Wednesday, May 28, 2008

And You're Here Because?

This post is in response to a flamer who commented on clc's blog. Now for anyone who doesn't know clc, she is someone I've been reading for quite a while. Someone who deserves immense amounts of respect for dealing with what she deals with, and for being so kind and compassionate despite how much she is going through. Now someone made a very unkind, very insensitive comment on her blog, and followed it up with another (that fortunately was deleted before I read it because I can just tell my blood pressure would be through the roof right now). I want to say to you anonymous (yes this person was too chicken to even use a screen name, hello you don't have to use your real name, yet you are too afraid to even make one up) that you need to re-evaluate what you are doing reading blogs like clc's.

Are you here in deadbabyland just to criticize people who have been through tragedy and make us feel guilty about greiving? Do you really consider this the way a good christian would act? And I am sorry to say that I have seen/heard far too many people who consider themselves christians acting like this. Which to be fair, this happens with people of ANY religion, class, race, age, gender, whatever. Too many people act like this. It just grates on my nerves that people would use a religion which is supposed to be something that helps you get through the dark times, as a weapon against others. Can you not see that clc is clearly hurting for very obvious reasons? And that saying she will have a baby, and that everyone will eventually have a baby because it is god's plan, is in no way going to make this pain any less significant or meaningful. she lost a child. This is not something you can just replace, like a lamp or a chair.

And another thing I'd like to point out here is that you are completely wrong. Not everyone will have a child. Some people never will. Is this god's plan? I doubt it, that's just the nature of life. It is unfair. Very unfair. Things just happen without rhyme or reason sometimes, like babies dying and infertility, and car crashes, and cancer. So is god going to magically wave a wand and make everything all better by granting everyone babies? Um doubtful. Should you go around spewing bs about how easy life is and how we should all just walk around being happy and pretending everything is completely normal, and that losing a baby is no reason to be upset? Again, I don't think so. It isn't your place to tell other people how to live their lives or what to believe. And I bet you would probably be upset if someone tried to do the same to you. I happen to be pagan but you don't see me running around telling everyone on the internet that they should go hug a tree and embrace their inner goddess. These are my beliefs, and I think it is only fair that we let others decide on their own.

Also I hope you respond to this, and I hope you say something about my religion, because that will just prove to me how narrowminded you are. And just how badly you seem to want somebody to care about what you're saying.

In the meantime, I know I am going to keep loving and missing and grieving for the baby that I lost, and I have a feeling that the others in deadbabyland will do the same. And I for one know that I am not going to censor myself, this is my blog, just like clc's blog is hers. If she wants to talk about how uncomfortable she is around pregnant women then she should talk about it. And by the way she is not in any way mean to pregnant women ever. She has been nothing but perfect to me, and I happen to be pregnant, and I honestly don't know how she does it after what she has been through.



Mrs. Spit said...

I'm a Christian. And sometimes, I can't tell the Christians from the non Christians. Which makes me wonder, if we are supposed to be salt and light to the world, how is the world supposed to know who the Christians are, if I don't?

Azaera said...

It's true. Some people don't seem to understand their own religion.. Which I think sucks, in theory I think christianity can be a beautiful belief, and a lot of christians are wonderful people, it's just down to what they understand about their religion and how they choose to act and live their lives. So in essence I'm saying that I didn't mean any disrespect to people like yourself who practice and don't preach. I'm just tired of the many who preach and don't practice.. especially things like compassion.

Alex & Jill said...

I'm glad you wrote something else on this. I finally had to take a sleeping pill just to get some sleep last night...things that anonymous said just kept running through my mind and I was getting all upset over it again. I can't even imagine how it made CLC feel.

Christ would have cried with the woman that just lost her child. He would have never said, suck it up, you shouldn't feel that way. That was the kind of love and compassion He showed. In my opinion, anonymous needs to read his/her bible a little more.

Antigone said...

Just another naive, stupid soul without empathy. The world is full of them.

CLC said...

Thanks azaera for this post and your comments. The last comments left on my blog almost lead me to believe it's a kid or something. I have ranted and raved and now I am just going to ignore. It's sad that people can be so callous with our feelings!

Azaera said...

I know, some people just don't have anything better to do, and don't seem to care that others are hurting. Did you hear about the person who coerced a teenager to kill herself by masquerading as a teenage boy online. This woman went on MySpace and pretended to be a boy, told some girl he had a crush on her, and then after leading her on for a while, she told the girl "I don't really care about you, the world would be better off without you" and the girl hung herself. So in short, people can be pretty heartless and I think the internet just makes it easier because they can't see you. They can hide behind "anonymous' tags.