Sunday, March 29, 2009

Don't Feel Sorry For Us

We don't.

I've had enough of people pitying me and my son. "Oh no he's blind that's so sad I'm so sorry for you." or "Poor kid I can't imagine." and the classic "That's so horrible, what kind of life will he lead?" and my favourite "What a horrible burden on you this must be."

Yes these are the standard, appropriate responses. But I am sorry, I have had enough of them. Don't be sorry that my son was born the way he was, he is my son and he is perfect. So what if he can't see? That doesn't make his life worth any less than yours or mine. It doesn't mean he is something to be apologized for. I am not sorry I had him, I am not sorry at all. And I'm not sorry for him, his life will be different it doesn't mean he is doomed to be miserable and feel like his life is less than that of others. No he won't experience the world the same way as you and I, but so what? He will still experience the world in his own way.

I can't wait to start showing it to him, to place a block in his hands and tell him it's square, it's smooth, it's a block.. I can't wait to show him his first kitty, to show him how we pet a cat, to be gentle, and that cats meow, and they have soft fur. I can't wait to introduce him to every kind of music. To teach him to play piano if he wants to. To show him how to read braille. I can't wait until he is 16 and we can take him to the Guide Dog school in Ottawa and get him his own guide dog. Just because he can't see does not mean he is a burden on me or anyone. He is a person, and I have a feeling he will be a great one. Blind or not.

Thank you.

9 comments:

Ya Chun said...

Of course you still teach Sky everything about life, love, the world. You guys are strong enough, together, to meet the challenges as they come.

Buttercup said...

Sky is a lucky little boy to have great parents and there is a wonderful world out there for him.

Stacie said...

You do have so many wonderful things to teach Sky. Life throws us curve balls, but you know, you are a strong woman. You can overcome any hurdle.

You're awesome, and Sky is one lucky baby boy. He has two great parents!

Poppy said...

Coming out of lurkerdom to say a big kudos to you! Your little fella is one lucky baby to have you as his mom.

kath said...

I work with special needs kids. I wish they all had parents like you.

Karen said...

You know, I had been feeling more sorry/worried for you than for him. I remember what it was like to find out my son had vision problems and I also remember that it was much less overwhelming for him than it was for me. It was the norm for him, and nothing to be concerned about. But for me it was a lot. I'm glad to know that you are already moving past this stage. Skyler is going to be so much better off having a strong mother like you. And yes, he will have a wonderful time exploring the world. His problems are challenges, something to deal with and overcome, not something to make anyone wallow in misery. I don't think babies know how to wallow.

niobe said...

What Buttercup said.

christyna said...

honestly how anyone can say half the stuff you've been told is beyond me. Sky is beautiful! and he will have a wonderful, happy life.

Rachel Inbar said...

Nothing to add but this: :-)