Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Waiting Game

All is well inside. The OB took a listen, heartbeat still strong, and he's practicing his Irish jig in there (in other words lots of good movements). Water still has not broken, I had some more intense contractions last night, but he's still a no show. I'm in good shape, aside from being a bit flustered. So all we have left to do is continue waiting for him to make his appearance. The OB said (kind of jokingly) he must have something important to finish up in there, and he'll come out when he's ready. On one hand I am rather relieved. I was pretty scared there would be mention of pitocin or induction since I've been in labour this long. Which is not something I want. Medical interventions are never good unless someone's health is in danger.

On the other hand it's back to waiting for him to make his move. I happen to be a rather impatient person unfortunately. But I know that whatever he is doing in there is important and he will come out when he is ready to. So I am back to meditating, drinking lots of water, and well I still haven't stopped working out on the bike and I think that's keeping me sane. My weight is more in my belly now than anywhere else. The nurse at my appointment even said I'd lost weight instead of gained. (Not in a bad way mind you, it was just a couple pounds) Anyway I am off to admire our new bedroom curtain that C just finished sewing.

(and he picked the fabric, it's super cute)

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

One Week

And it has now been a week of early labour. I have an OB appt tomorrow so I am thinking she will probably want to start pitocin or something.. Sigh. I was really hoping to do this without medical interventions. Also today I am 38 weeks along so there's pretty much no way they can make me give birth in the high risk area as fas as I know.

On the bright side apparently my package is being delivered today according to the Canada Post website. For the first time I ordered some clothes online for Skyler. None of his shirts fit him anymore, he's still wearing 6 month pants because he has short legs and a skinny waist, but his top half is 12-18 months and sometimes 18-24. So I ordered him a bunch of clothes on sale from Ol.d N.avy because we had a gift card. I'm really hoping we'll be home when it's delivered. I also ordered a onesie for the babe who is not here yet. Guess his onesie is going to arrive before he does.

Saturday, February 19, 2011


It's now Saturday, I've been contracting and dilated to 4ish cms since Tuesday. Have eaten entire bag of M&Ms. That is all.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Schedule Interruptus

So Tuesday I went into labour, or what I figured must have been false labour as I had regular contractions for a few hours, called C home from work and when he got home the contractions slowed and all but stopped. We went to sleep, luckily my OB appt was Wed morning. Again I got in to see her early, she checked me and said I was 4cm dilated and would likely be giving birth later that day and as luck would have it she was working 7pm to 7am. She then sent me home to relax and wait it out.

The contractions were about 2 minutes apart by 5pm, so we headed in to the hospital. In the car they were right on top of each other with no pause in between. The nurse checked me when we arrived and said there was pretty much no change. I was still about 4cm. My doctor was due to start in a couple hours so the nurse told me to walk around and come back to triage in a bit. She also said that the charge nurse in low risk labour & delivery didn't want me. She said that 37 week old babies have a hard time latching or some b*llsh*t. Truth is I overheard them talking and they were saying there were no beds available in low risk L&D so I'm sure she was just using that as an excuse.

So we went to the cafeteria in the general hospital and had a bite to eat. We got back when my doctor started. She checked me again and said I'd opened up only about a cm more. Doctors orders were go home, relax, have sex and come back when they start to get intense or my water breaks. She figured we'd be back before her shift ended. Well it's 7:13 now and here I sit. I think this baby is building himself a permanent fortress in my womb. I am so not going back to the hospital until he's tunneling out of me because I don't want to be stuck there any longer than I have to. Being there for 3 hours sucked bad enough.

Wish me luck.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Carry Over

Ah yes as I promised I should tell you about Skyler's SLP appointment. It was his second appointment, and he had physio at the same time. Physio wants us to encourage him walking over, and on top of things because of his depth perception problems. He needs to be comfortable with walking on uneven terrain and other things like that. So in addition to climbing up and down the stairs in the apartment block each day we're going to try to have him walking over pillows and that kind of thing. Our OT (from the CNIB) said she is going to look into getting us a disabled parking pass so he can have more independence when we're out and about. Right now we just carry him because it's too far to let him walk the whole way to the doors when he's so tiny and there are so many cars driving around. Plus he goes quite slowly. And curbs are an issue. We may get him a cane in a few years, when he's ready for it. Just to help with things like curbs and uneven terrian. He's pretty good about finding his way around, but a pot hole would probably send him flying to his butt.

Anyway on to SLP. I pointed out a bunch of things and the SLP and I talked. His receptive language is fantastic. He knows what you're saying, he will point to things, repeat words and sentences, follow instructions etc. The only thing is he tucks his bottom lip in all the time. When he attempts to say something he uses the back of the throat sounds which are the hardest ones for kids to learn, and he never uses the lip sounds which are the easiest (m, p, b). So we have to try to get him to use that bottom lip and stop tucking it under his teeth. Every time we say something to him with one of those sounds we're supposed to pat our lips to show him how we're making the sound. And we have to try to put something on his lip to help him stop sucking on it. She suggested some kind of chapstick that he might not like the taste of. Everyone I've asked has recommended Car.mex. So C got some last night.

He did keep his lip out a bit more with the chapstick on, but still won't touch his lips together to make the sounds. When he says "baby" it comes out as "daydee". "Happy" is "Ha-ee" etc. Sometimes I know exactly what he is saying, but other times I get confused because so many words sounds the same with him using the D and K sounds to replace so many other letters. In addition to showing him how to make the sounds, we're supposed to rub or tap his bottom lip to draw his attention to it. So far when I do that he seems to like to suck it in more.. The SLP said she's never actually seen a little guy who sucks in his bottom lip. Most kids do the pouty lip and stick out the bottom one, but not suck it in. I guess my kid just has to be different :)

And we also have to make sound bags. So for each letter he doesn't say I have to put together a bag of items, toys, pictures etc of things that start with that letter so that we can work on having him label those items and try to get him to say those letters. I'm thinking the letter B will have things like a picture of a baby, a book, a ball, a bottle, a toy bee, etc. Then I have M, and P to do as well. I know I need to get started on that, but I have been pretty busy with everything else. The baby is due at any moment, so I am doing my best to get all that in order.

Yesterday I had my mom over to show her where everything was for when I go into labour and she comes to watch Skyler. I've packed my hospital bag, and arranged for a tour of the hospital's maternity ward. I made a checklist of things to do and make sure to have before we go, etc. Last night I had my first cramp/contraction thing going on while we were walking around the department store. It got so bad we had to go because I could hardly move. This morning when I woke up my baby belly looks so much smaller. Even though I am still huge. I can feel that he has definitely dropped into position so I don't know how much longer I have until we're welcoming him into the world.

Oh and to the second part of what I said I'd talk about. Some of you might know I have anxiety disorder. It's especially bad in hospitals, doctors offices etc. Or at least it used to be. Now a days I am much much more comfortable going in for routine check ups. I no longer have doctors telling me that my blood pressure or heart rate are off the charts. I think the people make a difference. I love my nurse practitioner and my OB, they make me feel comfortable. But the thing I still have a lot of trouble with is calling people I don't know.. I've always had panic attacks answering the phone or calling someone when I don't know them. Like banking, or services or pretty much anyone who isn't my family. I used to make C do it for me.

On Thursday and Friday I decided to work up my courage and just do it. I called about six or seven different companies/people for things that normally I would have had enormous panic attacks about. I managed to call one of my credit card providers and tell them to send me a cheque since my account was accidentally over paid. I closed the account too, we're paying down all our debt and closing the accounts because we want a house someday. I called the hospital to book a tour, I called the community centre to ask about his preschool, I called the lady who runs the preschool, I even called my Finances department for my work and asked them to keep my benefits while I'm on leave. And I didn't have a singe panic attack!

I know it sounds ridiculous for some people, but for me it was a huge deal being able to do that. I've been working on a stress and meditation workbook lately and I think it's helped me a lot. I've been meditating more than usual and working out 20 minutes every night on the bike. I think it's helping me keep my head clear, and keep the unnecessary anxiety out of my life. It felt really good knowing I was able to pick up the phone like a grown up and talk to people I normally would be afraid to talk to.

Anyway I've gone on long enough, now I'm off to finish icing the heart shaped cookies Skyler and C and I made yesterday.

Friday, February 11, 2011

What a Day!

What a day we had today. Skyler went to bed last night at 6:30 on his own, so I didn't bother to wake him since he must have been tired. Of course he woke up around 5 or 6am this morning, and wouldn't go back to sleep. I swear he knows when we have plans for a busy day. First thing we did this morning was go to Fu.ture Sh.op to spend some gift cards. We bought my mom a tv since we didn't need anything else from there. So we went and surprised her with lunch and a new flat screen LCD tv to replace the huge hunk of junk she had before (it was one of those old ones with the giant back on it that uses a ton of energy). This one was a 26in and her old one was only 19in. She was so surprised and excited it was awesome.

After lunch we headed to a community club near by. C and I had recently talked about enrolling Skyler in a preschool program at the community club. It's the same program I used to take N to when I was pregnant with Skyler so long ago. I know the ECE who runs it and she's a lovely lady so I'd feel alright leaving him with her and the other ECE who happens to be her sister. So we went and registered him for the spring session starting in April. Honestly I've been kind of nervous and excited about it. It's two days a week and the classes are two hours long. We've never really left him with anyone except my mom and the ECEs in the nursery at church. I think he will probably be just fine, and have a great time. It will be good for him to socialize too.

After that we headed over to his music class which is just a bit further up the street. He had a great time despite being very tired. He played the glockenspiel and sang and ran around and played with his friends. After that we had to rush to the bank which thankfully was also close by for an appt to open up Skyler's youth account, RESP and RDSP. His RESP is his education savings plan, so that by the time he's old enough to go to post secondary the money is there for him if he wants it. We made it a family plan so that if he decides not to go to school his sibling(s) can use it. The RDSP is a savings plan for the disabled. That one can only be in his name, but it can be used for other things aside from school and it gives him a cushion if he's having a hard tim getting a job or something when he's grown up.

At the appointment he started to get very tired, and thirsty and cranky. He got to the point where he was screaming his head off. Until daddy took him to a store and bought him some apple juice. That calmed him down for a bit, until he inhaled it and puked in the bank advisor guy's office. Yeah I felt a bit bad about that one, but the guy said he had a three year old so he wasn't too phased by it. He brushed it off and was cool about it, but I'm sure he was probably relieved when we finally got out of there.

Then from there we went straight to pick up some sushi, stopped to eat in the parking lot at C's work because it was on the way to our next stop. After eating we went to a college downtown. I'm sure I mentioned a long while back that Skyler had a photo shoot. Well tonight the gallery opened where his photos were displayed. We wandered around the building for a while lost until we realized it was in a different, but attached building. We finally found our way there, and as we got out of the elevator and headed into the gallery, the very first thing we saw greeting us as we walked in was a huge gorgeous photo of our son. She put his pictures right at the entrance so he was the first thing you see when you walk in. Tears filled my eyes.

It was beautiful. The gallery had five different people's stories. Each one was about someone living with vision loss/impairment, and how they weren't broken or weak or anything like that, but how they were alive. She had interviewed me when she did the photo shoot, and I was touched by the essay she wrote about us. There was a couple pictures of Skyler and me together, but the best picture was the big one of him. It took my breath away. It was moving for me watching people come in and read about my baby, and ooh and aww at his pictures. The people who were there when we were saw him dancing by his picture and commented on how beautiful he was in real life and how he was such a darling etc. The photographer who did the essay was nice enough to let us take some pictures of her work.

After that we went to Wa.l Ma.rt for some random stuff. They're turning it into a super centre. It will be the first one in our city, it's weird because everything is all over the place. Anyway after that we finally came home!

I have more to tell you about his SLP yesterday, and my anxiety disorder, but that can probably wait until tomorrow. Now it's time for some well deserved relaxation time.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

36 Weeks

So I had my OB appt today, from now on I have them every Wednesday until this little guy comes out of me. Let me tell you about my appointment. We got there about ten minutes before 10 am. My appointment wasn't until 10:15 so Skyler was just wandering off as there were no chairs available (it was way more packed than usual) when they called my name. We had been there maybe a total of 45 seconds. So we went into the room, the nurse weighed me and handed me a sheet telling me I needed to be "changed" from the waist down. Funny way of putting it but, whatever I just took off my pants. No sooner had I taken them off than my OB was in the room. I actually tossed my pants over to C from the table.

She did the usual blood pressure, feeling up my uterus, listen to the heartbeat etc. Then she swabbed for strep B and checked my cervix. Baby's head is down and ready to go, my cervix is still closed. So all is looking good there. Then the next part, the best part. Since I've never made it full term or delivered at this hospital I asked a few questions.

-Is it routine to have an I.V. when giving birth? No. Certainly not.
-Will I have to give birth laying on my back in that gawdawful position? Heavens no, you can be in any position you want!
-Can I bring my own music from home? Yes of course.

And she asked me if I was able to breastfeed Skyler when he was born. I said yes & no, that he had been on bottles of pumped milk with formula as well as the breast because he was so tiny, but that it was my dream to be able to breastfeed this one right away. She said of course I'd be able to do that. And that this time would much different for me, way more relaxed. We left the appointment at 10 am, 15 minutes before it was even scheduled to begin!

I can't wait now for labour. Those things were worrying me, they weighed on my mind last night. I woke up early this morning thinking about them and wasn't able to go back to sleep. But my mind feels easy now. As long as baby/labour doesn't have complications I'm finally going to get a positive birth experience. I've already been practicing my meditation for labour. I managed to meditate through 21 hours of labour with Skyler without a single pain med, no screaming, no swearing nothing. So I am hoping that I can do that this time as well.

OH and the very best part of all, that I almost forgot about. She said I'm full term now!! I thought it was next week, but she said I am ready to go anytime now, no more OR, no more at risk, no preemie. So I'm ready, bring it on baby!

(just watch him stay in there til 42 weeks or something now.. lol)

Monday, February 7, 2011


Skyler and I trying out the new wrap! Despite the look on his face he actually really likes it. When I took him out of it he got really mad and started crying for "up" and "zing" (which is how he says sling). It looks a little funny mainly because of my huge belly, but it fits nicely and it spreads the weight evenly so I'm not even killing my body carrying him around. And yes I am gigantic! But it's all in my tummy now, I don't feel like I have as much flab in the rest of my body anymore. I've been working out every day since I got the stationary bike. I love it! Probably the best $100 I spent on my own fitness ever. Even if I don't lose a ton of weight or anything at least I know my heart is in better shape with all the cardio I'm doing.

Oh and there's only one more week before I'm no longer considered high risk! I'm excited.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Long Day, But Satisfying

So things have gotten better, or gone sideways a bit since I last posted. Skyler has gotten much better, though he puked today from choking on his waffle because the kid thinks he should be able to eat like a snake and just unhinge his jaw to swallow an entire quarter of a waffle at once. Aside from him no longer being sick, he has begun this screaming thing that is driving us all nuts. He's usually pretty calm, and though he has started to really use a lot more words and different forms of communication he occasionally will show his two year old impatience. He forgets that he knows words, or any way of communicating and instead wails at the top of his lungs. I think it's mostly a combination of him being tired, impatient, hungry etc when he starts doing this.

He hasn't wanted to sleep at night since he was sick. He's been weaning himself off the bottle which is great on one hand, on the other, he's been unable to figure out how to fall asleep on his own and has been irate about it. C managed to get him to sleep the last couple days since he's been home from work in the evenings. It's been so much easier with him here, and I'm going to miss him tomorrow night when he works until close again. Today he only had to go to work for 5 hours so Skyler and I decided to go with him for something to do. I spent the day handwashing several huge drink machines while watching Skyler. He mostly swept the floor in the back room. It was adorable. I think we're all worn out from all the hard work we did today.

And then after getting home I started work on my latest project: a new baby carrier! I made a wrap style baby carrier out of 100% cotton gauze. It's lovely, it's so lightweight and breathable. It's a very simple project to make, it just takes forever to hem because it's 5 metres of fabric. I tried it on after finishing the hem and I love the way it feels. There are so many different ways of wearing the wrap, I'm excited to try them all. I like that you can wrap it so that it covers both shoulders and distributes the weight evenly. Next project will likely be a ring sling, I'm excited to try making one of those next. I'm on some sort of baby carrier kick it seems. Once I finish my ring sling I'll have three different kinds of carriers. I think it will be great because I can experiment and find which ones work best for us.

I even popped Skyler into the pouch sling (the one that I made) today while we were at C's work. He was hugging my legs and asking for up so I put him in the nice soft lined carrier. He actually really loved it. I thought he might be annoyed because he's two and likes to walk around, but he was feeling cuddly and he just snuggled up to me and repeated the word "sling" over and over with a smile. So I guess he hasn't outgrown being worn in a sling, which is awesome.

I think the cutest part of our day was when Skyler went on his lunch break after a long stretch of sweeping.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

It Can Only Get Better Right?

It's been a while since I posted last. I haven't even opened my laptop in several days. I'm feeling pretty good about that. I've been working on a stress and relaxation workbook which boy have I needed it the last few days. Skyler came down with something Sunday night and has been puking and had the dreaded "d" word and a fever to go along with it. He woke up and was hungry this morning and we gave him a cereal bar. He hasn't been able to hold down a thing in the last two days. He gobbled it up so fast, poor little thing, too bad it came right back up onto C's pillow. We've washed 5 loads of laundry in the last 2 days, and Skyler's had 5 or 6 baths. We've been giving him pedialyte since the puking started. Along with all his meds and tylenol which has been keeping the fever down.

It hasn't been easy, and you know me I'm always worrying about my little one. He's napping right now and I hope he's going to feel better by tomorrow, because I'm starting to feel sick now, and C took the last two days off work to help me with Skyler so he's back at work tonight, we can't afford for him to take more time off and I'm not sure how well I will cope if both Sky and I are sick at the same time and C is at work. One of our friends said she'd check in on me tonight and see how I'm doing once she finishes work, so I do have some support. I was going to call my mom too, but now that he is sleeping for a bit I am going to relax, maybe do some more of those meditation techniques I've been learning.

I hope you guys are having a better week than I am!