Wish You Were Here

Thanks for the advice everyone. C has talked to them and they say they understand, so far they have let us have the day alone which has been nice. Also my breastpump actually is a hospital grade one, it's a Medela Pump in Style and it's actually a fantastic pump, we figured out the problem today. The 'standard' size breastshields are too small for my nipples. We managed to stop at a baby store on the way back from the hospital and pick up some larger one and you would not believe the difference. Here I thought the problems (pain and it taking forever) were just normal. Anyway pumping is much easier now.

We went to N's birthday party today. She turns 2 tomorrow I can't believe it. Time flies by so fast. There were lots of little ones there, it was kind of hard to see them all running around and playing and wearing tupperwear on their heads when I know I can't hold mine or show him off yet.

He had a number of apnea episodes over the last day.. He's on a bit of oxygen now. But the nurses say it's normal for his age and they are giving him caffeine to help him remember to breathe. His body temperature seems to be regulating itself, and by tomorrow he will be on full feeds hopefully. Which means that they can get rid of his IV. He's tolerating the breastmilk wonderfully, and he just needs to start gaining some weight. He's done a bit of treatment for jaundice, and they are checking him again tomorrow to see if he needs more. I want them to do whatever they need to do in order to keep him healthy and growing until he's ready to come home.

It is tough though, today we went and I pumped in the room with him, that was nice. We got to hold him for his feeding and change his diaper and everything, we've been doing it whenever we can. Last night we barely slept. Everything is catching up to us, we're both exhausted but worked up and worried about everything. We ended up calling the NICU at 2am to see how he was doing. After we fought for like an hour and a half over something so stupid as a dining room table. His parents brought over furniture last night to replace mine because apparently my dining room table will kill the kid when he is old enough to walk. Riiight whatever. Anyway I was really pissed off that his parents have decided that MY stuff isn't good enough for my child and they had to replace it. So we fought for a while about that. Not to mention he agreed to clutter up my living room and kitchen with all the crap from his parents and I have like no say in it. There's barely room to move or breathe in here now. I feel claustrophobic, like I am being pushed out of my own apartment and they are taking over.

Good thing they stayed away today I might have blown up at them. Even the nurses at the NICU said to tell them to leave because Sky needs his milk and I need my rest.