Up and Down

I think this whole NICU thing is all about ups and downs. One minute he is going great, the next he is desatting like crazy. He went the lowest I've ever seen him go yesterday and it was before his feeding which is not something he usually does. I must say it looks like we're taking a step backwards here and I don't like it. It scares me. I want him to just keep taking the steps forward, you know towards the door, and our car.. I didn't nurse him yesterday and only saw him once. We were so tired as always, and I had been called into work yesterday for the whole day (I've only been doing afternoons but they really needed me for the morning too yesterday) and C was working from 5:45am to 2pm so by the time I got off work at almost 6 we had time to go do his 7 o clock feeding and then go home to eat and sleep..

I've been pumping massive amounts of milk or at least what seems like a lot to me. Which is fantastic, I'm keeping ahead of him by a day at a time. In fact I've run out of sterile containers for the milk, again. C is at work right now until 1:45 and I start at 2:30 his work is like half way across the city and he has the car so I am contemplating taking the bus to work because I don't want to be late if he doesn't make it here in time. Yesterday he ended up working until just after 2 because his sister (who he works with.. probably not the best idea) screwed something up and he had to fix it for her. He assures me he won't be staying late today but I don't know. I am thinking of taking the bus to go see the baby and then bus to work from there..

We got to watch the nurse give him a bath on sunday, that was fun. He was actually pretty calm for most of it but he didn't particularly enjoy the crotch cleaning part. Perhaps he was embarrassed that his mom was watching. Wouldn't surprise me since he gives me the strangest look when I try to stick my boob in his mouth. I call it his "WTF" face. You can google what that means if you don't already know it. Seriously he looks like he's really disturbed by the fact that there is something soft and squishy and dripping milk in his mouth. One time he even yanked his head back and grabbed my nipple with his hand as if to say what the hell is this thing and why does she keep putting it in my mouth??

Last night I actually slept a fair bit. Went to bed around 10:30 or 11pm. Woke up to pump at 5am went back to sleep from 6 until 9 then pumped again. Now I am just sitting here waiting for the bottles to sterilize. Sleeping is good, makes me feel a little less crazy. We went to C's staff christmas party the other night, and I wore my sexy prepregnancy clothes and my boots! Heels for the first time in 7 months. I felt pretty, I even did my hair. Oh and I managed to get C to sit still long enough to get a hair cut because it was looking honestly quite clinically insane.

Yesterday I stopped in at a small local baby store. My boss is friends with the owner and she told me that for christmas she wants to get me a sling all I have to do is go pick it out and put it on hold. Luckily the Baby Bin Boutique is right down the street from my work so I went there on my lunch and picked out a black and white print pouch sling. I can't wait until I get to have my baby home and I can put him in the sling and keep him near me all the time. I swear when I get him home I am never ever going to put him down unless I have to. At least that is how I feel right now. I'm sure C feels the same way. We're probably going to fight over who gets to hold him and feed him etc.

I joked to the nurses that when we get home we'll be fighting over who gets to change his diaper. The nurses laughed and said why argue just let daddy do it. Eh they got me there. Skyler likes to pee on C and it's hilarious. When we had to undress him to weigh him C made the mistake of holding a naked baby to his chest and got baby pee all over his shirt. Hilarious I assure you. I took a picture of it but he was facing slightly away so it didn't show up as well as I would have liked.

Anyway I guess I should go attempt to nourish myself before I head off to the hospital.