Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Purging

One more day and I am free in the afternoons. The sigh of relief when that happens is going to be so enjoyable. We've been thinking of moving to a two bedroom apartment soon, I am ashamed to say we are still in a one bedroom (that bedroom now belongs to one Skyler L of course) and that we're thinking that one day we may want our own bedroom. Haha. Anyway as a result of this desire to move we've begun purging a bit, trying to get rid of the excess, and believe me there is a lot of it. Hopefully we can clean out a bunch of stuff and by the time we actually move, there will be less junk, and mainly just the essentials to move with us.

And now, picture if you will: a young woman, in her work clothes, fingers poised, on the pinky hangs a yellow soother. In between the ring finger and middle finger balances a syringe of clear liquid, and pinched between thumb and forefinger is a blue pill. These are the things that to me symbolize a baby and motherhood. Close your eyes and see if you can draw to mind the scent of a baby. What does a baby smell like to you? Baby wash? Baby powder? Something mundane and baby-related? For me, the smell of baby conjures up the smell of liquid pedia-prednisone. It's a strange, sweet smell. It's often how my baby smells.

Make no mistake though, I am not complaining. I only offer a small window into my world. I want others to see that it's different here. It's not bad, but it's different. Just like it is for many of you out there reading this, our lives are not usually worse than others, just different. I would not trade that scent association for anything. That is my baby, and that is his smell, and I love him just the way he is. (Except maybe when he smells less like pred and more like poo. Then his daddy can have him for a few mins.. heh heh)

3 comments:

Trish said...

For me, it's a little more spoiled milk (from puking) but it's still his so I love it.

Stacie said...

You are such an inspiration. I think you're an amazing person for embracing what life has thrown at you. You're doing a wonderful job with Skyler. He is so lucky!

Ashley's Mom said...

For me it's that awful smell when you need to give meds via the g-tube, but you forget to clamp it shut and all the stomach contents come leaking out. Yech! but at least it means the stomach is still working!