Blessed be, and happy halloween! Today is Samhain*, and we're celebrating by going to the cemetery for a picnic and some grave rubbings to honour those we've lost and spend some quiet time with them, remembering how they touched our lives. Samhain is one of my favourite sabbats and I can't wait to celebrate. Skyler and I already had an early morning ritual. Which I should explain is not some sort of crazy thing where we sit in a circle chanting and sacrificing animals. Basically we sat down in the bedroom with some items that belonged to our loved ones and we talked about the people that came before us who died, my grama, my papa, his sister Sophie. Skyler babbled too and gave his input. We talked about how we missed them and how they are always a part of our lives. We gave our thanks for another summer past and all the good things in life, and the hard times that we've overcome, and then we had breakfast!
Tonight we'll probably take him to my moms, my dads, and Chuck's parents just to show off his costume and maybe get some treats for the grown-ups. Other than that it will likely be a quiet evening. Living in an apartment I don't expect we'll have any kids trick or treating. Which sucks because it's so fun to give out candy or to go trick or treating, but I think Skyler is just too little for that still. Maybe next year, hopefully he will be walking by then and can participate and have a bit more fun. What are your plans for halloween? I hope you all have a good one this year!
*In the link, if you scroll down to the bottom-ish where it says Neopaganism it gives you some idea of how Wiccans celebrate it. :)
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Magic Baby
I don't know how many times I have already said it, but I love our paediatric opthalmologist. Chuck called his office today, after he spent forever on the phone with the tax people. He faxed over the forms to the opthalmologist's receptionist and also the letter we got from the government saying that we didn't qualify. The doctor himself called us back at 5pm (it was amusing because we were on our way to the CNIB for the halloween party) and he was mad. Not at us, but at the stupid situation. He said it was ridiculous that they expected him to get an accurate diagnosis from an infant and that we need the benefit because we are doing everything we possibly can to help our son's visual development. He wanted to know if there was a number he could call to give them a piece of his mind. He said he will fax us back the form saying whatever it needs to say for them to approve us. Yay!
On monday I registered for another ECE class, which I honestly couldn't afford, but I had to do it because I now am classified as an ECE in training, which means a raise and full time hours. Which is a huge plus. I'm going to miss the extra couple hours with Skyler, but I am finding the day goes by quickly in the kinders room. I am getting used to having all these kids calling my name everyday. Asking me to do up their buttons, tie their shoes, settle disputes, look what they can do, and on and on and on. I worry about them wearing their mittens and hats and jackets when we go outside. Today I was done work and I went back to the room to sign myself out, and I saw one of our kinders had left her mitts in the room so I went back outside and gave them to her. I just couldn't stand the thought of her little fingers freezing. I guess I am a mommy at heart.
The CNIB halloween party was a blast, we met more parents of blind kids obviously, we shared stories and promised to meet up again at the Christmas party. Everyone loved our cute little wizard of course. I asked our CNIB OT if she knew the kid we met at the pool, and we described him, she confirmed that she did indeed know who he was and that he had been at the last Christmas party. I hope we'll see him at the christmas party this year! There were lots of activities for the kids to do at the party, including crafts and a tactile room for the kids (with bowls of jello and pudding and grapes, just like a normal halloween party where they blindfold people or turn out the lights except we didn't need the blindfolds for the kids at this party ;P) And there were tons of snacks and goodies. I made a foam ghost with Skyler (I let him play with the stickers and he actually liked the sensation of them sticking to his fingers) and I made a skeleton to decorate the apartment or the daycare centre. Whichever.
On monday I registered for another ECE class, which I honestly couldn't afford, but I had to do it because I now am classified as an ECE in training, which means a raise and full time hours. Which is a huge plus. I'm going to miss the extra couple hours with Skyler, but I am finding the day goes by quickly in the kinders room. I am getting used to having all these kids calling my name everyday. Asking me to do up their buttons, tie their shoes, settle disputes, look what they can do, and on and on and on. I worry about them wearing their mittens and hats and jackets when we go outside. Today I was done work and I went back to the room to sign myself out, and I saw one of our kinders had left her mitts in the room so I went back outside and gave them to her. I just couldn't stand the thought of her little fingers freezing. I guess I am a mommy at heart.
The CNIB halloween party was a blast, we met more parents of blind kids obviously, we shared stories and promised to meet up again at the Christmas party. Everyone loved our cute little wizard of course. I asked our CNIB OT if she knew the kid we met at the pool, and we described him, she confirmed that she did indeed know who he was and that he had been at the last Christmas party. I hope we'll see him at the christmas party this year! There were lots of activities for the kids to do at the party, including crafts and a tactile room for the kids (with bowls of jello and pudding and grapes, just like a normal halloween party where they blindfold people or turn out the lights except we didn't need the blindfolds for the kids at this party ;P) And there were tons of snacks and goodies. I made a foam ghost with Skyler (I let him play with the stickers and he actually liked the sensation of them sticking to his fingers) and I made a skeleton to decorate the apartment or the daycare centre. Whichever.
And now what you have all been waiting for, my little wizard!
(oh and don't mind the pjs under his robe hehe)
(oh and don't mind the pjs under his robe hehe)
Not Enough
So we got a letter from the government today. Apparently our son just isn't blind enough for them. Which means we don't qualify for the disability tax credit. Isn't that lovely? The letter states that because he is such a young age that the opthalmologist cannot ascertain with 100% certainty that he is legally blind (20/200) he doesn't qualify and we can reapply once we get an accurate diagnosis of legal blindness. Oh and he is on life sustaining drug therapy, but that doesn't qualify either somehow. Life is wonderful. We have to pay out of pocket for all his drugs and therapies that he needs to live and thrive. Of course I do this gladly because I love him more than life itself, but honestly Canada, this is ridiculous. I don't pay taxes out my nose for our healthcare system only for you to tell me that my son is not disabled enough to qualify for any benefits.
On a much more happy note, but also related to his blindness, (which I swear he is actually blind/visually impaired no matter what the government thinks) tomorrow is the CNIB halloween party. I have been looking for an entire month for a cute costume that would fit him, and I have found absolutely nothing. So today I got the brilliant idea that hey, I have a lot of fabric just lying around in my craft closet, and a sewing machine.. You can see where this is going. I thought about making a witch costume, but he is a boy and I can just see how that conversation would go with random people. So what's the next best thing? A wizard! I spent the last 3-4 hours cutting and sewing my little fingers off, and let me say for something I threw together last minute without a pattern or anything it's not too shabby at all. I'm kind of proud of myself. Anyway I shall have to get a picture of him wearing it tomorrow. Hopefully I will find the time to make him a little wizard's hat before the party. I've been working 8 hour days lately so I haven't had much time for anything.
On a much more happy note, but also related to his blindness, (which I swear he is actually blind/visually impaired no matter what the government thinks) tomorrow is the CNIB halloween party. I have been looking for an entire month for a cute costume that would fit him, and I have found absolutely nothing. So today I got the brilliant idea that hey, I have a lot of fabric just lying around in my craft closet, and a sewing machine.. You can see where this is going. I thought about making a witch costume, but he is a boy and I can just see how that conversation would go with random people. So what's the next best thing? A wizard! I spent the last 3-4 hours cutting and sewing my little fingers off, and let me say for something I threw together last minute without a pattern or anything it's not too shabby at all. I'm kind of proud of myself. Anyway I shall have to get a picture of him wearing it tomorrow. Hopefully I will find the time to make him a little wizard's hat before the party. I've been working 8 hour days lately so I haven't had much time for anything.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Through the Eyes of a Child
Spending the day with so many school age children I am reminded of many things that I had forgotten along the way as I became an adult. I had forgotten what it is like to be innocent and curious.
The kids on Friday said something that at first I found very insensitive and upsetting, but after thinking a moment I realized they only said this because they didn't understand, and they were naturally curious. On the bus ride on the way back to school from the corn maze we had two different centres from different schools on the bus (to save money because the bus was about $500 a trip), the bus stopped to drop off the kids from the first school. There were 3 boys on the seat behind me (from my centre) they were about 7 and 8 years old. They watched as a boy about their age with a shiny bald head got off the bus and walked into his school with the other kids. They snickered and laughed and asked each other "look at that kid! why is that kid bald?" I waited a moment as I listened to them and formulated my response. I turned around in my seat and I interrupted them. They all stopped to listen as I said "Sometimes people get very sick and have to take a medication that makes all their hair fall out." their response was a serious "Oh" and they quieted for a few moments, which was then followed with a subject change.
I think I gave the best response I could for their age, and I'm sure that if they are still curious they can ask a parent or me for more information. I just said what needed to be said, enough for them to understand that it was not a choice the little boy made, and that it's something serious. What I hope they learned from it is that it's not very nice to laugh about that. My intentions were to give the children the simplest version of information they need to interact with a child who has cancer. I would hope that any interaction they have in the future with a child whose hair has fallen out from chemo would not involve laughter because the child is bald. I would hope they would be respectful with their questions and treat the child like any other they might play with.
Another thing I have noticed at my daycare is lots of children like to pretend they are blind. I know this is them exploring their world and learned and assimilating things, but I am very tempted at times to step in and intervene. Mostly I like to take the opportunity to teach them something about blind people. When I see them closing their eyes and shouting to their friends "I'm blind, look at me I'm blind" as they amble around bumping into things I often will take the time to tell them a bit about real blind people. Most importantly I try to normalize it and show them that being blind does not make a person that much different from the rest of us. They can get around on their own, they can read and write, they can do almost anything we can do, even if they have to do it in a different way sometimes.
The CNIB sends Skyler books, I swear we get 2-4 new books a week from them and they are piling up. I can't send them back fast enough, but I do love it because we are exposed to all sorts of new stories we wouldn't have read otherwise. And it means not having to travel to the library, but most importantly it means exposure to Braille. Which I wouldn't be able to find at our local library anyway. They recently sent us a book called Keep Your Ear on the Ball and I must be hormonal or something, but I cried while reading it. It's the first book they've sent that was written specifically about a blind kid. The others have all been just normal books any kid would have, that someone has added Braille pages to. This one was about a new kid at school who is blind. The other kids are so helpful, they want to open his straw, and bring him his lunch and help him walk, but everytime they ask he says "Thanks, but no thanks." and little by little they realize he can do just about everything on his own. Except play kickball. Anyway they find a way for him to play kickball at the end, and he finds a way to accept their help when he needs it. (They give him a whistle so he can signal them to stop talking so he can hear the ball).
I found it to be a very touching book. I really want to read it to my kids at the daycare later, and maybe get a copy for home. I think it might help other kids understand more about Skyler when he does start going to school.
The kids on Friday said something that at first I found very insensitive and upsetting, but after thinking a moment I realized they only said this because they didn't understand, and they were naturally curious. On the bus ride on the way back to school from the corn maze we had two different centres from different schools on the bus (to save money because the bus was about $500 a trip), the bus stopped to drop off the kids from the first school. There were 3 boys on the seat behind me (from my centre) they were about 7 and 8 years old. They watched as a boy about their age with a shiny bald head got off the bus and walked into his school with the other kids. They snickered and laughed and asked each other "look at that kid! why is that kid bald?" I waited a moment as I listened to them and formulated my response. I turned around in my seat and I interrupted them. They all stopped to listen as I said "Sometimes people get very sick and have to take a medication that makes all their hair fall out." their response was a serious "Oh" and they quieted for a few moments, which was then followed with a subject change.
I think I gave the best response I could for their age, and I'm sure that if they are still curious they can ask a parent or me for more information. I just said what needed to be said, enough for them to understand that it was not a choice the little boy made, and that it's something serious. What I hope they learned from it is that it's not very nice to laugh about that. My intentions were to give the children the simplest version of information they need to interact with a child who has cancer. I would hope that any interaction they have in the future with a child whose hair has fallen out from chemo would not involve laughter because the child is bald. I would hope they would be respectful with their questions and treat the child like any other they might play with.
Another thing I have noticed at my daycare is lots of children like to pretend they are blind. I know this is them exploring their world and learned and assimilating things, but I am very tempted at times to step in and intervene. Mostly I like to take the opportunity to teach them something about blind people. When I see them closing their eyes and shouting to their friends "I'm blind, look at me I'm blind" as they amble around bumping into things I often will take the time to tell them a bit about real blind people. Most importantly I try to normalize it and show them that being blind does not make a person that much different from the rest of us. They can get around on their own, they can read and write, they can do almost anything we can do, even if they have to do it in a different way sometimes.
The CNIB sends Skyler books, I swear we get 2-4 new books a week from them and they are piling up. I can't send them back fast enough, but I do love it because we are exposed to all sorts of new stories we wouldn't have read otherwise. And it means not having to travel to the library, but most importantly it means exposure to Braille. Which I wouldn't be able to find at our local library anyway. They recently sent us a book called Keep Your Ear on the Ball and I must be hormonal or something, but I cried while reading it. It's the first book they've sent that was written specifically about a blind kid. The others have all been just normal books any kid would have, that someone has added Braille pages to. This one was about a new kid at school who is blind. The other kids are so helpful, they want to open his straw, and bring him his lunch and help him walk, but everytime they ask he says "Thanks, but no thanks." and little by little they realize he can do just about everything on his own. Except play kickball. Anyway they find a way for him to play kickball at the end, and he finds a way to accept their help when he needs it. (They give him a whistle so he can signal them to stop talking so he can hear the ball).
I found it to be a very touching book. I really want to read it to my kids at the daycare later, and maybe get a copy for home. I think it might help other kids understand more about Skyler when he does start going to school.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Moments to Treasure Sometimes Happen in the Middle of the Night
Yesterday we took the kids in daycare on a field trip to a corn maze. It was lots of fun, but it was freezing! We ended up going back to the school 2 hours earlier than we'd planned. I'm getting more and more used to being a daycare "teacher" as they call us. I want to make this post a short one, because it's late at night and Skyler is wide awake, but he is not fussing at all. I will get to that in a minute though, first I want to thank Corrie for the lovely award!
And now for the real reason I wanted to write a post at midnight on a Saturday. Someone decided he is too grown up to sleep tonight, and he went down for a bit at his bedtime but then woke up and decided he wasn't going back to bed. So he is now enjoying his Saturday night, staying up late, snacking on cheerios and watching a movie with daddy. Moments I live for as a mom of a visually impaired baby. My breath is just taken away as I watch him staring so intently at the screen, popping cheerios in his mouth and laughing at the movie, just like a big boy. (It happens to be Tinkerbell he's watching. It's nice and colourful and bright! Perfect for his vision)
And now for the real reason I wanted to write a post at midnight on a Saturday. Someone decided he is too grown up to sleep tonight, and he went down for a bit at his bedtime but then woke up and decided he wasn't going back to bed. So he is now enjoying his Saturday night, staying up late, snacking on cheerios and watching a movie with daddy. Moments I live for as a mom of a visually impaired baby. My breath is just taken away as I watch him staring so intently at the screen, popping cheerios in his mouth and laughing at the movie, just like a big boy. (It happens to be Tinkerbell he's watching. It's nice and colourful and bright! Perfect for his vision)
Thursday, October 22, 2009
I Like Blind People
About two minutes later....
Sorry. Just had to share that. Anyway, our meal plan has been going well so far. I like having food in the house and a good idea of what we're eating each day. I also packed my lunch for Wednesday (I was working an eight hour day) and it was yummy and delicious! I had a ham sandwich, carrots & cucumbers with dip, and a banana. The kinders had their fun lunch (we make them a hot lunch once a week) and there was extras so I got to have some delicious macaroni and cheese (it was made from actual noodles and shredded mozzarella, not KD) and one of my coworkers brought cookies to share. So it was quite a yummy and filling lunch that day.
We've been going to swimming every Tuesday and Thursday still, and I am still loving it! It's a great time for us to spend together as a family. We all enjoy it, and Skyler is exhausted afterward! Huge bonus. Last night he didn't sleep very well at all. So I am hoping (fingers crossed, knocking on wood) that tonight he will sleep much better since we just got home from swimming.
Also I noticed on Thursday nights, the last few times we have gone that in the change room at the same time as us there are a few special needs kids with a very nice lady who must take care of them. One of these children is a blind boy. He must be about 10 or so, today while we were showering off after swimming the blind boy heard Chuck talking and asked his caregiver who the man he heard was. She said "that's a gentleman who is here with his baby, and his... partner? wife? girlfriend?" I said "wife", and then as we stepped out of the shower I approached the woman. I said "I don't mean to be rude or anything, but he is blind right?" and she confirmed. So I went on to tell her with a smile, that my son is blind as well. And we spoke for a moment. She was very friendly, and told me a little about the boy. He came over from Africa many years ago sent by Red Cross, her mother is his caregiver and he has lived with her since he came here. He woke up on Christmas day when he was younger and realized he was completely blind. He can only see light, on occasion. We spoke briefly about the CNIB and she asked if Skyler's vision was something that surgery could fix. I said no, it's the optic nerves, and she said the boy's condition was static as well since he is lacking his retinas.
It was a pleasant exchange in the locker rooms, and I'm happy that I wasn't too shy to say hello and start up a conversation with them. My favourite part was as we walked away she said to the boy "remember you asked who the man was, and I said he was here with his wife and their baby, well his baby is blind too." and the boy said "Just like me?!" very excitedly, and she said "yes just like you" and he said "That's cool. I like blind people!" haha it was just so cute. Melted my little heart.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Nightmares..
Wow, so I'm in between my shifts today and napping on my couch. I wake up after about two hours, sobbing. I was sobbing in my sleep and as I woke up. Want to know why? I dreamt I was going to a funeral for a little girl. Maybe about six or eight years old. Her little sister was handicapped in some way that caused her not to be able to walk. And I remember one part of the dream like it was a scene from a movie. Where the little girl who was still alive, sat atop her sister's coffin. After that, there was a part where we lowered her into the ground, the coffin just kept going down and down and down until it disappeared from sight entirely. The hole was neverending. I remember wandering around the funeral asking how she died. It was something to do with her playing a game with her sister and something went wrong.. I don't remember the details.
That my dear friends, was extremely disturbing. I hope that wasn't a premonitory dream. Especially since I work at a daycare. *shudders*.
I hope you all have more pleasant dreams than I do. I'm almost afraid to close my eyes again. I woke up sobbing, I couldn't imagine going through that for real. Especially not with my own child. Horrifying.
That my dear friends, was extremely disturbing. I hope that wasn't a premonitory dream. Especially since I work at a daycare. *shudders*.
I hope you all have more pleasant dreams than I do. I'm almost afraid to close my eyes again. I woke up sobbing, I couldn't imagine going through that for real. Especially not with my own child. Horrifying.
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