Thursday, February 5, 2009

Comment Moderation

Thanks to everyone who commented, and thanks Litterof1 for finding all that stuff for me. I appreciate it.

I haven't been commenting on everyone's blogs as much as usual lately. I'm still reading everyday, but I don't know I just don't feel right. Everyone else has such deep meaningful things to say, and when someone makes a sad post I just don't know how to be comforting. I feel like it's all been said before and I kind of feel like it isn't fair to everyone, here I am all happy in my little bubble with my little baby.. I mean I got what I wanted, while everyone else is still mourning or losing and trying over and over, or being terrified of how things will turn out. I just hate to feel that I am sort of rubbing my happiness in people's faces when things aren't working out the way they should for them.

Even with no sleep, and a million feedings a night, and thrush and his pituitary problems and his development things from being a preemie, I still have nothing to complain about, there are so many people who have it far worse than me. And C asked me the other day if I would still want another baby. I said in a heartbeat, I'd do it all again right now if I didn't want to continue nursing Sky. He said he thought that maybe after the NICU experience I wouldn't want to try again. But I would, I told him that at least now I have some idea of what to expect, even if the next one were to end up there. And I know that anything could go wrong again, and I'd be completely paranoid all over again because there is still miscarriage and stillbirth to worry about, but I'd still do it again anyway. Even if I lost the baby, I would be devastated, but if there's a chance I will end up with another one like this one I already have then I will take it. Of course that won't be until Sky is one or two, but I really do want another, and I am willing to face all the risks that come along with it.

Anyway let me know if it's okay to comment on your blogs, or if you'd prefer I didn't. Don't worry I won't be offended, I'd rather know than continue doing it if it's something upsetting.


Mrs. Spit said...

Why in the world wouldn't you comment?

She said...

I know what you mean, but I keep on commenting on people's blogs even though I already have a kiddo. I know I'm still "in the trenches" at the current time, so that makes it a little different, but I agree that you should go ahead and continue to comment! (And even though you don't think you can be comforting, you've BEEN there, so you probably know better things to say than 90% of the population!)

Amy said...

I love your comments, and your bubby happy baby world. I've said it before, but know that you give me hope that I can have that, too.

Ya Chun said...

please comment on my blog when you have time or something to say. I still read your blog, why wouldn't i want you to impart your reflections on my thoughts?

CLC said...

I like when you comment. I find that I have been staying away from the blogs lately myself. I am just so scared and there's not much more to write about on that subject. Plus, I can't focus on the sad stories right now because it only adds to my anxiety. I feel selfish in saying that, but I think I need to do it for the next several weeks to preserve what little sanity I have left.