Wednesday, February 11, 2009


I started this post a few days ago, but didn't finish it, and then Sky got sick. So I'm sorry for not posting sooner. Thank you Mrs. Spit for the thoughtful questions.

1. What was the single hardest thing about Skyler being born premature?

Feeling like we didn't have the chance to bond. Worrying that he was confused because he was surrounded by so many nurses, how would he know who his mommy was? He still seems to be more attached to his dad than me sometimes, and he doesn't always like to look at my face even though most babies are supposed to like looking at their mom's face. It was hard knowing that I couldn't be with him 24/7 even though I wanted to be, and that I was basically a visitor. I had to stand outside the unit and call in on a phone, and if they were busy they would make me wait outside in the hallway before I could see my own child. Also the lack of communication made me very upset. They wouldn't even tell us what drugs they were putting him on, or let us read his chart which legally they have to.

2. What, if anything, will you tell Skyler about Sophie?

That mommy was pregnant before she had him, and that the pregnancy ended too early and the baby wasn't born. That I loved that baby, and she was his sister. And she is always watching over him, and I'm sure she loves him too.

3. You work with young children for a living. What do you find most enjoyable about that?

I love every minute with them. I guess the very best part is seeing the world through their eyes. Everything is so new and magical and wonderful. Every new word they say, every sentence, every new development is just so amazing. I remember N's first steps, it was so exciting. Her first words! Mama, Papa, and Britt-Britt. The first time she clapped, the first time she danced to a song on the radio. I love how today when I came in the door she said "I'm so happy to see you Britt-Britt!" and when she is sad or hurt she wants me to hold her. How she wraps her arms around my neck and gives me a huge slobbery kiss on the cheek or the mouth. How at the end of the day today she said "I miss you awready Britt-Britt!" as I was leaving. When Skyler cries she alerts me immediately even if I'm in the room. "Uh oh Britt-Britt baby Syah's crying! Maybe he's hungry. Don't cry baby Syah!" Today she walked up to him and said "What's up baby Syah?" Everything she does is beyond adorable.

4. Describe your perfect day.

Every day when I wake up to find my son is here with me.

5. If you could change one single thing about your life, right now, what would it be?

It's actually pretty much picture perfect right now.. I can't say I'd wish Sophie had lived because I wouldn't have Skyler... So as much as I want her, it isn't fair to him because I love him and wouldn't trade him for the world. I want more, but I am going to wait until he is older and done breastfeeding before we try again.

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