointed out that they were from the year 2000, and he'd make sure I got to buy something frivolous too. (And we won $100 on a lottery ticket like a week later so that was cool) Anyway I said fine whatever get your silly phones.

So we brought them home and he charged them up. So let me tell you a bit about them. There are four phones and a main base, and 3 other smaller bases (one for each phone). He mounted them around the apartment so we have a phone in each bedroom etc. Anyway you can program it, so all the numbers in the main phone show up in all the phones, it has an answering machine, and a bunch of other features that are kind of neat (including a bunch of alarms that say "it's time for dinner" "it's time for lunch", "it's time for bed" etc. Kind of creepy and awesome at the same time and I'll tell you why in a minute).

My favourite feature of all, one that C didn't even realize it had is that the main base actually tells you out loud who is calling. If the number is programmed into your phone with a name the main base will say "Call from mom." after each ring until you answer the phone or ignore the call. If the number is not programmed into your phone it will say "Call from 555-7891" and it says each number clearly so you can listen to see if you recognize it or not. Now why is this even remotely interesting you ask? Because we have a blind child of course. As he gets older he may eventually want to use the phone, and having a phone that automatically tells you who is calling, so that you don't have to look at the screen is fantastic! He can hear right away if it's grandma calling or whoever and he can decide if he wants to answer the phone.

It also has an option to block numbers. Annoying telemarketer calling you at all hours? Block their number! Everytime they call it will give them a busy signal and then disconnect on them. Fortunately we don't have any stalkers but we do get calls from time to time from a number that comes up as "000-000-0000" which is always some sort of telemarketer. So that's useful as well. But also the alarm feature that tells you when it's dinner time/bed time/whatever I could see that being useful for independent living for someone who is blind or even someone with other special needs. Overall I'm glad we spent the $100 on these phones, and the way I think of it is each handset cost $25, well worth it in my opinion if it's going to be helpful for Skyler. I'll just write them off as "assistive technology" because really they are! Hmm I wonder if my nana could use them as she's 82 and is now legally blind..

New Beginnings Indeed

I'm hesitant to announce it on here.. but there may be something I just found out this morning.. something in the very early stages. I don't want to jinx it, but I believe that whatever will be will be.. So here's hoping it sticks.

Be The Change

In light of an event that recently happened in my personal life I have been reminded that we should be the change we want to see in others. And I've decided that I want to challenge myself to do at least one random act of kindness or good-deed each day. I know that I'm usually polite, and helpful to everyone I encounter, but I want to do more. I want to make sure that I am setting a good example for my child. He needs to learn that it is the right thing to do to help people out even if it just means stopping to hold the door for someone or offering to walk an elderly person to their car. (I've done both those things of course). I'm afraid with all the people in the world who seem to only care for themselves and laugh at the misfortune of others that my son might get the wrong idea.

I know he's still quite young, but it's never a bad thing to start early. I want to show others too, even adults, that it's still a good thing to treat people nicely and to offer help when it looks like someone could use it. On Canada day I saw a little girl crying on the street, surrounded by many people just walking by, she seemed to be all alone so I stopped and asked if she was lost. Her dad/caregiver turned around (he was at least 5-6 feet away) and put his hand out for her at this point, but I was left feeling uneasy nonetheless. It seems the little girl was having a fit I guess, and the caregiver was walking away, with his back turned to her, and there was a street full of people! It was a street festival (meaning tons of people, loud music, etc.) She was small, no more than 3 I'd say, he could have easily carried her. However he may have had his reasons for leaving her behind sitting on the pavement crying.. I just don't think I could do that as a parent personally. In a large crowd of people I want him by my side at all times.

Anyway, what kind of random good deeds have you done? Or what kind of good deeds have others done for you?

Overprotected

I was reading a post on another blog yesterday, it was by a parent of a child with special needs. It was talking about being an overprotective parent. I was reading this and wondering, am I overprotective?

I like to think the answer is no and yes. When it comes to the things that typical kids do that may get my son hurt (think anything with movement involved) I think no, I don't want to be someone who will stop him and tell him 'no you can't do that because you're blind'. I want him to have a tricycle, I want him to play soccer (if he wants to) and do all those things that typical kids do that might cause him to fall down or run into things or whatever. Those bruises, scrapes, cuts, and owwies are going to be a part of his life and I don't think you can wrap your child in bubble wrap and make sure they don't get hurt because it's just going to take away their childhood and they'll never know how to take risks. Of course when it comes to things that are just too dangerous and could cause serious injury well then yeah I will put my foot down.

And then on the other hand, am I overprotective of him when it comes to other people? I hope so. What I mean is when it comes to leaving my child with someone I don't know I'm very wary. You could tell me they have all the childcare training in the world and I wouldn't be comfortable leaving him with them. I have to get to know the person, I have to sit with them for a while, see how they interact with my son and other children. I have to know what their attitude is. And I have to see that they know how to interact with someone who is blind, and that they know what to do when he gets sick or if he starts to seize. I have to trust that that person will call me immediately and ask me what to do, even if they have the training. So yes, in that sense I think I am overprotective and I'm okay with that.

How about you? Are you overprotective of your little one?

Btw: Happy Canada Day! It was yesterday, but still :P

The End is Always a New Beginning

Today was the last day of kindergarten. I have one more day of work, tomorrow, and it's an inservice day so half of my kids won't be there. So I had to say goodbye to most of them today. It was very sad. So happy to have my summer off though.

In other news, we got invited to a garden event with the Queen of England on Saturday. My mom made me buy a new dress. I'm not like a huge British monarch buff or anything but it's still pretty cool. And the dress bit segues into my next thing.

Last night I designed, cut, and sewed my handfasting (like a wedding) dress. It's dark blue with a light blue sash. I wanted red, but I already had the blue satin, it had been sitting in my craft closet for a few years. Plus blue is my favourite colour and for a cost of $2.50 (for the elastic) to make my dress you just can't go wrong. Don't mind how tired I look in the pictures. I had just worked all morning, took care of the baby all afternoon, cooked, cleaned and then sewed a dress so I was a little worn out.


In Skyler news, he's saying "I like that" now. It's the cutest thing, and it sounds so clear too. Even his nursery teacher at church heard him say it. She said it was so cute and funny to hear him say that. He's seeing a lot of things for a blind kid, his OT is impressed as usual. He's even stood on his own (for about 15-20 seconds each time) twice in the past week! He even did it while his OT was here. So that was awesome.

We've finally moved everything into the new apartment but there's just not enough room in here for everything so it kind of looks like our living room is a still shot from that Hoarders show. It's mostly bookshelf stuff since our bookshelf basically disintegrated when we tried to move it. We need to buy a new one, but C is always working when I'm not and vice versa. Hopefully Friday we'll be able to get a new one. I have Thursday off of course but it's Canada Day so I doubt anything will be open. I plan to go to a street festival with my mom and Sky on Canada Day.

Anyway there's a ton to say I'm sure, but I have to brave the lovely weather to get to the store. So I leave you with a picture of Sky stuffing his face at his auntie's graduation party.

More News

Skyler is learning more and more each day. I'm so proud to be his mommy. I'm thrilled that he knows that the garbage can and the toilet are "yuck" though the other day I was folding laundry and he was wandering around as he does, and I hear "yuck. yuck. yuck." I turn around and look into the bathroom where my little man is attempting to lift the lid and stick his hands into the toilet bowl. Kind of makes me think he's not quite getting what "yuck" actually means even though he clearly knows that certain things are yuck. Haha.

His vocabulary now consists of: yeah, no, mum, dad, up, down, kiss, cat, meow, knock, door, duck, quack, Skyler, grama, and cut. There's more I'm sure, but I can't recall each word at the moment, I know he learned how to say "cut" today as I was holding him near the aluminum blinds and told him he couldn't play with them because he might get cut. He then started yelling "cut! cut! cut!". He's learning all sorts of new things. Today he finally used his red car to walk with! I was so excited. He's finally starting to balance better on his own. It's awesome.

I can't wait until June is done, so close now! Loving the new apartment, still have a few things in the old one, as soon as C and I have some free time we'll probably be able to move the rest over here. I hope you are all doing well!

Home Is Where Your Heart Is, But Also Where Your Stuff Is

It feels like it's been forever. We are finally living in the new apartment, though some of our stuff is still in the old one. We moved last night we now have a living room over here. We still have to move the baby's dresser, most of our clothes, the bathroom stuff, and the pots & pans etc. But for the most part we're moved, and the apartment looks great. I love it already, part of me though is sad about moving from our old apartment. I liked it there, it was familiar, the dining area was bigger, but oh well. I am sure there are tons of new memories to be made here. The living room looks much nicer here. I even made Skyler his own reading corner in the living room, it's cute.

In Skyler news, the monster has been quite cranky the last two days. I'm pretty sure it's because of the move though so I'm hoping that levels out soon. He's been pretty good this morning, he's just mapping out the new apartment now that we added furniture. Before he was pretty good at finding everything but we snuck in the furniture last night while he was sleeping so things have changed a bit. Yesterday I crocheted him a new hat, because the "summer" weather we've been getting so far this year has been deplorable. Nothing but nonstop thunderstorms, rain, clouds and seriously cold temperatures. So I made him a new hat I used two different strands of yarn at the same time to make it double thick. It should last him through the coming fall and winter as long as his head doesn't grow too much.


Anyway I hope you all are well. I'll update again soon hopefully, assuming time doesn't slip away from me too quickly.

The Verdict Is In

Yesterday morning I was trying to wake C up so we could take Sky to his appointment. So I'm saying "Chuck! Chuck! Wake up!" And I hear this echo, (but slightly different version) of "Quack! Quack! Dadaa!" and then a small person goes crawling quickly over to his dad to wake him up. I cracked up, the poor kid can't make a "ch" sound yet, but he knows his dad's name, and is making an effort to say it. Haha, and poor daddy is now known as quack.

Now on to the important stuff. Yesterday we saw endocrinologist number 4. First meeting with her, and I have to say I liked her the most of all of them. I told her I was worried about him gaining and then losing, or basically staying the same weight for so long. She reassuringly told me not to worry, it's only been 3 months, he's a toddler, he's got teeth coming in it's okay. He has grown in height and is growing perfectly on the scale for a "petite" person. Which is fine, both C and I are pretty short, and we were pretty small as kids too. So he's doing great. She said his bloodwork came back from the last bloodtest and was all good so we don't have to do any bloodwork until 4 months from now at the next appointment. And we're just going to keep an eye on his height and see if he stops growing.

She also said that her and the other two female endocrinologists will be working as Skyler's team and that any decisions they make regarding the human growth hormone will be made as a team. She said three minds are better than one. She also noted that we're (Chuck & I) the specialists when it comes to our son. She was warm and kind and smiled a lot and said she wished she could see Skyler every week because he's just so cute. So she gets points in my book for that. We also found out as we grabbed a card on the way out that she's the medical director for the pediatric endocrinology clinic. Bonus. Of the other two doctors we're seeing on the team we have met one and she was lovely, we haven't met the last one yet, but hopefully she's just as nice.

Skyler's appetite seems to be coming back somewhat now that his teeth have broken through, so that's a relief. Hopefully he'll go back to wanting to eat everything in sight again. And this morning he reminded me again that he is no longer a baby. He woke up at 4am and I changed him and brought him to the couch with me for some cuddles. My child has no interest whatsoever in cuddling. Used to be he'd snuggle up and breastfeed, when he was a baby. This child wants nothing to do with that, but he's more than happy to step on my head and anything else that might be in his way. Ahh toddlers. Always on the way to their next big adventure.

Wow

Things have been slightly stressful over here to say the least. The apartment is still not finished being upgraded or whatever you want to call it. Our tub was done today, the hardwoods are getting done tomorrow, the fridge and stove on Wednesday and the carpet on Thursday. We've been living in two apartments for the last week or so and it's making me insane. At first it was slightly neat, but the novelty has worn off. I would like to be in one place now. Right now we're back in the old apartment (minus our bed which we have to go move tonight into the living room of the other apartment because they're doing the floor in the bedroom over there tomorrow) so we're on the couches, and we moved Skyler's crib back in here for the time being. PAIN IN THE BUTT. Sorry, had to get that out of my system.

I've been having headaches the last 4 or 5 days and I don't know why. Stress maybe? But I've been way more stressed in the past and not had headaches. I don't usually get them so it's odd for me. Time is ticking on the school year, we'll be done in less than a month now. I have mixed feelings. I really do like my new supervisor, so the last few months have been good. I'm really going to miss the kids, but at the same time, wonderful glorious freedom! And I won't have to hear my name whined at me a million times a day for petty things, which is always a plus. I'm still going to miss them though. I'm working on a slideshow of our year together for the kids to take home as sort of a kindergarten grad present. It's looking pretty cute so far.

Skyler is talking and comprehending more. I love it. He is still on the duck and quack thing. He now will point out his rubber duck every time we enter the bathroom, and the ducks on the garbage can which I didn't even notice at first. He will say quack and duck whenever he sees them or whenever we go in the bathroom at all. He also says "Yay!" which is pretty cute. Oh and I learned yesterday that while giving Skyler a bath is like going to Seaw.orld because you're not in the water but you'll still get wet, that taking a shower with Skyler around is like telling him that he's going to Seaw.orld and he'll want to get wet even though he's already taken his bath for the day. I went to shower yesterday and he went straight from the bedroom to the bathroom as soon as the water turned on, and he flung open the curtain and laughed (thanks for the confidence boost kid! :P) and every time I tried to close it he just opened it again.

He's still 19 pounds, even though he has been eating and getting formula supplements when he doesn't eat as much(and sometimes even if he does) and we have endocrine tomorrow. I'm so not looking forward to it.. I'm betting the reason he isn't gaining weight is because of the meds he's on (steroids and thyroxine, they both can cause weight gain or loss) but I doubt the doctors will take that as a reason. It's likely going to be time to do the 8 hour blood test for HGH since he hasn't even gained a single pound in 4 months. Sigh. I guess we shall find out tomorrow. Fortunately I have tomorrow and Wednesday off since my kinders will be in kindergarten all morning instead of with me on Wednesday. Hopefully the appointment will go well.

Other Skyler news, I'm not sure of the exact reason but it seems that Skyler is seeing more lately. It could be that he is just developing and his eyes too are developing more, or maybe it's the patching that seems to be causing him to use both eyes a lot more while looking recently or his brain is connecting the other things and filling in the blanks for what he can't see, or maybe it's something else altogether but he is seeing more things/further away than he used to. I'll be passing by something while holding him and he'll reach out and try to grab even though in the past he had no clue it was there. Very exciting stuff! We have OT on Friday I'm excited to see what our OT thinks of this new development. All in all it's a busy week. I hope you all are well. And now your reward for skimming through this post:

Baby with an eyepatch!

He sure loves the sand! Gotta take him to a beach one of these days.

Screaming Phase

My little man thinks everything is a walking toy, which is awesome. He's constantly screaming at the top of his lungs when things don't do exactly what he wants them to (which is not so awesome). Such as yesterday during his half hour eye patch tv time he was desperately trying to reach Gro.ver on the screen which is just a bit too high for him, so how to solve this problem? Screech like a banshee, that should help right? It was kind of funny if I pretended I hadn't been listening to him scream all afternoon because of the various little things that tick him off in a given day. He also has 4 teeth breaking through the gums right now, might be part of his reasoning for the screaming. Also yesterday he would not touch anything I tried to feed to him. What did he want to eat? French fries, at midnight. GAH my child. Delicious vegetable stir-fry with turkey made by daddy? No thanks, I'd rather have junk food. We're trying to supplement him with toddler formula again since he has made literally no weight gain in the last two months.

And we are currently in the process of moving. Next door. Our new apartment is the apartment right next to us so moving is fun, in a kind of annoying way. If the company that owns the building had bothered to get the repairs done on time we could be moved in already, but as it is we're waiting on a new stove, new fridge, new carpets, new hardwood floors (which they said will likely take more than two months.. sigh) and they have to paint the entire suite before we can move in. So we've moved some of our stuff over, but not all of it and it's kind of frustrating. Yesterday I went to heat up some food and remembered the microwave is next door.

Skyler of course is not exactly thrilled about what's going on yet as he mainly doesn't know. His room is still pretty much empty because we need them to paint it first before we can put his stuff in it. I'm thinking it will be a big adjustment for him when we finally do get to move in because he's a little guy and it's a big change, but then you factor in the blindness and that he has to relearn the entire layout of his home and everything, it should be interesting. He's figured out how to draw with markers now and he loves colouring on himself and finger painting on his new desk is always fun. I've decided that when his room is done I'm going to put up poster board all along the bottom of the wall so that Skyler can decorate his room however he wants without ruining the walls.

Also the day before yesterday he rode his little red car by himself for the first time ever. He finally figured out how to make it go, normally he just sits there wondering why I put him on such a boring toy. Well now he is cruising up and down the hallways. Today he even figured out how to turn. It doesn't have pedals so it's pretty slow moving and it's almost impossible to turn, but he found a way, he just stands up and moves it until it turns or he starts screaming until I turn it for him.

So of course my next thought was "Oh that's soo cute! He needs a tricycle next!" Which was immediately followed by "Hmm wait a second is putting a blind kid on a trike such a good idea?" He can't see where he's going at all, and giving him something that he can speed around on may cause all sorts of injuries and mayhem. I can just picture him crashing headfirst into every wall, and every piece of furniture, not to mention people's legs. Also the thought of him outside on something with wheels gives me a heart attack. I'd be terrified of him speeding away from me and off into the street. And yet despite all of this I think I'm still going to get the kid a tricycle. Every kid deserves a trike, and besides, it's not like anyone's going to let him have a driver's license. Might as well let him learn how to use the only set of wheels he can legally drive.

We'll just have to get him one of those little bells so he can warn people when he's coming. And I'll just have to find a yard with a fence that he can drive in. And even sighted kids crash into things from time to time, he'll just have to learn where things are.

Oh and one more thing I have to share with you. Five year olds are hilarious. One of my kindergarten kids said this at the snack table yesterday: "I know why God is invisible. It's because he's naked.. And no one wants to see that."

I Just Go On and On

So what's new with us?

Skyler seems to think he's in the terrible two stage already and it doesn't help that he's cutting 3 new teeth. He's been furious about everything, and he's getting violent. He keeps hitting and scratching and screaming, even though we do the gentle but firm "we don't hit/scratch, it hurts." etc. I know it's just a phase and it will pass and I love him so much, I just hope to keep a thread of my sanity through it.

There have been many positive things too though. The reason they call it the terrible twos is because the child begins to assert independence. Which to me is really awesome. He's saying more words, including "up" which he uses every morning when I come into the room and he's standing in the crib. He knows that when he wants to be picked up he just needs to tell us "up" and we'll oblige. He recognizes things, like his rubber duck. I handed it to him in the bath the other day without a word and he said "duck!" He's climbing all over the place, and using everything he can find as a push toy to walk with. He's able to point out where mommy and daddy's noses are when asked. All these things make me swell with happiness, children with septo-optic dysplasia often have intellectual disabilities ranging from mild to severe. His ability to recognize objects and point to things when asked and even name some of them gives me so much hope. I know I will love him for who he is no matter what, but it makes my heart dance with joy when he says new words and does new things.

I haven't been online much because Skyler and I have started our "preschool home school curriculum" or whatever you want to call it. We start off each afternoon with a little rhyme, followed by some songs and sometimes a story, and then I provide him with different activities to choose from or he can choose his own. I don't make him do anything, but I do bring out different toys or activities that he normally wouldn't have. Like crayons or paint and paper (we don't leave those lying around for him, for obvious reasons) or a piece of string to play with (it's good for his fine motor/pincer grasp). Things that might normally be "forbidden" for safety reasons. I like this time because he gets to try something different under close supervision while I talk to him and tell him what's going on and make sure he's not going to choke or get hurt. The lesson plan I made also gives me an idea of what to do for each day, otherwise I'd sit there staring at him, because most of the time I haven't had enough sleep the night before to form a coherent thought let alone come up with an idea for an activity or song to sing.

He loves the "circle time" we do at the beginning when I sing to him, and he dances and sometimes will sing along. This is usually followed by a story where he likes to turn the pages for me. We have our little routine worked out. It starts usually with lunch, then a bath if lunch was particularly messy as it sometimes is (and he now refuses to eat at the kitchen table, more on that in a minute) and then a bottle while I put on his eye patch. We do his preschool stuff, he wears the patch for two hours (which now goes on without a fuss and he manages the full two hours like a pro) and I will sometimes let him watch half an hour of tv, while standing so close that any normal mother would say "move back you're gonna wreck your eyes". Of course I say no such thing as I know that letting him watch tv for a little bit while wearing the patch will help strengthen his weaker eye because it gives him something to focus on and makes his eye work a bit more.

After we take the patch off it's usually about 5 or 5:30 and time for dinner. The last few days he has screamed bloody murder every time I try to put him in the booster seat/chair (and the stroller..) and it's quite obvious to me that it's because he is just far too busy to be tied down to a chair to eat. So we've begun taking meals on the floor. So much for sitting together at the table. But you have to make sacrifices when you have a toddler. Feeding him on the floor works as he's able to wander away after a few bites and then come back to it. It's a pain though because most meals require some sort of cooked meat or dairy and I don't want it to spoil while he is off wandering around and then there's the whole choking hazard thing. I'm just trying to work through this phase while we look for the right toddler sized table and chair set for him. I'm hoping we can get him his own table for eating and crafts so that he might not have to eat off the floor.

We did buy him a small desk/easel today. It's not quite appropriate for eating off of, but it is cute and it has a clip for his paper and he's shown an interest in it already. I'm thinking it will be ideal for finger painting, and maybe colouring with markers when he's a bit older. Lately he's been very interested in my keyboard (musical one not computer, though he likes that too) and we've been working on playing music together. I love that the keys on my keyboard light up. And it has an option to teach you how to play different songs. It will light up each key as you're supposed to press it and wait for you to do so. Skyler will actually on occassion follow the lit up keys and try to play a song. It's so cute.

Anyway I'm sure there's more to say but as of late Skyler doesn't remember what "bed time" means and he's screaming again in his crib. So I'd better go and figure out what to do.

Yar! Here There Be Treasure

Where have I been all this time? Floating through the days in a daze I suppose. Skyler is doing new things! He has two new words, duck and quack. Coincidence? I think not. He loves to play with his rubber ducks while he sits on the potty, before and after he brushes his teeth. He has several rubber ducks, and we often sing that song about the five litt.le du.cks. You know the one you may remember as the song that made me start sobbing when I was all tripped out on hormones after having him. Haha. Also tonight at the dinner table I kept singing some random melody using only his name over and over and he tried to repeat it and was saying "Kyeh"! That's almost his name. Sort of. Good enough for me anyway.

(Shown here, brushing said teeth. Of which he now has five.)

AND my child is so odd, I love him to bits. We have one of those walking toys (it's a red car that turns into a riding toy, has wheels you push it while you walk, blah blah blah) PT and OT are always asking about that toy because he's not walking on his own yet and it will encourage him. Well I can't get him to use it as a walking toy for the life of me. He will gladly sit and push all the buttons, make it sing all the songs, but the second you try to stand him near it he sits down on his butt. Usually indignant that you would try such a thing. Anyway long story short, I was standing in the kitchen trying to quickly get some dishes done, when he starts ambling over to me, pushing not his toy car but our portable barbeque that we took out of storage the other day. It has a lid with a handle on it and I guess the handle was like the perfect thing because he wouldn't let go of it, even when he kept walking the thing into walls and getting down right p*ssed off about it.

He's really started to become more interested in the world around him in the past week alone. I took him to a play group on Friday with C and normally he would just sit in one spot at these things, clinging to me. But this time he took off, finding every new toy he could, sitting close to new babies/toddlers he'd never met before. He was enthralled. Normally he won't touch anything unfamiliar or even go near it, but now he is all over the place exploring. He also does this weird thing where he moves in a complete circle around an object. I'm thinking he is doing it because he wants to see the entire thing from every angle since he can't see it all at once. He's so smart.

I took him to my mom's on Tuesday and he explored her place like never before, and he found something we don't have at home: stairs. Fortunately we were on the ball and he never got a chance to try them out (or fall down them), maybe next time I'll let him investigate, but for now I'm going with the safer choices. My mom has two cats, one that we've had since I was 14 and one that I got when I lived with my ex. Skyler normally could care less about said creatures, but this time he saw something moving.. he felt something furry, and those cats were not safe. He crawled faster than I'd ever seen him crawl trying to get a hold of those cats. They're pretty calm so they mostly laid there while he petted them gently (and possibly pulled a tail a couple times).

Now on to the most important part of our week. Yesterday was opthalmology. Dr said he's confident Skyler can see out of both eyes, but the left eye is a dominant. It's not really bad, he is still using both eyes, but as he explained sometimes with nystagmus the person will cross the eyes to look at something up close because it makes their eyes stop wiggling and makes the object easier to see. But the issue here is that he is crossing the right one in a bit more than the left. So you know what that means. Pirate baby! Yesterday was our first day patching. We bought the patches right after the appointment and tried it out. The doctor said he didn't expect Sky to let us patch him for the full two hours a day at first, he said not to worry if we started out with 15-30 mins a day for the first while.

Skyler surprised us though. He was mad when we put the patch on (who wouldn't be? we're putting something sticky on his face, and taking away the sight in his better eye) but he calmed down after 5 minutes (and possibly some milk :) and was fine for the entire two hours. Both yesterday and today when we patched him. The only problem so far is the patches (nex.tech or whatever they're called) stuck to him really bad when we went to take it off. Yesterday it was awful, worse than ripping off a bandaid and he had glue on his face even after his bath. Today it wasn't as bad. I'm looking into other brands. So far I've seen a few that interest me, but I may have to order them in because our local stores don't seem to carry too many options for toddler size eye patches.

And that's how my week has been going (in as brief a synopsis as I can manage.) how about you?

Saturday in the Countryside

Yesterday we woke up at noon (almost. It was 11:45) packed up the baby, some bottles, and some lunch and headed out into the wilderness. We drove for 2 and a half hours to the goose sanctuary out in one of the provincial parks. It was lovely. We spent the day together as a family enjoying the gorgeous weather. It was much too nice to stay inside. We took a long hike around the beautiful lake where the geese live. As you can see Skyler had a great time, even though he hates putting on sunscreen.

I hope each one of you had lovely weekend as well!

Moving

Cleaning, organizing, purging and packing are all still underway around here. I find I'm way too easily distracted. I'll be cleaning one closet, then the next minute I remember the diaper liners need to be washed, then I wash those, and then as I'm about to rinse and hang them to dry Skyler wants to play so I wander off to play with him. Then I'm playing for a little bit and remember the dishes need to be washed. And on and on it goes. I'm wondering how I will ever get anything done the way I keep starting things and wandering off to start other tasks. I'm thinking I may need a timer to keep me on task for a while. The only tricky one is the baby because he needs my attention whether I'm doing something else or not. I'd wait until he goes to bed, but I need to do his room and if he's asleep in there I can't be in there. I'd stick him in the exersaucer for a bit but he'd just scream.

Here's hoping I can get at least one or two tasks completed today. As for Skyler he's doing things at his own pace. He's been standing up a little bit more without holding on to anything (still leaning against things behind him, but I will take it) and lowering himself down nice and slow. I've found some infant/toddler curriculums online and I am using them to make my own "lesson plans". I'm going to be done work at the end of June and I am thinking that at the beginning of June once we move I want to begin homeschooling him. So I want to have some activity ideas for us to do during the day. The idea is Skyler will iniate whatever activity he wants to do and I will be there to talk to him and tell him about what he is doing. And the activities are things I want to have available to him each day so that he can choose whether he wants to do them or not.

Some of them are tactile experiences like playing in the water table or digging in the sand. We did this on Mother's day, we had our own little "Beach Party" while Chuck was at work. I took Skyler outside to the park next door where he played in the sand, then since the weather was not beach friendly at all we went back inside and I filled a tupperware tub with water and bubbles and he splashed to his heart's content. Other activities will be ongoing like singing songs and clapping and dancing to music and reading stories. I'd love to let him pick the books to read but he still has little interest in that. Though he will sit and roll a ball back and forth with me for a good 20 minutes and even go to find his ball if I ask him where it is. He's got his own interests, which is awesome.

Cloth diapers are still going well. Most nights we use disposables mainly because both cloth diapers are washed and still drying by bedtime. We still need to pick up a few more, but the store is only open Wednesday to Saturday and we still are short on cash so I'm contemplating what to do. Try to make it with only 2 cloth diapers? Buy another pack of disposables? Buy one or two more cloth diapers? Hmm. I think with luck we might be able to make it to the end of the month before we need to buy more.. We shall see I suppose.

On the 19th Skyler has his opthalmology appointment, and he turns one and a half. It's amazing he will be 18 months, I can hardly fathom. His sight is quite amazing too, I'm noticing him seeing tiny white crumbs on the white linoleum (things I can hardly even see!) and he will go find his ball half way across the room (mind you it's huge and blue, and he might just remember where he pushed it last, but still). He is very visually engaged, he loves exploring things visually and tactually. I'm so lucky to be his mommy.

Day Three of Cloth Diapering

It's day three and my only complaint about cloth diapering so far is Not enough diapers! In other words I didn't buy enough, which is due largely in part to us having to pay rent for two apartments and not having enough money to buy much of anything. So today cloth diapering is going well, except that he got one diaper dirty, and then peed through the liner of the second one (I didn't put enough liners in, oops) so they are both just drying right now. He should be back in a cloth diaper in an hour or so hopefully.

In other news we probably got the apartment, I think we will know next week. I'm already making plans for how I want to arrange things and how I want to schedule my time. I think it will be much easier to spend time with Skyler in the new apartment. He will have his own room which I am planning on making a completely baby-safe zone. I want him to be able to wander around his room alone if need be without getting into trouble, hurting himself, or eating something he shouldn't. The way things are now (he's in our room and we're in the living room) are not working, I can't let him have free reign anywhere in the apartment because there's just too much he can get into.

The reason he needs to be okay in his room alone is because he will be switching to a toddler bed/mattress on the floor in the near future and I want to know that if he gets up in the night and wanders around his room that there's nothing in there that can hurt him. My plan for the new place is to have "closed door" time with Skyler. Meaning I would leave all my distractions in the living room or wherever, go into Skyler's room with him and close the door and just spend an hour or two with him exploring, singing and reading to him. I want to be able to give him my full attention. I find that right now as it is I'll be singing to him or playing with him and then glance over to the kitchen and remember I have a sink full of dishes to do. So I get up to do the dishes. Or I'll remember the laundry, or someone will text me, or I'll get a message on facebook. You get the idea. There are too many distractions, and I want him to have my undivided attention.

I'm thinking this way we will have a good chunk of time to work on his skills together and maybe I will be able to help him gain some confidence with standing, or get him to start using some words. It doesn't really matter I suppose as long as we are having fun spending time together and I'm not being pulled away by other things which are really less important anyway. I'm also looking forward to having our own room where Chuck and I can relax and be together. It's been so long since we just laid in our own bed together staring at the ceiling and talking about our day. I think it's getting to me. Here's hoping I can make it through May without too many bumps in the road.

Complaint Department

I know I shouldn't complain. I'm just having one of those days. I know I'm so lucky to have my family and Skyler is so wonderful and precious and beautiful. I don't dispute any of that. I'm just feeling a bit frustrated again that he's going to be 18 months in a few days and still won't stand on his own, let alone walk. He furniture cruises like crazy, which is wonderful, but it's been many many months now and he still hasn't made any progress towards walking. His PT suggested a bunch of different activities and I've been trying to do them with him, but the problem is he doesn't want to. And if you've ever tried to make a baby/toddler do something they don't want to do then you will know what I'm talking about here.

I don't want to force him to do anything before he's ready, and it will all come in good time I know this, he will walk and talk when he is ready to and not before. But as a mommy it's frustrating sometimes. We were standing in the store the other day and there was a little guy, about the same size as Skyler with his grama and mom. The grama says all excitedly to the mommy "Look! He's about to take his first few steps!" as the little guy heads towards Skyler. This little guy is standing perfectly on his own, not holding onto anything of course. I gush at how cute he is and ask how old and they tell me he is just about to turn one. And I think wow, I wish Skyler was standing on his own like that. Then we get to the register and the cashier says he's a big boy. I give my head a shake. "Come again?" She says he looks like a big boy. I inform her that he's actually quite small for his age and she asks how old he is. I tell her he's 18 months and she goes "oh, I thought he was 6 or maybe 8 months." Of course you did...

He only weighs 19 pounds with all his clothes on, he still won't say much aside from dada. He's not signing as much as he used to either. Maybe he's just hit a slump and his development will rocket up in a few months. I don't know. He is curious about his world and is engaged and exploring everything, but I'm just waiting for him to make those next steps. To start trying to communicate more and to walk on his own. I know he was born premature, and he's legally blind, I just have to give him time. I guess he's just not in a rush. I don't know why I feel the way I do. And I know it isn't right to want him to do things before he's ready. He will do it in time. I suppose I just hate that thing that all mothers do. They look at your child and go "My child was walking by 8 months. My child can speak in full sentences. My child solves complicated math equations." And even if you don't come across those parents you still find yourself looking at other babies and thinking "well if all those babies can do that why can't mine? Did I do something wrong? How am I failing my baby??"

I suppose I'm probably just feeling like this because I'm alone this weekend and it's Mother's day on Sunda. Chuck usually has Friday and Saturday off, but some other person booked off the whole weekend so now he has to work 12 days straight and I am left sitting at home by myself all night each night staring at the walls or trying to make Skyler eat something at dinner time, and snack time, and well every hour or so I try to get him to eat something. Tonight he managed to eat two and a half bites of his chicken, two tiny spoonfuls of yogurt and a cereal bar. I'm loading him up on milk and formula trying to make up for the fact that he still doesn't want to eat much of anything.

I apologize for all my whinging. I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day. Maybe I will be able to celebrate all the accomplishments and all the things he CAN do instead of the things he can't. But I honestly think that once in a while we all need to take a few minutes to complain, to get our worries/concerns/annoyances/problems off our chest and maybe take the time to figure out a solution or to find a better way to look at the situation. I hope everyone takes the time to do the same when they need to.

Super Baby

Skyler shows off one of his new cloth diapers. We're on day two now of cloth diapering, and so far I love it. The diapers are adorable, and since we're using liners we don't need to wash the diapers unless he soaks right through. We have a ton of microfibre cloth liners that we tuck into his diaper (two at a time) and once he pees through them we just toss them into the wash pile and put in clean ones and a disposible liner and we're good to go. The diaper itself is sooo soft and he seems to have more movement with it. So far no red lines, no diaper rash, no leaks and no complaints. I'll keep you updated as it goes. Also the colours are just adorable, we got him a bright blue one (in the picture) and a bright red one. When we bought them the shop owner remarked on our choice of "superman" colours. I told her he is our superbaby. We plan on going back on Friday to buy some more since we are loving it so far.

Washing the liners and diapers is no problem. We ran them in a load of laundry to start (with biodegradable specially formulated laundry soap) and dried them in the dryer, and they came out fluffy and clean. And I've been handwashing in the interim and hanging them up to dry. Handwashing them takes only a few minutes and it's easy to do. All in all, I'm loving the cloth diapering thing so far. I can't wait to get him some more tomorrow.

In other news we got (almost) approved for the apartment we applied for. One more step and hopefully we will have a new place to live in June. And I got my course materials from Hadley School for the Blind for my course entitled The Human Eye. Hopefully I can finish my first assignment tonight. I got half way through it and then thought I had better take a nap. Of course Skyler decided to wake up as soon as I almost fell asleep. Sigh. So now I must keep him occupied until bedtime and hopefully then I will be able to finish it.

New Diapers

So the potty training is going well. Skyler seems to be back to normal. He's been sleeping through the night mostly (though he is definitely teething I can see at least one tooth breaking the gums right now.) waking up around 4am here and there though. He's also eating more, but he whines at times because food hurts his gums. With the exception of how he is fed. He will no longer allow you to give him anything on a spoon or put food into his mouth. He has to pick up the food and feed himself. He's definitely increasing his independence.

Now back to potty training, he is still using the potty almost everyday. Most times he will do both 1 & 2 at the same time. He almost always does 2 if nothing else. Which is fantastic. Also we are almost out of size 4 diapers. We have a bag of size 5s left over from the baby shower, which I think we may try using. But running out of diapers has made me realize that we spend way too much on disposables, and that maybe it's time to reconsider our original plan. When I was pregnant with Sky, C and I had decided we would use cloth diapers, but then we got a ton of disposibles from the baby shower, and he was born preemie and there just wasn't a lot of time to figure it all out.

So now, fast forward 18 months I'm thinking of trying it out. The plan is to buy a couple of cloth diapers (two different kinds) and just give it a try for a few weeks. We'll use them during the day and use disposibles at night. That way we'll get a feel for whether or not we want to go full time cloth diapers or just part time. I like that it's better for the earth, better for baby's bottom, and honestly I think cloth diapers are just so much cuter than disposibles. They're a bit more work, but not as much as they used to be when I was a baby. There are a lot more options now. I think I found a couple that sound pretty enticing so far. There's a diaper store in my city I didn't even know about that specializes in cloth diapers. So I've already decided on the ones I want by looking at their website. The only problem is they are closed Mondays and Tuesdays so I have to wait until tomorrow to go pick them up. Sometimes I hate being impatient.

I know they're a bit pricey, and I will need inserts, but I plan on making those myself. Also they pretty much pay for themselves after a few months because that's less disposibles I have to buy each month. And my favourite part is that they can last for years, meaning I can use the same diapers with Skyler's (potential) siblings as I did with Skyler. So if we really like cloth diapering we can add to our collection and then not have to worry about buying more once we have the next baby. I can't wait until tomorrow. Wish me luck. :P

A Bit More Like Normal

Skyler seems to be doing better. Slept all night the last couple nights, with the exception of waking up at 4am for whatever reason to have a diaper change a snack and back to bed. He's been eating, not as much as he used to but more than the last few days. He's very particular about being fed. He won't let you put anything in his mouth, he needs to be in control at all times it seems. Which is fine he is 1 and a half he wants his independence. It means we have to put the food in front of him and let him eat on his own terms, and things like yogurt just aren't working out very well right now because he doesn't have the motor control to feed himself something on a spoon yet. He has tried and succeeded a few times though, but with thicker things. We're still working on it. Many a mess will be made I assure you.

So I have today off and it is of course 6am and I am of course awake and have been for the past hour and a bit. Sleep on my day off? Why ever would I get to do that? I had to get up for Skyler, and well I couldn't fall back asleep yet. I just have too much on my mind. We didn't renew our lease. Today is the last day to do so. We sort of have some idea of where we want to live though so I'm hoping it all works out. It will be nice for Skyler to have his own bedroom, or rather for us to have our own bedroom as Skyler has had ours for the last year just about. The only problem is I don't think our next place will have as much storage as this place does. And we have way too much junk. It's time to downsize and we've been working on it. But it's so hard to do. Oh well, I'm going to keep at it.

Summer will soon be upon us (hopefully) and I'll be done work in two months time. I'm excited to have my summer off with Skyler, I think it's going to be so much fun. I'm going to try to find us some baby groups to go to since most of them are in the mornings and I'm usually at work. We also have some friends with kids who want to hang out this summer. I'm hoping we get some nice weather this year instead of last year where it rained and was cold for pretty much the whole summer. Our weather is so finicky the last few years. It's impossible to predict whether it will be nice or not.

I suppose I should try to go back to bed (if Skyler stays asleep), I hope you all are doing well.

Or Perhaps He's Sick. Duh Me

So yesterday after being up for 24 hours, (me that is.) Skyler who did not sleep at all last night and barely ate anything came out to eat with us at midnight. He had been coughing and sneezing all night, I tried giving him some baby tylenol to help him sleep, no such luck. Anyway he sat with us and ate! It was all going so wonderfully until he started coughing/choking so hard he puked up everything in his little tummy and boy was it a lot. Now in a normal infant no big deal, give fluids, try to get them to rest. In our case we had to wait until he was done puking, administer stress dose of prednisone and watch him like a hawk to make sure he doesn't puke his drugs up or else it's time for an injection and a trip to the hospital.

Fortunately he did not puke again. But he didn't sleep much either. And neither did I. I'd say I've had roughly 8 hours sleep in the last 3 days now. Not sure how I will function at work today but I'm going to try. Luckily yesterday my supervisor offered me Friday off as a sick day. She jokingly said "I can tell you're gonna be sick by Friday" oh how accurate.

So yeah, baby not eating possibly a combination of wanting his independence and the fact that he's sick. I hope he gets better soon. And thanks for your advice, I will try it as soon as he's feeling better. I'm hoping he'll want to eat more.

Oh No, So it Begins

Where did my wonderful little baby go? He's turned into a fussy toddler. My child who would eat anything and everything in large quantities has begun refusing food. Foods that he previously loved. His latest thing now is to push away just about any food I give him. Yesterday a plate of vegetables. He picked off each piece and threw it on the floor. Strawberries? Swiped his hand across the table and threw them to the floor. Bread? Ate two or three pieces, threw the rest on the floor. The only thing he would eat yesterday was a handful of french fries. Today, a bowl of cereal this morning, he slowly picked at it until it was 2/3rds empty and then started whining and complaining. Yogurt? I managed to get the spoon into his mouth twice, he spit it out both times and refused to even open his mouth after that. Cucumbers? No way. The only thing my child wants to eat is cookies, french fries, and other junk food. I managed to feed him a lot of whole wheat crackers with hummus tonight but that's not a real dinner. Sigh. I gave him a bottle of toddler formula before bed.

This doesn't bode well for his growth. He is already tiny to begin with. I know he is a toddler and is going to go through these stages. I knew we had it too easy with the baby who loved everything. I'm worried too that it may be a side effect of his medications. He hasn't had any so far really, but I'm pretty sure either one or both have decreased appetite as side effects. He's been on the drugs since he was two months old it's not really feasible to think he will have no side effects whatsoever.

He also doesn't want to sleep all night anymore. He had me up at 2am this morning, he screamed bloody murder until I went to get him and then he wanted to play even though he was tired. What happened to my sweet little guy? Oh well. He is still happy as ever during the day and pretty healthy aside from not wanting to eat. I guess we just have to rough out those toddler years. I guess it's time I stock up on more formula. At least he seems to drink that..

Under The Sea

It's been a busy week as usual. I'm so glad it's almost over. I'm beginning to enjoy working with my new supervisor. She's not perfect, but who is? At least she seems pretty level even if she's kind of rough around the edges. Work is going well. My kids are hilarious and crazy of course. We went on a field trip to a marsh. They were showing us around the marsh, talking about plants. We had been there all of 30 minutes when one of our kinders came up to me and was complaining about looking at the plants and this what he said: "I've been here for three days, and I just want to stand on some rocks!! When are we going to stand on some rocks!?!" That pretty much made my week.

Skyler had OT yesterday, he's doing great, she suggested we get him some of those shape sorter toys. I've been meaning to pick some up for a while now but haven't. She said it will be good for his motor control. Also she is very impressed with his visual range. He is definitely seeing further than before, and his play and movement and interests are all mainly visually guided. He may hear something but he will turn to look at it right away and see if it's of interest. She also pointed out that most children with visual impairments are apprehensive when it comes to touching new things, but Skyler is more apprehensive about new things when he can see them. He will stare at it and concentrate trying to figure out if it's safe before he makes a move to touch it. Textures however don't bother him in the slightest.

As for me, I am beginning to get a little burnt out lately. C has been working nonstop pretty much. He has been working almost a full week and everytime he's not at work someone is calling him from work or he's going in to do interviews for new applicants or he's going in to cover a shift. I got dumped off at church with Skyler on Sunday because he got a call from work saying someone had called in sick. I ended up spending that service in the nursery with Skyler because my nose wouldn't stop running and I had no tissues so I went downstairs to blow my nose and never made it back up. It was lonely up there without him. I'm so proud of C for being such a hard worker, but we talked today and I told him that his family still needs him too and he does need some time for himself as well. He agreed and said he'd tell them not to call him on his days off anymore.

And now, what did I spend my night doing tonight? Scribbling and cutting and gluing and being silly. Nothing like working in a daycare to make you randomly want to create things. Here's the finished project, Skyler's new placemat (laminated of course):

Don't mind the hilarious size differences between things. Nothing in this picture makes sense, which is probably because I'm a prairie girl who's never even been near a coast, and my drawing skill leaves much to be desired. And yet I think it's kind of cute nonetheless. Also Skyler helped paint the background blue with his fingerpaints so that makes it special right there.