Friday, November 28, 2008

Time Is a Commodity I Can't Afford

Number of times I've sat down to write a post in the last few days: 13
Number of times I actually got anything written before I had to sleep/eat/pump/go to nicu: 0

I'm starting to feel like I'm hungover all the time, but without having any fun the night before. I'm headachey, exhausted, I have puffy red eyes 90% of the time, dry mouth etc. I've been assured it only gets better. Anyway enough of my complaining for the moment. Today's post is dedicated to C, because we are having a very tough time getting through this and even though we love each other soo much we've been arguing here and there over stupid things due to lack of sleep and excess of worry. So today I'm writing 15 things I love about C.

1. The way your eyes light up every time you see our baby.

2. That you constantly sterilize all the bottles and pumping stuff right after/before I pump. I know it's tedious and you keep burning yourself but you do it for me anyway so that I can rest a little in between pumping.

3. How you still say I am sexy even though I look and feel like I've been dead to the world for 9 days.

4. You got peed on by our baby last night and laughed and thought it was cute even though I wouldn't stop teasing you. I'm sure he'll get me soon.

5. How you rub my back when it gets really sore.

6. The way you stood up to your parents for us and told them to take a break and let us catch our breath, even though it was hard because they were trying to be nice which doesn't happen often.

7. How you read our baby's chart every time we go to the NICU and check for updates on everything and ask the nurses for all his stats.

8. The fact that you cook us lunch and dinner everyday to make sure I'm eating enough even though you are just as tired as I am, and there's no time for much of anything. You make it a priority and I'm grateful for that.

9. When you hold me and kiss me and I can smell your cologne and even if only for a few seconds everything feels right again.

10. The fact that you haven't shaved since the day our son was born because it just isn't important enough when we only have enough time in a day to pump, bring him milk, sleep a couple hours and maybe eat a couple of meals.

11. That I asked you if you could do the laundry while I did the dishes and you don't complain, even though you're cooking lunch at the same time.

12. You overcook the french fries so they're exactly how I like them. ;)

13. You keep encouraging me even when I feel useless and want to give up.

14. Even while we're fighting you still take care of me.

15. How gentle, caring and loving you are with our tiny little boy and just how amazing you are as a daddy.

And if you're stuck for blog ideas I invite you to write a list of things that you love about someone special.


Chuckie72 said...

great now I'm crying thanks B :) I love you, I guess we should pump about now...

Awake said...

That was just awesome. What an important thing to do - in the middle of this chaos - to take the time and write this, and to think it. Bless you and C.

oh, and i'm so with you on the overdone fries. :)

Ya Chun said...

It sounds like you guys are doing just fine. These little times when you are short with each other are really nothing and will be forgotten along with the pain of labor and delivery and after Skyler is big, the absolute exhaustion of caring for a newborn.

Do take it easy on yourself and each other. Breather and smile when you can. Your miracle will be home soon!