Monday, March 17, 2008

The 17th

You know how some days have a certain significance, the 17th is one of those days for me. The 17th is the day I lost my baby. She hadn't even finished growing up yet, she wasn't even ready to leave the womb, but she did. Lately I've been reading a lot of blogs, deadbabyblog, please give me back my heart, alittlepregnant, I absolutely admire and respect these women, and it got me to thinking that if they can deal with it, and talk about it online and find solace in other women who've dealt with the same kind of thing then maybe I can too. And it's just one of those things you don't feel like sharing with everyone around you unless you absolutely have to.

My friends and family were oblivious, except for my mothers lovely comment about me gaining weight.. I wasn't very far along fortunately when I lost the baby, but it was still a loss nonetheless. As much as I want to talk to my "real life" friends about it I just can't. It's just one of those things. And as much as it hurts me to think about it or talk about it I just consider myself lucky that I lost the baby before everyone around me knew I was pregnant, because I don't think i could have dealt with telling them all, and having to put up with their reactions, and patronizing and asking me if I'm going to be alright..

It's been 2 months now since I lost her...